whine

I haven't written in a while. For a good reason. No matter what I write it is going to turn into a big long giant victimy whine.
So, WARNING! I know at the end of this I will feel much better, but you may not.....and not only that , you may lose a lot of respect for me. Whiners are annoying.

Whine one: Husband....I feel I almost don't have to say anymore than that....husband. Example: When he needs to make a phone call the whole household gets pulled into it somehow. "Put the damn dog out on the deck..I can't hear when his nails are clicking on the floor!" (so why can't he get off his ass and put the damn dog out himself). "How do I work this damn phone. How do I find the past calls? I don't like these new phones. Where is Claire's number? I gave it to you... where is it?" I get up again and show him how to find the numbers. "I can't read this. Have you seen my glasses? If you just left all this stuff alone I would be able to find my stuff. Where did you put my glasses?" I find them where he left them in the kitchen. "Turn that damn thing off. I can't hear when the tv is on." I pause my show that I pvred and thought he was busy outside for long enough for me to watch it. Now he is on the phone...yelling (he just simply gets LOUD when he talks on a phone...no reason) Suddenly he hollers to me, where I am now in the bedroom folding the latest batch of laundry, "wheres a pen and a something to write on?" I enable all this and find him pen and paper, beside his chair.

This happens every damn phone call. Last night I was watching a show while he was out gardening. He comes in, tracks dog crap across the floor and plunks himself down in his chair. The phone rings, it is my sister. We won't be long so I mute, not pause, the show I am watching. He waves his hand at me over and over to throw him the clicker. There is only ten minutes left in my show so who cares, I throw it over. He proceeds to find a show to watch in record time (he usually can't figure out how to use the clicker), punches it in and proceeds to turn it up to a deafening volume. So I go "Bill!! Turn it down I can't hear!" And can you believe what his response was????? "Don't talk so loud, I can't hear it." Oh My God!!!!! I was so pissed off I just talked louder, picked up a secondary clicker we have and turned it down. Just a little. I could have muted it.

Whine Two: Noise. When I was a kid my mother was one of those mothers that couldn't, or in her case wouldn't, tolerate a lot of noise. I swore that when I grew up I would not be like her. And, for the most part I wasn't. The kids were never that noisy that I had to nag them about it. Then along came Bill. (this blog is turning out to be a big whine against Bill...and I don't care)

I try to get up really early so I can get two or three hours of peace and quiet. i blog, read and return emails, watch taped shows, talk to April as she puts on her make up for her day at work, cuddle dogs etc... Then Bill arrives, big heavy slippers slapping on the floor, harumphing and clearing the crap out of his throat (as men get old the crap in their throat increases and sticks), sneezes about twelve times, loud and long, coughs and coughs, bangs cupboards, turns on his stupid laptop radio to CKNW. He simply does NOT care how loud or intrusive he is. What Billy wants, Billy gets.

Whine three: Things that don't work...when they are supposed to. Like the microwave. We bought a new one about six months ago. It is fantastic. The other day, right in the middle of cooking rice, the power bar it is plugged into blows. So I reset and turn it back on. It had run for ten minutes. It ran for an additional five and blew again. Reset. two minutes. blow. reset. 1 minute. blow. reset. 30ish seconds. blow. 5 seconds. reset. 5 seconds. blow......it would not go longer than five seconds. Period. I wanted to pitch the whole damn thing out into the back yard.

And speaking of things that don't work.....SHAW!! If I go to hell it will be because of Shaw. Our internet is so slow that Netflix told us they can't send us movies, Backblaze can't back up my computers, we can't watch youtube videos, soundsamples in itunes keep buffering and won't play. We phone them (an average wait time is 45 min..but we have been on hold up to 90) They promise to look into it, tell us it is fixed and it never changes. One month when we were on a trip, the kids told us the internet was out for three weeks. They fixed somethng on the pole and it came back, slow as usual. Yesterday, I timed it, it took me forty five minutes to buy tickets to the movies. Ridiculous. So I phoned up telus, ordered high speed internet from them, and I get an Xbox for free and by this time next week Shaw internet will no longer exist for us. I can't friggin wait.

Whine four: Mess. Other people's self indulgent lazy ass messes. I could rant for pages but I won't. I shall mention only one. The stove. Our stove is a beautiful stainless steel gas range (thank you Aryn) And it isn't really hard to clean, its just time consuming. I clean it thoroughly about once every three days. What really bugs me though is when someone (and we know who that would be) boils potatos or some such, it boils over and he leaves it. Then he fries bacon or sausage or something spitty, and leaves that. Then he cooks eggs, frequently dropping one (and as he gets older he drops a lot more) then inadequately wipes it. By the time the three day marker comes the stove has become a half day job. I don't understand why it has to be me that has to clean it. The same with the toilet....but I will spare you and not give details about that one.

You know, if I didn't have Bill and Monte around, I would be living in a silent, clean blissful environment!! My next blog will be about why I gladly put up with all the above and wouldn't trade it for anything!!!......(but it might be a while...Bill is over there in the kitchen, very noisily frying spitty bacon)