'BIN A WHILE

Wow!!  Its been a while since I posted.  We have had such a busy awesome time.  Sometimes when Christmas finally comes after all the planning, work, cooking etc….it seems to pass so fast.  This time though people stayed long enough for it to feel like we really had Christmas.

There was lots of food, presents, outings, games and laughter for days…I think I like being over here.  When people have to travel and sleep over, they tend to stay longer…which is great.  Aryn and Bradley were here for four whole days.  Kevin and Tandy for six.  Monte has been here for ages.  I love it.

The K & T family spent a lot of time in their rooms….sick.  Which really sucked.  They got sick on the way down from OK Falls and didn't really get better til leaving time.  But they were able to have a Christmas eve with us and Kevin played some games and the kids got better so we could play with them.

There were a few highlights and low lights as usual.  When April opened her pussy willow (real pussy willows too) earrings, she yelled "Holy Crap!!  Pussy Willow earrings!!  Real pussy willows too!  I love these pussy willow earrings."  Fenton immediately piped up "Thats a bad word!'  We all looked at each other in amazement!  How and where would a six year old find out the saucy word for vagina???  An awkward explanation on how there is a right time to use the word 'pussy' was about to ensue when he piped up again…"we aren't supposed to say crap."  Alrighty then!!  He had all of us going for a moment!

A couple of days later K & T left for two days at a cabin on the ocean…to get a break.  The first morning I decided to let the kids watch Magic School Bus on netflix on my computer.  I set it back on the table and gave them their breakfast to eat while they watched.  After a while Fenton yelled "Gma!  the battery died!"  I thought, "that's odd…it was fully charged a few minutes ago"  I went and picked it up to take over to the charging station and guess what poured out of it?  Water.  Lots and lots of water.  A certain little boy's water got accidentally knocked over, right into my second best friend in the whole world.  And it was fried.

I googled what to do, you hear all these things about taking out batteries, burying in rice, etc…but they just said to leave a hair dryer on low on it for an hour.  Which I did and when I tried it after the hour was up Voila! it came on and was just fine.  I did have a wee talk with a certain little mister about instantly blaming his sister for the mishap!

The kids were awesome.  I guess Elise had a bit of a meltdown the first morning they were here.  Spod and I were off shopping as was everyone else except the Kevin family and a sleeping Monte (in the laundry room hahahaha the only place left in the house to sleep)  About an hour after we left I got a very concerned phone call from Monte…saying that there was something wrong with Elise. She was in her room (right next to the laundry room hahahahaha) and she was screaming and screaming and screaming like she was being killed.  I could actually hear her through the cell phone.

So I told him not to worry that there are just times that kids melt down and scream and scream and scream.  Later I heard that she screamed for about an hour and a half and when they finally came upstairs Monte suggested that they may need an exorcist.  That could possibly not have gone over very well but fortunately they both have a great sense of humour and took it as it was meant.  But Monte and April (who had left to shop when Elise started and was still at it when April got home) are still talking about it.  Great birth control I say!!

I got some truly amazing wonderful thoughtful gifts.  This was definitely my year I tell ya!! I got a beautiful giant kenmore mixer from Spod and Monte.  I got a wonderful painting (original) of the Hudson Bay Mountain….right where I grew up in Smithers from Tandy and Kevin.  It is going to be hung in the perfect spot!  I got a ninja blender from Aryn and Bradley.  It is the most amazing blender and I like it way better than that really pricey vita whatever blender.  This one is ten times better.  And I coerced and cajoled Monte into getting me one of those stand up steam iron thingys…like the ones they use in stores.  I LOVE it!!!!  April got me a whole bag of sausages, cheese, chocolate, crackers and Myles got me vanilla…the really really good kind.  And there was numerous other things.  All thoughtful and amazing.  Such a fun night.

So I shall post a few pics here.  Most of you will have seen them on fb.  Tonight is New Years Eve.  I think we will be having a wee bit to drink and watch the ball drop on tv.  There is just Monte, April, Myles and Spod and I.  Tomorrow I am ordering Chinese food for April, Myles and Monte.  Spod and I are taking Andrew out for Asian Cuisine, as Andrew calls it!  I can't wait to see him.  It seems like such a long time.  And now I shall be back to posting a little more regularily!  

COUSINS

ANUTIE ARYN AND ELISE

UNCLE BRADLEY AND FENTON

EMILY DID MONTE'S HAIR

FEEDING THE PIG

CHRISTMAS EVE…RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF US ALL OPENING OUR PRESENTS…HE SLEEPS

HE THREW ALL THAT PAPER UP UP IN THE AIR…ITS ON ITS WAY DOWN

AND YES…THAT IS CHOCOLATE ON MONTE'S FACE

TTYL  

MURDER ON RASON ROAD

I should have called this post "Almost Murder" because I didn't actually kill Spod.  Wanted to.  But didn't.

Kevin and family are coming today.  They have never seen the house, so I would like it to be all done and clean.  Plus there are a million other things to take care of.  I decided that instead of fighting with Spod to get him to do anything on my schedule, I would give him a job that I wasn't depending on him timewise.  In other words, he can get it done on his own schedule, not mine.

Gargabe.  As our kitchen bags fill, they get bundled up and put out the door.  I asked if he would please get them into the back of the truck.  Thats all.  After about an hour, when the garbage had yet to be touched, I did go out armed with big black garbage bags and stuffed the smaller white ones into the bigger ones…cheaper at the dump.  About an hour later I moved them to the driveway, all in one pile.  

A while after that I saw Spod let Parker outside and then Spod went off to the bathroom. Ages later I went to make sure Parker had been let in again and saw he had gotten into the garbage.  I went bouncing into the bedroom where Spod was and singsonged…"the dog spread the garbage around, you will have to pick it up now"  And he responded with this….."Well, you should have put the garbage in the truck.  And you shouldn't have let Parker out."   I saw red, literally, I actually saw red.

I shant go into the ugly details here, but let me tell you that I do believe he regretted that little comment.  Jeez..I got in his face and let fly, listing every single thing I had done from the moment I fell out of bed that morning which included, cleaning up the 'well' (bottom of the stairs), doing the laundry, making up the beds in the bedrooms, cleaning the kitchen for the millionth time, cleaning up the bedroom and making the bed, making a giant pot of dahl, making banana bread finally, sweeping, washed my hair (shovel list to the power of infinity), took crap to the garage, cleaned up the front of the house, moved stuff around out there so it looks better and on and on and on.  I reminded him that I had offered to arrange for him to spend Christmas in Maui and he declined.  So now he has to act accordingly.  Jeez Louise!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wonder if mothers across the nation are being asked by every one of their spawn "what should I get for So and So." Mothers already have to figure out their own gifts to give the family members but they also have to come up with awesome ideas for those members to buy each other.  The thing is, we DO know what to get them within the giver's price point.  I have decided we should all be called the "Gift Whisperers".  I feel like a puppeteer, whispering into the phone, exactly the right thing that the recipient really really wants!  Its kind of fun.

This year I told my kids I didn't do stockings….but I did.  They responded well to  my statement, but I could tell that in a couple of them there was just a tad  spot of disappointment.  It was so much fun getting everything too.  You watch..now they will decide to read my blog for the first time in ages.  Hopefully not!

I had best go.  Kevin and family are due to show up at any moment.  TTYL

OKAY, I ADMIT IT…I AM BEGINNING TO FEEL DEFEATED

I don't like to admit this, but….its really beginning to get to me…not being able to find anything.  There is no way I can even get to a lot of the boxes out in the G (garage…it has become a palpable tangible enemy of mine)  And even if I could get to them, I wouldn't know where to start.

I really really need my ring note books.  I love ring notebooks.  I can't plan dinners without them.  I can't plan trips unless I have one in hand.  And I can't plan out grocery shopping properly…I like to group the foods in order of the location of the food in the store, starting at the door and working to the right.  When they change the order of things in the store I almost have heart palpitations.  

But mostly, I cannot start a diet without one of those books.  In fact I have a big fatty one dedicated to my Monday diet starts.  Seriously!  I can look into that old ratty book and see all kinds of personal weight charts, food choices, meal plans, date goals…..And now I can't find even one.  This is bad because not only do I have grocery shopping to plan, but menus to work out, new years resolutions to list and, most importantly, the NEW YEAR DIET PLAN.

Now, if you could see (and some of you can and do) how huge I am… you must be thinking "She is crazy…it doesn't work obviously so why bother"  And I say to you, " I am only 300 pounds, without those diet starts and attempts I would be 500 pounds.  So I am 200 pounds ahead," thats what I say.

I have spent a good portion of the morning out in the G wrapping presents.  Maybe I will make an attempt to peek into some of the boxes.  No, now that I am sitting here visually remembering how it is out there I know I can't.  There will be no going into any boxes beyond the first layer.  Sigh.  I shall have to go to Staples and buy more.  I just simply cannot function without one in my hand.

So now I am going to head off to Staples.  Spod will do the driving today.  There is snow out there in them thar hills…and he drives the truck.  I do the car.  When I get back I still have to make all those stupid lemon bars and banana bread for the banana trifle.  So I shall be off!  TTYL

PLANNING PLANNING PLANNING

It is 2 am and I am sitting in bed with two laptops and my ipad.  I just noticed. Hahaha…I have my big one open here so I could load pics of Debbie on facebook.  They are only on the big lap top.  I have my little one open to my recipe box on allrecipes.  And I have my ipad to make lists and notes on.  I am watching Chopped at the same time.  This is the best time of the day to do the thinking that is necessary to have a week of feeding twelve everynight easy.  Some of them are vegetarian which throws a twist into it.

I can just hear my sister now, at least according to past occasions.  I remember one christmas up at her place I asked what I could bring..Its just something we do…we don't come empty handed.  And her response was "oh nothing…I don't know…I haven't even thought about it. On thanksgiving we all were out all day hiking (or something strenuous) and when we got home everyone just did something and it all came together."

  But, I am thinking, someone had to think about the turkey and actually physically get it ahead of time.  And if you want spuds to go with that you have to check and see if there are enough in the bag for the dinner.  And, I don't know about her house but we just might not have enough vegetables or yams or gravy stuff or cranberries or homemade dessert (which has to be thought about, shopped for and made).   And I don't have a big splendiferous kitchen that can accommodate more than one or two people working.  There is no way its just "going to come together" without there being some organizing and activity on my part. Maybe she was just trying to make a point that I think about food too much.

And this could well be true.  I do think about food a lot.  I love planning it, and shopping for it, and cooking it and making my family and company really enjoy it.  This is something I have done, happily and successfully, since I was about 12 years old.  Whilst others were out saving the world, educating the world, cleaning up the world, entertaining the world or whatever, I was happily at home in my kitchen whomping up something yummy…preferably to share.

So here I sit, contentedly going through all the recipes, planning a weeks worth of food for everyone, making extensive detailed organized shopping lists and planning where to put it all in the garage!  I love it. 

Monte arrived tonight, looking good and loaded down with presents and laundry.  After unpacking he invaded my Purple Room (I didn't realize how tiny my room is and how huge he is) and played his latest compositions for me on the piano.   Its beginning to really feel like Christmas now.  The family is beginning to gather and there are Nanaimo Bars in the garage…nothing screams Christmas in our house like Nanaimo Bars…none of us really like them but they are always there!  TTYL

THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM

I do believe the tree is now decorated as much as its going to be.  A lot of stuff didn't get onto it.  I bought about a dozen little stuffed dressed up animals to hang down low for the kids (and Molly) to pick off and have fun with.  But the giant box of balls that DO NOT have hangers on them (shovel list) and I do not have the patience to hook each and every one of them can just stay in the garage.

I got up early the other morning and made a giant pot of dahl..mmmmm.  When I was in North Van I picked up my favourite byriani sauce in a jar, and with a few additional spice touches here at home, it makes the dahl so delicious.  Then I baked at least five thousand butter tarts.  (well actually only 80) and I got them into the freezer pronto!!  Today on my todo list is to squeeze a bowl of deteriorating lemons and make lemon squares.  And get them into the freezer too!

Now its time to bite the bullet and go back out to the garage, which is not so slowly moving up my shovel list, and move crap around AGAIN, and make room to set up the two tables I need for the wrapping station.  I have learned from Christmases past that there is always last minute wrapping needing doing.  This way too I can get my presents wrapped and into individual piles so I can see what may be missing.

  The only one that I am not getting presents for is Spod.  He does NOT like getting presents and he almost never gets me one.  He says he gets me stuff all year long but he doesn't.  And the couple times he DID get me an awesome present, he would tell me what it was before Christmas eve so there would be no surprise.  Whats bad about this is that over the years the surrounding family would feel bad for me and feel obliged to make it up, and they don't have the time or money for that.  For Spod to do for me (or anyone) what I do for all the family would be way too much work, expense and Christmassy (and not necessarily in that order).

One year, many many years ago when Ape and Monte were babies, a big parcel arrived for me in the mail.  Huge!!!   I opened the box and looked, and there, filling up this huge box, was a beautifully decorated stocking plumb full to the overflowing top of wrapped presents…all for me!!!  That amazing stocking was made up for me by our neighbour in Monte Creek!!  She knew that I made sure everyone had a full stocking on Christmas morning and she decided that this particular christmas I was going to have one too.  Can you imagine???  I couldn't believe it!

And I also remember another christmas, not long after that or even maybe before, I got up Xmas morning and there was a surprise stocking under the tree for me….thanx to Kevin and Tandy!!!  I was so excited and amazed!  And it was so much fun to unwrap!

And then there was last year….those kids of mine filled that really giant stocking with wrapped gifts.  And they were awesome gifts too.  It is just so exciting to open present after present.  And its a lot of work…I know this and unfortunately I have had to tell my chillins that there will be no stockings this year.  Mostly because no one has room for all the crap that goes into them.  So instead I made sure that they would each get a lovely gift christmas eve and a couple of meaningful ones christmas morning.  Nothing bulky or hard to put away.  I just didn't have the time this year and I was way too disorganized.

So now if I keep writing here its going to become even more mundane and I will have no choice but to face the fact that I am procrastinating.  I MUST go out to that garage….and I think I will ask Spod to ream the lemons.  TTYL

HOCKEY AND TREE DECORATING…CAN'T BEAT THAT!

AND THAT WASN'T ENOUGH…SPOD AND I HAD TO GO BUY MORE

THATS THE BOX OF LOSER BALLS..NOW IN THE GARAGE

A FIRE IN OUR STOVE…OLD SCHOOL

OUR NATIVE SUN MASK

IT COULD DEFINITELY USE A FEW MORE BALLS….BUT I AINT DOIN' IT

MOLLY KEEPS GOING OVER TO THAT LITTLE WHITE BEAR HANGING DOWN LOW AND SNIFFING IT THEN SHE PUTS HER MOUTH ON IT AND THEN SHE STOPS AND LOOKS AT US THEN WALKS AWAY…ONLY TO GO BACK AGAIN A FEW MINUTES LATER TO START ALL OVER.

THE CHRISTMAS TREE HUNT

Way back in the fifties and early sixties, my dad would get an axe and off the family would go, looking for that quintessential perfect tree.  My mom would NEVER let my dad go alone.  Apparently when we were babies and too little to haul butt out in forty below weather tree hunting, he would go out and bring back the saddest, scrawniest piece of wood possible.  (According to my mother).  So when we got older and able to brave the elements safely we all went and mother always had the final say.  It was an all day process, we would end up with a reasonable tree and fun was had by all.

Yesterday off Spod and I went to pick out our tree for this year.  Now, I know it isn't going to be the romantic romp through snowy field and copse like days of yore…but this is the first real tree we have bought in a long time so I was somewhat excited.  

First of all, it was raining.  And if you know me, I don't do rain.  It cements my hair into an impenetrable helmut and covers my glasses with water rendering me even more blind than I am.  And umbrellas and me don't get along.  They require patience of which I have none.  So no picturesque rambling through free standing gracious looking evergreens.

We looked and looked for a tree lot, big enough to help with the quaint illusions I had in my mind.  There were none…not one.  We ended up outside Stupidstore, looking at bundled up and tightly tied trees leaning on the wall.  How the hell are you supposed to know what it will look like?  Actually in the end what it boiled down to was which one was not so heavy we couldn't even drag it, let alone carry it to the truck.  And…there was nobody from the store around.  So I grabbed the smallest one, showed Spod and told him to take it to the truck and I would go in and pay for it.

But before paying for it I did an hour of shopping. I am starting to load up on christmas necessaries.  At the checkout I almost forgot to mention the tree.  We so could have stolen it but I am afraid of karma.  So I paid the 24 bucks and home we headed.

I had forgotten about some things involved in getting a real tree to look good.  Jeezus Murphy!!  First the tree needed to have branches on the bottom sawed off so it would fit into the stand.  Spod and saw took care of that (I say so easily).  Then we lifted it up and plunked it down into the tree stand…that had been prepped by Spod and pliers and WD40.  Now here comes the tricky part:

We are old.  We are fat.  We have bad hips and knees.  We don't do floors.  In fact if Spod goes down he can't get up.  I can go down (which I did) but it HURTS!!  We kind of stood there and stared at each other and yet again Spod says "we will wait for April"  This is like the fortieth time he has said this about various things over the last couple of days.  And I am NOT waiting for April.  Thats like giving in to our incapacities.

So down I went, yelping in pain and laying there for a few minutes to recover.  I then got the pliers and tightened the heinously evil metal screw turners.  This was an extremely slow and laborious endeavour.  And…I had to get up off the floor a few times to check to see if that f…er was straight, which it just wasn't.  Finally we decided that it was the tree itself that wasn't grown straight.  We had even gone as far as suggesting that we put a book under one side of the stand to tip it straight and then tie it to the ceiling so it wouldn't fall over.  But..we finally secured it enough in as straight a line as possible.  I got up off the floor for the last time, but I had to crawl over to the sofa for leverage first,  groaning the whole way.

At this point I did give in and decide to let April do the lights.  They weren't home until later, so under the guise of the tree needing time to let the branches settle, we just left it.  And later April did put the lights on.  We need more though so Spod and I are off today to get more.  

Another thing I forgot about…needles.  Needles everywhere.  No matter how much you sweep there are still more needles.  And water.  You have to put water in that thing every day.  Down there.  At the bottom.  Where you have to get down on the floor.  Hmmm…we have TWO fake trees.  I think next year will be a fake tree year.  Unless, of course, I lose that magical 150 pounds I plan to lose one day.  Yeah, I will get right on that!  TTYL  

WHAT WAS I THINKING?

Achhhhh, I decided, in the pursuit of healthiness, that I need to throw more vegetables into the mix here.  Spod and I tend to not make proper meals.  You can tell by our loaded dishwasher…full of bowls and no plates.  As such, we don't eat as many vegetables as we should.

With that in mind, this morning I went looking for something for breakfast.  There was a nice fresh bag of brussels sprouts in the fridge.  So I boiled up a pot, put salt and pepper on them and a dash of o calorie pancake syrup I bought about five years ago.  And I must report that they were delicious.

But…now I have a stomach ache and I feel pukey. They are boiling around in there and my stomach is getting bigger and bigger.  Jeez..and its been two hours since I ate them.  Blehhhh…not doing that again.

It seems today is a Christmas day.  We are going to go out and get a tree and go to Target.  Target isn't very far from us (nothing is actually) and we will be doing some more present shopping.  The kids will be going with us and the back of the truck is empty..ready for a tree.  Once that tree goes up and the lights are on it starts to get exciting and christmassy.  I think I am going to plan a cheesy game we can all play for Xmas eve.  Due to so many of us abstaining from alcohol this year, for one reason or another, beer pong is off!  Plus we have a couple of little kids I wish to include.

And I have started to peruse the recipe sites on line.  Paula Deen is a really good place to start but after seeing the Stupidstore commercials…PC brand stuff in particular, I just may go load up on appetizers there.  My kitchen isn't completely stocked yet and baking is a challenge.   But I do have about five hundred tart shells in the freezer.  Quiches and butter tarts…mmmmmm

Ahhh jeez..my stomach!  I think I shall go now and deal with this…blahhhhhh…sorry  TTYL 

A RERUN

A year and a half ago I sent out an email instead of blogging…we were travelling and blogspot does not work on the ships.  I happened to keep it and was re reading it this morning.  Unfortunately it is still holding true.  So I am going to just copy and paste it here.  'Sigh'


One of my daughters approached me recently to kind of kindly upbraid me for always "putting my self down for being fat and talking about it too much".  She is right.  So I gave it some serious thought and came to a conclusion.  That conclusion is that I don't think I am going to be fat forever (although I wonder sometimes).  And right now, the difficulties that a fat person encounters is kind of amazing in this still skinny world.  There are skills a fat person develops that skinny people just don't have.  And I am really curious how its going to be different when I lose that 150 pounds.  Kind of like an experiment.  So in the meantime, instead of lamenting my ordeal, I am going to experience and record!

The first thing I think I will talk about is FAT RADAR.  Fatdar I call it.  Fatdar is something that one develops when they pass from pleasingly plump to "Can I get through there?"  Right now I am sitting up in the buffet area.  As per usual Bill and I managed to get a table for two right by the window.  A great table but as I sit here I am seeing that to get from this table to the food area I must maneuver through a number of tables and chairs with people in them.  So my fatdar  instantly kicks in. Can I squeeze through there?  or maybe if I go that way I can squeeze through there...or...I will watch and wait until that one gets up and I should be able to squeeze through that way, but then if they come back before I do I won't be able to get back to my table.  And round and round and round the fatdar goes.

Another difficulty we large people encounter quite frequently is in public bathrooms.  When I tipped from large to huge I started using the handicapped loo.  Its bigger, has handles and paper you can reach.  One day I popped into a handicapped stall and was in there for, like, nano seconds.  I am the fastest loo user on the planet.  As I sat there doing whatever for the full ten seconds it took, I saw movement under the loo door.  Silently, two visible wheels rolled into view in the strip of space under the door, and rattle rattle rattle.  A loud aggressive voice strongly and firmly asked “Is someone in there?  You better have a cane or wheelchair when you come out!”

Okay, now I am terrified.  Of a person in a wheel chair.  So I very quickly finish up and open the door.  And there she is, all half of her.  No legs, at least not that I could see.  And she starts giving me shit for using the handicapped stall.  So, nervously smiling and bobbing my head, I apologize…..over and over.  She won’t shut up already!!!!!  So finally I snapped.

“What the hell?”  I yell at her.  “This isn’t a handicap parking space, its a frigging bathroom stall!  Its a courtesy not a law! And you think just because I don’t have a cane or wheelchair I am not challenged?  WELL WATCH THIS LADY!”   I stomped into the stall next to the handicapped one and I proceeded to demonstrate how a fat broad has to actually sit on the john and spread the knees unnaturally wide to the hip cracking point to get into a normal stall and swing the door shut again. Either that or stand on the damned toilet, especially in those stalls with giant toilet paper dispenser machines on the walls inhibiting knee spreadage.  She sort of sat there in a mouth hanging daze as she watched me go nuts then simply rolled into her stall and finally shut up.  So there.  My fatdar now seeks out wheelchairs and canes before using the challenged stall!  

TTYL      ps   I wrote a couple of others too.  I may post them in upcoming non eventful days when I don't have anything to post.

HALFWAY

Well they are half moved in!  Well maybe not quite half, the moving truck comes tomorrow morning.

Spod was up very early this morning, very very early and was off to the ferry.  He got to the house over there at 11 am.  I guess there was a lot of last minute packing, cleaning and loading going on.  Plus, thanks to the assh**e next door, outdoor drain guys were there putting in a 1700 dollar pipe underground.  But soon they took their last step out of that house and off to the three oclock ferry.

I spent the day running around like a headless chicken trying to get all those last minute things finished.  I needed to sweep out their bedroom downstairs, clean the bathroom down there and get their temporary bed made up.  I also got up here done up too.  April was here only once a long time ago and didn't remember what it was like so it was fun getting it ready for them to see.  Myles had never seen it.

I made them dinner…chicken and dumplings.  Nothing like a good old fattening comfort food for our first meal all together.  I went out to the garage to the freezer for the chicken when I noticed a whole load of groceries on the floor.  A LOT!!  At first I thought it was stuff Spod had brought over from North Van the other day.  But upon closer inspection I found that they weren't from over there.

Spod is never allowed to go to Costco by himself ever again.  Yesterday he needed something or other, I think a giant heater for the garage, and he phoned me from there on his cell.  "Do you need diced tomatoes?"  'NONONONONONO!!!!  We have no room, none, nowhere, no room.  No tomatoes.  I have two cans and when we need more we can get it.'  "Well what about mushroom and tomato soup?"  'NONONONONONO…Spod!!!We have nowhere to put that stuff.'  "What about soy sauce…we are out of soy sauce."  'NO no soy from Costco.  I threw out a half gallon we have had for 12 years just before we moved.  I will get a smaller one at Stupidstore."  

And…out there in the garage, on the floor, right in the way what do I find?  A gallon of soy sauce, huge cheese block, gallon of orange juice, tomato soup, case of baked beans, case of stagg chili, a big box of fruit cups, a third box of St Pelegrino, a bunch of bananas and on and on..oh, and a third litre of half and half.  Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!  I think he thinks we are in Bamfield again.  I mean in five minutes we can be at Costco…lets let THEM store our food for us.

Its late.  I still haven't got out there to take after pics and I still haven't taken living room pics.  I am tired and I am heading off to bed.  The next couple weeks are going to be insanely busy ones.  Dogs to groom, christmas tree to get and decorate, presents to buy, food to plan, laundry to get done, gummy stuff to buy to stick to my hobo's ass to keep him from falling off the shelf in the living room, and a million other tiny minute details.  And, and this is a big one, wrapping all that stuff..(you guessed it…shovel list)  I used to love wrapping, taking great pains over the details etc..but now all I get is a colossal backache.  TTYL

ALRIGHTY THEN

Guess what kind of day I am about to have?  It is six in the morning, I am sitting in my bed, I am about to watch crazy screaming black people and trashy mouthy white ones on really bad tv, I am eating breakfast in bed and I do believe I will be still wearing these pj's tonite.  That's right…Spod, bless his heart, is off to Vancouver yet again and I have a home alone day.  What a guy.  April needs help getting a load off to the dump. 

 She has now got the house all ready for the final packing and cleaning.  The moving truck comes on Wednesday so Bill is taking over boxes and taking a final run to the dump for her.  Also, he has the dogs with him. 

 Molly, yet again, needs her anal glands cleaned (?) squeezed (?) or something. If we don't get it done she gets horrible infections.  And…she drags her butt all over the place.  (shovel list)   When we checked out what it would cost to do that and get their shots here in Victoria at a vets, compared to Atlas in Vancouver, we found the difference to be so great that its cheaper to take a ferry over and back.  Seriously!  Atlas is so cheap and fast and really really kind to the dogs.  Plus the dogs know them and don't get so scared.

Well we moved a mountain in the garage.  I will take some pictures.  I emptied a whole metal shelf, threw out a ton and found my knives, uggs and a tiny tv.  Its funny, each time I took the knife to slice open the tape on a new unopened box, I would feel excited, like opening a present, to find what was in the box.  My labelling on the outside was sadly lacking and uninformative.  I never knew what I would find.  It was fun.  Its such a good feeling to empty boxes.  Anyway we emptied the truck and filled the shelf with April's things.

I sat down yesterday and gave this some thought.  Right now, for the past 7 days we have had nobody living in our house except us.  And when I thought back this is the very first time in all our 26 years, Spod and I are living all by ourselves in our house.  We have never ever lived alone before.  Now its only for a week and a half, but its a really strange experience! 

 We can do things that we have never ever done before….like I can walk naked from the bedroom, through the house to my bathroom.  Naked!  This is NOT something I would ever do when people are in the house…even if they weren't home!  And when I do this even I close my eyes.   And I can leave the bathroom door open whilst in use…to talk to Spod at the same time (Spod isn't allowed to do that though).  I can keep the heat in the house at the level I like and not think about anyone else.  We can thump and bang on the floor to our hearts content.  We can yell at each other as loud and meanly as we like and not worry about upsetting the 'kids'.  I can play my music as loud as possible without being judged on my selections.

But, all in all, I prefer having one of them downstairs.  Its just more natural to me to have a kid around.  And over the years of having one or the other living downstairs, we have learned how to leave each other alone at the right times.  

There is one thing I do believe we will have to address.  Spod drops things, on purpose.  He can't bend over very far so anything he is 'placing' on the floor gets dropped from about four feet up.  And because he is deaf, he has no idea how loud that is (nor does he particularly care…the darkside of Spod).  Thus…we need to get a rug, a really big rug to put down on the bedroom floor.  April's bedroom is right beneath us.  As such, I have been not allowing Parker in the bedroom…to cut down on dog hairage.  We have no carpet/rug anywhere in our houses because of that endless clouds of dog hair.   But because we paid a fair amount for the wood flooring in here, Spod doesn't want to cover it.  I mean really!  If he was quiet, and didn't get up to go to the john five times a night, thumping all the way, it would be okay.  So, Spod, I know you read this, I had a convo with April and we voted and you lost.  Sorry!  We will be rugging the bedroom…soon!  You will love it though…it will be warm on your feet and you like that.

So I shall post this.  Its getting too long.  Next post I shall put in some pictures of the garage and also new ones of the living room.  I finally caved in and embraced the native….things are very different in there now and I shall show that next post!  TTYL

GARAGE TIME

The last trip over to Vancouver we took all our flattened boxes to a friend who is moving.  But first I asked both Andrew and April if they needed boxes.  They both said no.  Andrew has moved and he was right…he didn't need boxes.  He used garbage bags (which in our family we call Snell luggage) but Doods texts me yesterday…"I need boxes!"  Jeez!!  The good thing though is she says she needs about a dozen of the medium size…which is giving me great motivation to empty 12 boxes in the garage.  Dump! here we come!!!!

It is now 12 hours later.  Groan…..my back hurts, my hip hurts, my arms hurt, my horse hurts…..There is just no way to clean garages and not lift crap.  I can't believe I moved all that shit over here just to throw it out.  What the hell was I thinking?  

I had about eight full garbage bags of clothes, full to the top, in Monte's old bedroom closet.  It was full of sentimental clothes, too small clothes, indecisive clothes, 'matronly' clothes and clothes you wear once and then you just aren't comfortable in them….those 'what was I thinking?' when I bought them clothes.  And if you want to donate them…well forget it.  I would have to open each bag, agonize over each item yet again, check to make sure the dog hadn't peed on any of them, make sure they all have buttons blah blah blah.  No.  Its just easier and faster to not look and just throw them away.  And thats what I did.  I certainly got April her boxes and made room on shelves for her boxes.

Now its almost Jay Leno time.  George Bush is going to be on.  Now I am no GB fan politically but man I love watching him being interviewed.  There is just something about him that fascinates me.  I have never figured out what it is but I love watching him.  I think its the way his shoulders go up and down when he does that goofy laugh.  So I am going to go to bed and play peggle and stop to watch GB when he comes on.  Nite Nite  TTYL

THE NEIGHBOUR THAT CAME OVER AND WELCOMED US TO THE NEIGHBOURHOOD THE OTHER DAY BROUGHT THIS TO OUR DOOR TODAY…THATS PEPPERMINT BARK IN THAT THERE BAG  (OR WAS)

HAHAHA…I COULDN'T FIND THE XMAS TREE STAND TODAY…AND NOW I SEE IT UP THERE ON THAT METAL SHELF

SPOD KELLER

Spod has a new last name.  It's Keller…in honour of Helen Keller, who, of course, could not see or hear.  And I can bet her hands were a whole lot more sensitive than Spod's are and a whole lot more competent.

Spod can't see.  He needs a million megawatt light to be able to read even big print.  Consequently he has many many reading glasses a la Costco.  They are every where….in the bathroom, in the bed, in his chair, one on each of the many tables in the house, in the truck, in the car, hanging around his neck, sitting on his head.

And as we have been driving around everywhere it has come to my attention his long distance sight isn't all that great either.  Its better than his near sight but not much.  So….there is an easy solution to this that the other billions of people, unless you are in Cambodia, in this world utilize.  You get a freaking pair of bifocal glasses.

 Yes it takes a few days to get used to it.  Yes at first you have to be careful and get used to the bifocal part.  But, like the billions of other people that buy bifocals, you get used to it.  And the upside?  YOU CAN SEE….all the time.

But this has gone the way the hearing aids did.  He will not even consider it.  "I'm going to fall down" he whines.  "I caaaaaaan't" he whimpers.  Real smart….choose to live in a world you can't see properly.  And guess what…he falls down, trips, loses stuff….sigh.

Well, we went and ran a ton of errands today…of all days.  Its snowing billyo out there.  Just when we think we can sell the truck, we don't need it, something like this happens and we are totally happy we have four by four.

I bought four bunches of flowers to arrange.  Which I did and it looked so completely awful I gave up and Spod is out there saving them.  I will take a picture.  No matter what vase I used or how I arranged them they looked bad.  We will see how he does with them.

Right now I have a rabbit in the entrance way, a guinea pig on a chair and a hamster on the buffet.  We don't have a heater in the garage and its way too cold for them out there.  Its kind of nice to have the little ones about again.  Bosun, the guinea pig, is a talker.  As soon as he sees you he starts chirping away until you throw him a carrot or something.

Now its time to start the garage….I am pretty determined to reduce the crap out there to half.  Sally Anne here I come.  TTYL

HE DID A GREAT JOB!

SORRY SPOD

If you are reading this Spod, I apologize in advance for what I am about to say.  I had a lovely day today.  Spod got up very early and went to North Vancouver to get a load for April.  He is such a good man.  And that meant…….I WAS ALL ALONE TODAY!!!!!  Ahhhhhh….I lolled about in bed until ten, watching paternity tests and screaming black ladies and trashy white women til ten oclock, drinking coffee. 

 I then leisurely had a bath in what has to be the tiniest bathtub in the world.  I wasn't worried about getting stuck for the simple reason that the edge of the tub only came halfway up the side of my thigh.  All I would have to do is violently toss myself over the side and sheer weight of my upper torso would pop me over onto the floor.  But, I managed to get out without doing that.  Then, because less than half my body actually got wet, I had to have a shower to get clean.  A bit desperate way to do one's ablutions I say.

I ate a couple eggs and then noticed what a pig stye the place was.  I can't keep using "oh we just moved" as an excuse.  So I dug in and started to clean.  I took before and after pictures.  What I should do is take pics of the garage.  It is full to the top with boxes.  I just don't understand what the hell is in them.  Other than the few things I mentioned in the last post, I don't need any of that crap.  I have NOWHERE to put it.  I did have, but with April moving in I kind of lost that space.  Which, by the way, is perfectly okay with me.

Well Andrew has moved :(  He found a basement suite not too far from here.  If he is willing we plan to stay in close touch with him.  We found a Chinese Buffet (his fave) and took him to dinner last night.  I think we will do that every few weeks and keep up to date.  Plus I will deliver dogs to him whenever, where ever he wants.  It seems empty without him coming home and telling us all about his day.

Well Spod is on the five o'clock Nanaimo ferry which means he will be home by about 8:30.  I have already read him the riot act about not just dropping things when he comes in.  PUT STUFF AWAY!!!  Here are some pics.  TTYL

OESOPHAGEAL SPASM OR HEART ATTACK

Remember a few weeks ago I mentioned a trip to the hospital with chest pains and it turned out to be oesophageal spasms (shovel list)?  Well it keeps happening.  I could be having a full blown heart attack and I would be thinking.."gee willikers, my oesophagus is sure spasming tonight….bad"  and then die cuz I thought it was oesophageal spasms and not a heart attack.  And jesus murphy does it ever hurt!  Every night now, as soon as I lay down it starts up and it really really freaking hurts.  And from what google says there ain't a thing that can be done.  Yikes!

We had two burley men and a truck move our stuff down from Port today.  Yay!!!  I now have furniture to put some things on…if I could only find them.  The vast majority of our boxes are still packed out in the garage.  I don't know where crap is.  You think you will remember but guess what?  YOU DON'T!!!  I know what I want but I have no clue even where to start.  And when I open a box and rifle through, they never shut properly again.  And then the stacks lean and fall over.  Maybe I will just leave the shelves and surfaces empty!  My voice is still echoing out there.

Some things I really do want to find.  Like my Uggs.  I virtually lived in those things….gone.  The 500 dollar knives Spod bought that time when I was so freaking mad about it then fell in love with the knives completely against my will….gone.  The decorative stuff that had been on the buffet…gone.  The two lovely ridonkulously expensive cushions I purchased at the National Portrait Gallery in London (one had a painting on it by Klimpt)….gone.  My awesome white filigrayish type swingy candle holder Monte bought me…gone.  All, and I mean all, my bedding…gone.

  But gee I found my old hand crank egg beater, and I found the old hand crank meat grinder from Home Hardware, and I found a hand crank coffee grinder and a hand crank flashlight.  What the hell???  And they were NOT in a box labeled hand crank stuff.  I didn't even realize I HAD hand crank things.  Guess I'm ready for the power to go out.

Now I am off to bed.  I am hoping my OS (which is what I will refer to Oesophageal Spasm Syndrome from now on….if I actually do refer to it again) will not come back.  It really really hurts which is kind of distracting when you are trying to play Peggle in bed on your ipad.  TTYL

HOBOS AND STUPID BLOGSPOT

So I had my whole post written and pictures attached and it disappeared.  Grrrrr!  So here we go again.

Spod got me over to Aryn's by 9 Saturday morning.  We then hopped over to her office, met a whole bunch of people and got organized.  We set up a kind of production line of peanut butter spreaders, jam spreaders, sandwich putter togetherers, putting the sandwich into the baggie.ers, paper baggers, orange and apple adders, chocolate bar into each lunch bag, add the juice boxer, pack the lunches into containers…pack the vehicles…over five hundred lunches later plus a zillion bags of coats, pants, shirts, scarves, boots etc…and off we went to the downtown eastside, in the pouring rain.

It didn't take long to hand all those lunches out along with hot chocolate and waters.  At one point, it was so crowded under the two little tents that were put up, Aryn and Tanya grabbed lunches and hoofed it off into the streets to find those unable to actually either walk over to us or are so mentally ill they don't understand…and there are lots of mentally ill down there.  We treat our animals better than our humans.  The first 'human' we came across was so ill and disabled.  If we had seen a deer or a dog in that shape in that place in that rain we would have been remiss if we had not called animal rescuers.  But because he is human?  Nope.  He kind of blankly accepted our lunch and just sat and looked at it, not too sure what to do.  I took his picture.  Its below.

  I won't get on my soapbox here…but these homeless are not all just drug abusers wanting to be down there.  Not every mentally ill person has a family behind them to keep them off the streets.

Spod came along a while later and picked Tanya and myself up.  We gave Tanya a ride to the north shore (she is sooo much fun) and we then went on to the house.  We visited with April for a while and Spod loaded the back of the truck up with planters and plants and benches.  We were off to Milestones for a soso dinner and back to the hotel room.  A very HOT hotel room. (shovel list)

How is it Spod does NOT understand that whilst he can put on coats and sweaters and blankets, I cannot rip off my fat and skin.  The room was like a sauna and he was still cold.  Meanwhile I am swelling up like rising frigging bread, my blood pressure went from my normal 190 over 110 to 215 over 120.  Next time I am packing his electric blanket…easier to pack than my turbo fan.

Now we are home again.  It was quite a nice day.  We went to stupidstore and did some shopping for Doods (by the way that nickname is short for Doodlebug..which I called April from the time she was born.  Somehow it got shortened to Doods) I also picked up Byriani seasoning for my curries.  In this very white bread (or is the word bred? I always thought it was bread but maybe I am wrong) community here I can't get that stuff.  I also picked up a crapload of shiritaki noodles…almost zero carbs in that magical stuff!!!  We then hit the two oclock ferry from Tswassen and we were home by 4:30.  Now I am watching amazing race and in my fave chair!  TTYL 

 ps…Andrew is packing up his car and he has obviously found a place and is moving :(  I am so going to miss him. I sincerely hope he knows we love him and want to stay in touch.  Just cuz the kids can't talk doesn't mean we can't.  I think we will make plans to take him out for dinner now and then if he is willing.  I can't stand the thought of not knowing him anymore.  Sad….ttyl

WE WERE ALL COVERED WITH PEANUT BUTTER AND JAM BY THE TIME WE FINISHED

THAT YOUNG GUY ON THE LEFT WAS MY BAGGIE BUDDY

ONE OF OUR FIRST CUSTOMERS

YOU CAN ACTUALLY SEE THE RAIN SPLASHING OFF HIS HAT

OFF WE GO

HONESTLY…WE TREAT OUR DOGS BETTER THAN THIS