MESSES

 One day I am going to go through my pictures and collect up all the pics of my epic messes.  I am sure, hopefully, that everybody has epic messes in their lives.  They seem to happen most unexpectedly, at most inappropriate times and a couple of mine were almost impossible to fix.

One mess that was my responsibility to clean but wasn't even done by me! It included:  Twelve dozen cartons of eggs sitting in a paper bag by the sliding door in the living room from my mom's chickens...waiting to be distributed.  A very seventies deep shag rug.  A busy wee two year old.  An exhausted sleeping mom.  Well by the time she was finished, every single egg except one lone egg, was broken all over the carpet, every dang inch of it.  Slimy, sticky egg, mushed into the shag.  I wasn't sound asleep, I had one ear open in the next room but nothing she was doing alerted me to the colossal mess that was happening.  The clean up involved renting a carpet cleaner from Safeway.

Another child related mess was created by another two year child.  I was on the phone with a lawyer, defending (or should I say explaining mortgage facts to the dumb asshat who should have already known them), in other words I was very distracted.  April was in the kitchen playing with pots and pans and toys etc...but when I went to check on her she had spied an open bag of flour in the cupboard.  OMG!!!  She was grabbing handfuls and just simply throwing them in the air...everywhere!

  I didn't let her see me, I just very quietly closed the sliding door to the kitchen and let her have at it.  Kept her busy and the kitchen was destroyed already  anyway.  And you can't vacuum that...clogs up vacuum filters. The minute you wipe it with a wet cloth you get home made paste, lots of home made paste.  I don't know how I finished the clean up...I have wiped that memory right out of my head permanently.

As my Facebook friends will have seen, I put a pic of my latest mess on there.  I will repost it here for my non Facebook friends.  I did NOT know that split peas exploded in the microwave.  Like, why?  They are SPLIT!!!  Doesn't that mean that they are not encased so they can't explode?  But explode they did.   They even shot a fairly good sized piece of meat right out of the damned bowl!  I did have a plastic cover for items in the microwave, but I melted it on the stove top and chucked it.  I have another one but I can't find it.  I seem to lose everything in this house.

I have lost, or should I say misplaced mom.  I have a wee jar I got at the dollar store that says, and I am not kidding, THIS IS MY MOM, on the side.  When we buried her ashes last Thanksgiving, my lovely niece took some of the ashes and put them in the jar. Well mom has been riding around in the centre console of the truck since then.  I took them out the other day, brought them into the house and for the life of me I can't find them now.  I honestly can't remember where I put her.  Jeez! I know where Parker, our second last dog's ashes are, I know where Wrangler's, our last dog's are, but I don't know where me ma is.  Sigh.

On another note, a food one of course, we roasted a duck last night.  That bird was the toughest dam thing I have ever dealt with.  It took me forever to get some meat off it, sawing and hacking, my arm hurts this morning.  This was Monte's idea.  He picked up the damned duck and he had the unmitigated gall to stroll into the kitchen halfway through my butchering job, and casually state, 'boy you sure have done a hack job on that.'  Seriously!

I had some smaller flour wraps.  I slivered celery and green onion and got the hoisin out and we made"Peking duck". They were quite delicious, but would have been improved if I had added a wee bit more veg and taken the duck out completely.  In fact later I went back and loaded a wrap up with celery, onion and hoisin, and it was super yummy.  When I was eating the duck one, my jaw actually got tired chewing that thing.  But Monte was happy and today Graeme is going to make a soup out of the carcass.  There is quite a lot of meat clinging for dear life on those bones.  I know, I couldn't pry it off.

Well time to start my day.  The guy building the wall downstairs is due sometime today.  I sure hope he isn't a flake.  If he is then I am going to go to Windsor Plywood and buy some plywood and hammer the crap up myself and slap some paint on it.  I have some purple paint.  Purple is Ange's fave colour.  It'll work.  Gotta bounce.  Stay safe people.  TTYL

“Cabbage as a food has problems. It is easy to grow, a useful source of greenery for much of the year. Yet as a vegetable it has original sin, and needs improvement. It can smell foul in the pot, linger through the house with pertinacity, and ruin a meal with its wet flab. Cabbage also has a nasty history of being good for you.”
Jane Grigson (1928-1990) ‘Vegetable Book’ (1978)
 

MY CABBAGE SOUP.....PUCKERING FROM LEMON, HOTTER THAN HELL FROM SOMBAL OLEK, AND ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS.  A STAPLE IN THE HOUSE, EATEN WITH A COLOURFUL ONE DOLLAR SPOON AND SOUP BOWL I BOUGHT FROM WISH.

NEED I SAY MORE?