Well another easy going day today. I looked up Fat Lady Stores and found one that was within walking distance from the hotel. I see a lot of very large British ladies in really nice stuff so I thought it was worth a try.
Yeah, well that didn't go so well. Talk about humiliating. The place was tiny, dead silent and the cheapest thing in there was about 200 pounds, thats four hundred in real money. And, the stuff was soooo ugly and not me.
Speaking of which, the two sales ladies were dressed head to toe in couture clothing, they being skinny and skeletal (shovel list...skinny sales people in fat people stores). I felt like a fat country bumpkin that fell off a turnip truck. I DID NOT BELONG IN THAT TINY PERFECT STORE. I should have cut my losses and spun around and left. But being the polite meek Canadian that I am, I didn't.
One of the sticks stepped forward and offered to help me find exactly what I was looking for. So, long story short, amongst all those expensive awful clothes I did agree to try a couple of things on.
The first item was what appeared to be a fairly reasonable looking (at least on the hanger) coaty jackety type thing. So I tried it on. Um hum....it fit, but Bill, who was sitting in the one chair in the place, kind of loudly and not very nicely pointed out I looked like a bat. So I looked in the mirror and as usual from front it was not too too bad but the moment I moved and turned sideways I turned into a bat...a pregnant one. Next!
I swapped the bat coat out for a rather gothic long shiny black parachute material coat. I kind of liked it so I put it on with a wee bit more enthusiasm. I should have known better. Every foot or so it had a drawstring option that completely encircled the coat, starting at the empire waste. The coat went right down to my ankles, but at just below the knee level, for some reason the coat went out to a point then back in..like having triangles down there. What??? It looked totally ridiculous and not only that the stupid thing was 795 pounds!!!!!
And all the while I am trying these two things on, one of the sticks kept holding up hideous sweaters and long sleeved tunics and wool dresses and I had to keep saying no, not me, no I never wear things like that, no no, that would be too hot...I finally asked if they had anything that wasn't wool and long sleeved. Freeze, stare, nose lifts a fraction and in a very snide jokey kind of tone, "Well it is winter collection after all." At that point I did cut my losses and told them that they really did NOT have anything in there that caught my fancy. They gave each other a 'knowing' look and I called Bill and said come on. We left. I am not looking for the other one I found online.
Next we wandered back to the hotel, stopping now and then for coffee. When we got back to our room I filled the big giant tub hot soapy water and had a good soak. It must have worked because I felt much better after. Bill went down below and bought tickets for The Bodyguard for tomorrow night. Not necessarily my pick but he was very taken with the movie so he will enjoy it for sure and I am pretty sure I will too once we are there.
Tonite we went and had dinner in Chinatown then went to the movie The Heat with Sandra Bullock and Melissa MacCarthy. Soooo funny. Now to bed. Tomorrow I am determined to find boots. Don't need an over priced, snooty fat lady store for those. TTYL
No comments:
Post a Comment