SUNSHINE!

I went out to shovel yesterday and couldn't.  No matter how hard I tried I simply could not do it.  That snow is so deep! I don't remember seeing it snow THAT much but clearly it did.

So I suggested to Monte he go to Canadian Tire and buy a snow blower.  They aren't too expensive and I see that pretty much everyone around here has one.

Pretty late in the day he set off. Canadian Tire isn't too far away from us.  But fifteen minutes later I got a call.  He forgot his stupid wallet.  Jeez!  So I told him to wait til this morning.  And.....

He had a terrible episode of manic whatever last night.  It was awful...full on ticking, stuttering and terrified of what was going on emotionally.  He said it was the worst he's ever felt.  It didn't last too too long but it left him absolutely distraught and ticking and not able to talk properly.  He finally got a phone call this morning from his team (the hospital sent them the message that he was all better and fine...boy is Monte pissed off about that, he has been waiting for a call with a psych dr. appt.).  They told him to go see my doctor (his dr. too) and get some Ativan to tide him over until his psychiatrist appointment next Monday.  Sigh.  No snow blower and a ton of snow on our driveway and sidewalk.

The sun is shining full force out there today.  It is truly truly spectacular!  The whole house is flooded with light...and my living room windows are filthy filthy filthy!  How the hell does that happen.  As soon as spring comes I need to get the window cleaners in and I need to get the gutters done.  I don't want to own a house anymore.  I want to rent and let someone else worry about that crap.

I think that is my plan, not renting but def moving to a smaller place. Monte doesn't want to live with me.  And I too think it would be way better for him to not live with me.  So over the next year we shall work together to make this happen.  Not sure how but it is a mutual goal.  He wants to live in Victoria which is perfectly fine with me.

With this in mind I have kind of set my goal on a little war house downtown.  I looked at them first before buying this house.  This place has been super good for both of us, but its time to look at moving on in the next year.  That gives me a year to eliminate even more stuff out of my house.  Other than the necessary furniture I am determined to empty this place out.

I have learned over my many house buying experiences, that put it into the air and it will happen, when its supposed to and not a moment sooner.  The perfect place will come along right when its supposed to.  But in the meantime I spend quite a bit of laptop time on realty.ca keeping track of what is for sale and generally what the prices are.

Well I had best hop to.  Things to do and a huge dining room table full of stuff to clear off.  TTYL

A WEE ACCOUNTABLILITY NOTE

I am kind of ashamed of myself at the moment.  Over Christmas I became kind of lax at taking my diabetes pills, metforman. I take them, but not as regularly as I should.  Plus, I ate way more bad stuff than I usually do.  Some sweets but mostly all those other goodies like potatoes, bread and salad dressings etc.

The other thing I stopped doing was checking my blood sugar numbers.  I had been keeping them down around 3 and a half to six.  Never more.

So, last night I noticed my blood checking kit sitting on the windowsill beside my chair.  On a whim, for the first time in over a month, I decided to check.  I knew it would be higher due to the type of meal I had eaten about one hour before.  So I grabbed the kit, poked my thumb, stuck it in the little machine and BAM!!!  22!!!!!  Holy Hannah!!!  Thats BAD BAD BAD!!!  I was shocked!  I double checked and yup!  thats what it was.  OMG!!!

Not checking allows denial.  God!  So no snack before bed and this morning its back down again but that was a real wake up call that was!  I need to get back to what I did months ago.  Three days fasting and one day sensible eating.  Keeping that number down to around 4 over a long period of time (a month) allows you to go back to healthy eating without spikes up to frigging 22!  

So I am laying it out here....back to the plan.  If I find myself not checking my numbers again...I will know why!!!  Now I need to go outside into that miserable freezing blowing wind and shovel a damned sidewalk and driveway.  Monte is sick and it needs shovelling, sick or not.  (shovel list..hahaha).  TTYL

A LITTLE NOTE

Just a quick little note for a couple of things.  I want to thank the commenters for their suggestions and encouragement.

I AM going to leave my tree up for now.  It is little, not in the way and artificial.  Somewhere along the way the other kids are coming up here for another little Christmas so I am leaving it!

And I want to thank "Anonymous" for her suggestion of writing to Oxo!  I never even thought of that!  I have googled it to no avail but writing the company is such a great idea!  I am doing that right as soon as I finish this post.

The last thing I wish to discuss here is Monte. For those that don't know he has been going through a really tough time lately.  And the really hard part here is that I don't totally trust the Doctors diagnosis.  I am a pretty big believer in the patient kind of knowing what is happening with themselves....and Monte absolutely is sure that whatever happened in his brain was NOT connected to his psychosis.  He does not have psychosis anymore.  Other stuff for sure but not that.

When he was first checked into the hospital, he really couldn't speak without stuttering and making sounds.  His head kept twitching and he couldn't control his arms and hands.  As time went by he got better.  Now its a few days later and he still has trouble getting some syllables out and his head is twitching now and then.  But something else really interesting has happened.

His thinking patterns, problem solving, tastes (like now he prefers black coffee) have subtly changed. This happened six months ago too, just not so extreme.  He felt a shift in himself and he suddenly could improvise on the piano...like professional improvising, and he couldn't do that to save his life the day before.  He exponentially took a major jump.  If anyone has any ideas on this we are totally open to suggestions or reading material etc...

So thankyou Dean, Cookie and Anonymous for your words....my tree stays up and I am now going to email Oxo!!!!   TTYL

V8 TO THE RESCUE

Costco.  Hmmm....I know that the decisions they make are in the members, us, best interest.  I know this.  But when they stop stocking something that has become absolutely vital to your life it kind of shakes your world.

That happened a couple of years ago with Oxo.  I always bought those big plastic containers of chicken and beef oxo.  I put that stuff in EVERYTHING.  Spaghetti sauce a little flat?  Throw in oxo beef.  Chicken soup not quite right? Throw in oxo chicken.  Chilli a little tasteless?  Throw in oxo beef.  Meatloaf, chicken and dumplings, soups, spaghettis, hamburgers, casseroles...all of them are better with that magic touch, oxo.  In fact, when I brought the last load of stuff back from Maui I brought back my oxo I had taken over from here.

Well it happened again.  I drink endless amounts of V8.  I often replace a meal with V8.  I would prefer the low sodium kind they sell in Maui, but the V8 up here (not the ones with fruit juice in them..too much sugar) isn't too bad.

So a couple of months ago I went to get my usual two cases.  I always keep a whole case in the fridge and the next one out in the garage...at the ready.  And at first I couldn't find it in the usual spot on the back wall.  I felt a little niggle of alarm but I back tracked and looked again, carefully and thoroughly.  Nope.  Not there.  Now I panicked.  I flagged down a Costco worker and asked.  He confirmed that they had stopped stalking it.  OMG!!  I almost cried.  Cuz I am telling you, buying it by the individual can just isn't an option.

So yesterday I asked Monte to make a stop at Superstore, a place I NEVER go to, and pick up a couple of cases there if they had them.  He got them there for me once but the last time he tried, they didn't have them.

And guess what?  He walked in with two cases, but not from Stupid Store, from Costco!!!!!!  Yay!!!!!  All those notes I dropped in their suggestion box maybe helped!  Now to start working on getting Oxo back!

I have a question....when does it become tacky to have your Christmas tree up?  It is so pretty in the living room at night.   I don't want to take it down:(  Thats my fave spot to sit by the fire and read my books.  Its cozy and warm and quiet and pretty.  But I guess its gotta happen.  Sigh.  (shovel list)  

TTYL

THE BOYS HAD TO EAT IN THE LIVING ROOM

HERE'S THE REST OF US

EMMA KNOWS WHERE TO SIT

THE BOYS TABLE

OH OH!!  CHANGE OF MENU COMING UP

WAHHHHHH!!!!

HAPPY HAPPY ITS BACK

AUNTIE IRIS CHASING THE ENGINEERED BALLOON THINGY

I'M NOT HAPPY RIGHT NOW

I usually am happy, but honestly, right now I just simply am not.  It seems a sad time right now.

Christmas is over.  New years is over.  Everyone is gone.  K&K are gone for a month.  Monte is in the hospital.  My hair sucks bad.  I am fat.  My house is a disaster.  Its f**king freezing out.  There is a cat that seems to be abandoned living in the snow on my deck.  I can't catch it.  I worry about it.  Spod is dead.  (okay, now I am sitting in a corner eating worms)

I hardly ever feel this way.  Its kind of a novelty.  I think it really boils down to my hair.  Bad hair days aren't cool and I am going to have bad hair days from now til eternity.  I miss my poof.

I asked my cousin Heather to cut it.  She did a stellar job but I want all, not just what she cut, but the stuff that has fallen out over the last year cuz of pills, of it back.

I don't think anyone understands what a momentous life changing moment it was to cut my hair.  I have had the same hairstyle, one I love cuz its easy and balances out the hump in my back, for about twenty five years.

So there I sat, on a chair, in the middle of the kitchen.  Heather, scissors in hand, stood behind me.  Facing me along the edge of the kitchen, sitting in comfy chairs, was Monte, Graeme and Anton.  They were busy talking and eating and listening to music as Heather cut my happy place off.  It had to happen but as I sat there fully aware of how this one act was going to affect my life drastically, they all just ate and talked and listened as though nothing huge and momentous had just happened right in front of them.  They will never know.

A couple of days later I was looking at facebook.  My sister had put a bunch of fun colourful pics of the new year's party on.  One of them caught me somewhat in the background, sitting in a chair.  It took my breath away.  It had to be the truly ugliest picture of me ever taken.  Fat double chin, straight thin flat hair, a shirt I hate so much I had already thrown it out.  I looked just like little Lottie.  And pictures don't lie.  I do believe I hit bottom at that moment.  Mind you I didn't have too far to fall, I was already on my way down.

I am going to quit this post right now.  It is just way too indulgently wound licking.  TTYL

HAPPY FULL WEEK

Well....its definitely time to catch up here!!!  Christmas was a huge hit this year.

Christmas Eve:  We all went down to Craig and Jo's for the evening.  I am not sure how many were there but the huge house was packed.  All those people ranged from a one year old not walking yet to a very delightfully dementia(ed) couple of eighty something grammas.  They all belonged to someone...a pack full of rellies it was.

Everyone brought amazing appies!  And baking!!  And one of the couples brought christmas carol song books so at one point in the evening we had a loud boisterous awesome sing along! 

But the highlite of the night, and this whole Christmas, was when Kathy came into the living room and made a magical suggestion.  But first let me explain something.

My Mother's sister Iris and her awesome daughter Heather are spending the holiday with Kathy.  Antie I is 86 I think.  She has dementia, which just adds to her charm.  We answer her questions a hundred times over if need be...happily.  She carries around a good size bag full of wool.  Winding, untangling and crocheting is what she does continuously, stopping occasionally to either eat, sleep or play a round of giant jenga.  My other mother I always called her.

On Craig's side of the family is Carol, his paternal gramma...also delightfully dementia(ed).  I don't know her well but she is as cute as a button!

Carol was sitting over in one corner and Aunty I was sitting on the couch across the room.  Kathy came in and suggested we seat them together.  And so we did and then the magic happened.

  They started to talk to each other, repeating their questions about every three minutes:  And whats your name dear?  How do you spell that?  Where are we right now?  I don't know.  Whats your name dear?  How do you spell that?  And then they would spend a few sentences on the wool and untangling and crocheting and then....Whats your name dear?   It was soooo awesome.  And those two old ladies did that for FOUR hours!!!  We all stood back and just joyously took it in.  In fact Craig's mom, who was hosting that family's Xmas dinner the next day, asked if she could borrow Auntie I the next day.  Hahaha!

On Christmas day we had lasagna dinner up here at my place.  Christmas dinner was set for boxing day.  I bought three lasagnas from M&M Meat shop and they were awful.  I am really sad about that.  But there were twelve squeezed in at the table.   It was tight but it worked!  After dinner we played word games and there was no doubt that good ole' Auntie I beat us all!!!  Lovely day.

I got up at dawn the next morning and stuffed a giant turkey and made breakfast.  We thought we had bought a twenty pounder but it turned out to be about fifteen so it didn't take as long as I had thought it would.  Around three Monte and Anton ( our special guest that Kathy so warmly welcomed) and I packed the food into the van and headed down.  Kathy was flying around the kitchen, Jocelyn joined her and they put on a delicious dinner.  There were sixteen to table and we had yams, mashed spuds, veg. casserole, brussel sprouts, beets (mmmmm) turkey, stuffing and gravy.  I am sure I forgot something!  Then we played games and visited and played giant jenga (so nerve wracking! I almost got killed!)  What an awesome time was had by all.

The next day I layed out a spectacular lunch, if I say so myself and Anne's son Larry and family came for a visit.  Kevin and Tandy were here...Kevin and Larry are good friends and hadn't seen each other in forever.  They grew up together.  They have two lovely children, 10 and 12 and they played with Fenton and Elise downstairs.  Man we had a great visit.  K & T headed out to a hotel here in town for a couple of nights and I have the children.  Anne stayed til ten.  Another stellar day I must say.

Sometime in the night Monte woke me to tell me he needed help...his bipolar downward slide has become too difficult for him to handle. So down to the hospital he went to get help.  Poor guy...he just wants to be normal but that just isn't happening for him.  Its hard to watch too.  They gave him zoloft, I have no idea what that is or what it does.  Hopefully it will help in the long run.

So now here I sit with my grandchillens watching Jungle Book and eating junk with admonitions to not tell parents.  I think those admonitions are probably more damaging than the chocolate and chips!  Hahaha!!!  Gma's rule!!

Of course there were occasional bumps in the road as there always is when families come together.  But I aint' writing about those!!!  I want a family after this Christmas is over!!!!!  Love you all and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!  TTYL

AUNTIE I PLAYING JENGA

BUSY WITH HER WOOL

VERY PLEASED WITH HERSELF SHE WAS

HEATHER CAN'T BELIEVE SHE DID IT!

UNFORTUNATELY THERE WERE A FEW PEOPLE MISSED....FROM THE LEFT...ANNE, KEO, LARRY, FENTON, KEVING, TANDY AND ELISE.  AQUINO AND MAX ARE MISSING

BELL RINGING, FREEZING, RUSSIAN BOOKS, TURKEY STUFFING

Today is bell ringing day for the salvation army.  Now I love to volunteer and do good works, but its twenty below out there.  I can't get warm inside this house, never mind out there in the windy cold.

The first stint I am doing with Michelle.  She is a good looking fifty something and does a lot for Kiwanis.  But...for some odd reason she doesn't drive.  I don't know why she doesn't drive, but she doesn't.  I don't think I know anybody over the age of 25 who doesn't have their driver's license.  Maybe she will tell me today why she doesn't.  I know its not just not having a car...she actually doesn't have her license.  She is a hoot though and I think it will be fun.  I am going to take a chair just in case.  No way can I stand for hours on end.

I asked Michelle why she doesn't drive and she told me that her husband died about the same time Spod did.  Apparently he drove her everywhere and she never had a need for a licence.  But now she is considering it.  She really is at the mercy of getting rides from everyone.

Kathy is signed up for the following couple of hours and if she doesn't have anyone to be with, and by the looks of it she doesn't, then I will go and help her out.  In this cold you need someone to spell you off for a few minutes so you can go inside and warm up.  Today we are outside the liquor store at Sahali.  Hmmm...maybe free samples would help.

I was just reading an article about how another blast of cold winter air is going to hit BC.  Okay, it continued to say that people need to look after each other at this time and particularly keep an eye out for the elderly as they are more prone to hypothermia than the younger ones.  Elderly...well jeez when are you considered elderly?  Nearly 65, fully grey headed, sore knees, sore hips, is that not elderly?   I will finish this post later and report back to you, if I survive hypothermia that is. 

Okay, I ain't gonna lie!  It was fekking cold out there!!!  It was dark, snowing and freezing.  But we made over 800 dollars!  And it was a lot of fun.  Michelle was a hoot, as I suspected she would be and it is always great spending time with Kathy.  When I got home I bundled up in fuzzy warm stuff, wrapped up in a cozy blanket and stayed sunk down in my fave kitchen chair.  But it took hours and hours to warm up!

I wrote the above a couple of days ago.  Sunday night K&K came up for dinner.  We had a great time!  They are such good company and Kerry did the dishes afterwards!  I was very impressed and even more impressed with where he put stuff!

Monday evening Monte and Anton came by to jam downstairs.  I feel so lucky that I get to have such awesome music barrelling up the stairs.  I love it!  Monte had to run down to London Drugs and whip over to Walmart.  This gave Anton and I a chance to visit.  Somehow the convo ended up on books, and Russian Fairy Tales.  So interesting.  I ended up purchasing a beautiful Russian fairy tale, hard cover, and a kindle version of the funniest book called, "The Wasp Factory" by Iain Banks. (the latter is not Russian)  He is so funny.  Its worth looking it up on Amazon just to read his preface.  I have only started the book but I can already tell I am going to thoroughly enjoy it!

Today has been a tougher day for one reason and another.  But one thing I got done was turn eight loaves of bread, six onions, half a cup of poultry seasoning and two pounds of butter into the yummiest stuffing. (NO BESMIRCHING CELERY!!  shovel list)  I packed it into bread bags and into the freezer, all ready for the twenty pound turkey coming my way soon for roasting!

TTYL