Sunday, April 19, 2015

HARDER THAN I THOUGHT

I don't like to admit this, but maybe writing it out may help (nothing better than sharing misery I say!)  Tonight is my last night in this house.  I will probably be in a hotel tomorrow night and the one after.

That means this is the last time I sleep in a place where Bill was.  And I don't know why the hell this is so hard.  I can honestly say that this is the toughest time I have had since the funeral.  Maybe this is the final 'getting it' that he is really gone now.  I don't like this feeling.  It really hurts.  I miss him so much.  I can't wait to put this place behind me and start new.  I think I will put his ashes in the car with me and hope I don't get in an accident on the way up.  Maybe I will bring Mom with me too.  I can hash it out with them on the way to Kamloops.  I will post again before leaving.  Sorry for the downer post.   TTYL

2 comments:

  1. There you go again, thinking you owe us unicorns and bluebirds all the time. You are sharing life. This is life. I totally get why this is so hard. Of course it is. I am so sorry you are hurting so much. I think taking Bill and your Mom in the car with you is a grand idea. You can tell them how you feel about your new start.

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  2. I think I would probably feel the same way.

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