Tuesday, December 7, 2021

SIZE CONFUSION

 I have a real problem with knowing what a listed size is.  I just don't compute the details into real life. In Maui we went to a lovely waterfront restaurant, you know the kind that charges an arm and leg for Mac and cheese, if they actually had that.

It was prime rib night and I was starving and still a carnivore with an appetite.  So I was busy talking to Arnie who happened to be with us that night along with April, not paying attention.  I ordered their biggest cut, as rare as possible.  Usually there are two sizes, normal and small.  Bill casually asked me "are you sure?"  YES!  I answered kind of snippily.  I think I know what I want.

Well holy crap!!!  The waiter comes and with great aplomb, plops this dinner plate in front of me  that is entirely covered with a massive, and I mean massive, raw hunk of meat.  OMG!!!  Holy shit!!!  It was huge!  Embarassingly huge!!!! Everybody started to first of all stare, aghast, then laughed and took pictures. Even the waiter was cracking up!  Jeez, I pulled my shirt up and over my face I was so embarrassed.  Bill cash as always drawls, "well you said you wanted it". I could have hit him!  I think that sucker was 36 ounces at least.  I ate a sliver off the edge, took it home and we all had at least two meals out of it.

Well it has happened again, only its chicken gravy.  I have been ordering from both amazon and Walmart.  And inevitably what ends up coming is either too small or bigger than anticipated.  I have learned to check weights but its always in metric.  Jeez I have enough trouble with imperial, never mind metric.  I am constantly getting Hey Google to convert for me.

I bought a door hanger and a wreath from amazon.  When they arrived I actually laughed.  The frigging door hanger was about six inches long.  They are ALWAYS at least a foot.  And the wreath was tiny!  Ridiculously so.  Its hanging on the bathroom door now.

The other day I made an order from Costco.  They are pretty good at speedy deliveries.  So I went through their merchandise and picked quite a few things.  One of them was a bucket of chicken gravy mix.  I like chicken gravy mix.  I whipped through the club house one.  This looked like an ice cream bucket sized one.  My thought was that I could refill the smaller one and store the bucket downstairs. We buy ice cream in those bucket sizes and we buy mayonnaise in buckets too.  Why not chicken gravy??

So a lovely big box arrived from Costco.  It had my two boxes of Verona coffee pods, big bag of croutons, two things I can't mention here, Xmas and all! and....a massive, crazy ass, HUGE, heavy as hell, bucket of chicken gravy.  HUGE!  I can't even convey in words how huge that thing is!  Well I started to laugh.  I mean we won't get through all that in my lifetime, that's for sure!!!  I will put it beside a mayonnaise bucket and take a pic and show you at the bottom.  Seriously!  I need to start taking lessons on size realities!  Hahahaha!!!

  If anyone needs chicken gravy...good for a la king, pot pies, roast chicken dinner, soup thickener, add it to mashed potatoes,  creamed peas, you name it, I will gladly bag a bunch and send it to you!!!!!

Take care folks, stay safe and TTYL

The rhythm of relations of color and size makes the absolute appear in the relativity of time and space. 
-Piet Mondrian

See?  See why I don't understand size ratios?


THERE YOU GO....FIVE KILOS OF CHICKEN GRAVY





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