CRASH AND BURN

Hokey Dinah!  I just couldn't function today.  I couldn't even really be happy!  I think it all caught up to me finally.  I was never really any good at doing too many things at once for too long.  I woke up this morning around four am and simply could not go back to sleep.  I kept redecorating the new house and making lists in my head.  And then I started to think about all the decisions that NEED to be made ahead of time so that we (read "I") get the place exactly the way I want, I mean we, want it!

Bill and I have done many renos and actual building of houses in our history and I have learned the hard way that to get what I know will work and look good, I have to get loud and bossy.  When I haven't done so in the past we have ended up with tubs that try to drown you, doors opening the wrong way and you lose the use of half a room, a four hundred step kitchen instead of a ten stepper, islands that don't have plug ins...well you get the picture.

So, in the night I had some serious thoughts to this end, serious enough I decided to write them down.  Now, I have to tell you how writing something down in the night is a ridiculous idea at best for me.  You see I am blind enough in blazing sunlight with my glasses on.  In the night?  Sure......I can see shadows and thats about it.  I use a cpap, you know, one of those breathing thingies...Its a head gear that fits over your nose and half your face with straps that go around the head.  If I need to arise for any reason, and I am coming back to bed, I just leave the head gear on and pull the hose off, its easier.  But I cannot possibly put glasses on.  So, I reached over and got my notebook and pen and started to write my list, blindly.  I was pretty sure I stayed on a straight line and I printed very clearly but when I got up and looked this morning, I couldn't read a thing.  How the hell does something that is so straight and perfect in my mind be so flipping illegible and messy.  I really couldn't read a thing!  And whats more, when I did recall some of the things I had written down, they were completely unimportant and insignificant!  They seemed so dire in the middle of the night!

Another thing that seems to happen a lot is choices.  The builder, or Bill or whoever will come over and say some thing like, "So we have the boards ready to lay the floor.  Which way would you like them to go, back and forth or up and down?"  "Oh Jeez!," I answer, "they have to go back and forth, up and down would just make the room look way to small."  "  Well,........sorry....can't be done.  The way these boards measure out they are going to have to go up and down."  Well wtf!!  why the hell did you ask me?!!  This happens over and over..its just amazing.  I will be blogging through all of this coming up and you will see...I will mention it each time it happens!

And that brings me to another thing....we have pigeons up in the rafters or whatever its called, outside our bedroom window.  Really early in the morning they start cooing to each other, and they are loud, at least to me.  Bill, who is deaf, can't hear them and what he can't hear doesn't exist.  So annoying.  And they are stinky and messy.  So even if I do manage to sleep past four in the morning, the stupid pigeons wake me up.  And I know from past experience that you CANNOT get rid of them.  I need a gun, one of those big blasters that porky pig ran around with.

Well I must be off to bed.  I am too tired to think straight and I might say something I shouldn't.  TTYL

ps...dumb pics today..sorry