POO AND TURLETS AND EMBARRASSMENT MAXIMA

We are having a ramp built on the side of the house.  It will make it so much easier to get in and out of the house, especially after one of our epic Costco trips!

We use this magical family team who have done all the other awesome work in our house.  Its such a magical thing to have builder peeps that you not only trust but really really like.  Some of the best visits we have is with them and their work is stellar.  There is a dad and two gorgeous sons and their gorgeous work friends. Elliott, the head cheese and dad, came in the other morning for coffee and a planning session.  I knew that someone was coming around nine yest morning to take measurements etc.  As such, I made sure Bill was dressed and ready to deal with this, unlike myself.

Suddenly April called up that someone was here and was coming in.  Holy Crap, I dashed to the bedroom.  I had brushed out my hair in preparation for washing so it was straight up and all over, I did not have my teeth in, so no front teeth, I had on giant, down to the knees, fluorescent green plaid shorts and the baggiest ugliest shirt you ever saw on and tall fluffy slippers.  I slammed the door and yelled out to Bill I wouldn't be coming out, in fact I was going to slip into the loo and have my shower.  Then I heard Michael (the youngest son) talking and it got louder and louder and into the bathroom he went.

Now normally that would be okay.  We keep it pretty clean and I had extra cleaned it the day before.  Then suddenly I remembered something and I was totally horrified!  HORRIFIED!!!  I was cleaning out a pot earlier.  It was full of brown, lumpy, thick beef gravy soup.  There was too much for one flush so I put in half, flushed and put in the rest.  It splashed around, (which pissed me off cuz the toilet was no longer clean) and it truly looked like someone had had the worst runs possible.  I left it because the toilet was still filling.  I figured I would flush and clean it later.  And now.....HE WAS IN THERE LOOKING AT IT!  And there is no way he would know that it was beef stew, and not ...well....you know.

A TRIP TO COSTCO, I FELL ASLEEP AT THE TABLE WAITING FOR BILL!


I risked being looked at and left the bathroom, found Bill, quickly told him to make sure he explain and I tore back into the bedroom, just in the nick of time!  He did tell him and explained what it was.  Usually they use April's bathroom but later when I was down there I went into her loo and would you believe it!? She had emptied a large bottle of salsa sauce into hers and had to leave it while the toilet filled and hadn't gone back.  I won't even describe what that looked like.!    TTYL!

THIS IS WHAT I LOOKED LIKE ONLY HAIR ALL OVER THE PLACE AND NO TEETH