ALMOST TIME TO START SMOKING AGAIN

 Back when I was a naive (read ignorant) youngun' of about forty years old I quit smoking.  Finally the fear of lung cancer outdid the jonesing for a cigarette.  I soothed my frantic early cravings by telling myself that I would smoke again when I hit my mid seventies. You are so close to death what does it matter if you smoke?  Well guess what?  That is NOW!!!!

I had pictured myself sitting in a senior establishment, a fancy particularly beautiful one, at a card table with three other old ladies playing bridge.  On that table were ashtrays and we were firmly ensconced in the smoking section.  It was a pleasant future to look forward to, all of us sucking back that elixir.

And now it's time. Firstly, I am not in a fancy senior establishment.  I am still in my house.  Secondly there is no such thing as a smoking area in these establishments anymore.  You have to go outside suffering the elements, far away from the front door.  Thirdly, who knew a pack of smokes would end up being half your weekly allowance.  Holy Hannah!!!! they are mind numbingly expensive.  And fourthly I still have the deadly fear of lung cancer and a very faded urgency for a cigarette.

Plus, I thought in my mid seventies I would feel more like an old feeble blister. I was wrong.  I have not ended up that way.  I don't feel old enough to justify smoking again.  Plus when I am cooking mildly spicy stuff it seizes my throat up.  I can't imagine assaulting it with smoke.  A couple of years ago I tried a puff from a mild vape, flavoured with raspberry and I still cough when I think of it.  I have become a weenie,

So now I have to give up a long held dream.  I looked forward to that day in that lovely place with other old lady blisters. But I think I will stick to just visiting the old folks place here in Port.  I am starting soon with the old lady who took Monte in a few years back when he desperately needed a place.  Shirley is now in a senior place and her grandson and I are going to start visiting.  A much healthier endeavour I would say.  TFL&TTYL