So unreliable. Honestly I have a weak tiny excuse this time. This household has actually been sick. It has been a long time since the three of us got sick. I almost forgot what being sick felt like and I almost panicked. The worst symptom other than weakness and tired was my eyesight. My eyes became wonky and glassy. There were brown spots, tiny ones, wiping out the view in those spots. What the hey!!?? Anywho I am completely back to normal this morning and so are the others. Scary moment over.
I like to do a gratitude think every morning. I used to aim for five but now I just aim for one super significant one. I have so many that doing five is easy. But to narrow it down to an important one is a little more of a thinker.
This morning I was doing my emails and I was reading one of my articles I get each day. It was written by a minister, an Asian woman in her thirties. She wrote about how often she has personal sessions with older people in her congregation who are troubled one way or another. She wrote that she always starts with what is your biggest regret in life and what is your happiest memory.
The regret was inevitably about their family. Maybe wishing they had been closer, or their children were closer to each other or the dad wasn't an a-hole. (just kidding, it just seems a lot of family problems begin with an unbending unfeeling father)...really she didn't say that last one.
It got me to thinking about my regret and happy time. My biggest regret was what I warp I was until I left home at 17. I was NOT a nice or good kid. I have written a post about that and I will post it next post. Accountability!
When the ladies in the congregation said that the happiest times were when they had young kids at home, I had a bolt of realization. The pastor asked how that could be? Between work, household, kids (and a-hole dad) wasn't it a very stressful time? And they always answered that being surrounded by their kids in their home at the end of the day was the best memory possible.
And that is when it hit me that I was the luckiest person ever. I DID IT TWICE!!!!!!!!!!!! I had my first kids in the early 70's and consciously loved every single minute of it. Every single minute. Part of that could be I was a single mom until those ones were tweeners. Single. And the second time was in the late eighties and early 90's. Now married. And I loved every moment. There was a period there where we were blending two families and I will be honest...it wasn't easy...but I still loved it.
Now I have to say here my rather jaded opinion of fathers is absolutely not based on my dad or my Billyboy. It is based on the news, neighbours, friends, endless information about the latest crime against women and children by dads. Men are a problem on this earth.
We were blessed with an amazing loving patient father. Until I grew up I thought all fathers were like him. I was shocked when I found out that wasn't the case. And I will admit there were times that were more difficult due to Bill. But I loved him and to some extent I ruled him and he was open to change because he didn't want to lose me. We loved each other to pieces.
So my gratitude was threefold....experiencing family life twice, having an amazing loving father and ending up with the love of my life. What more could one want I ask.
Gotta bounce, I have one terrible kitchen to clean.
TTYL&TFL