I THINK I HAVE FOUND IT

I think I have finally found a really strong form of motivation.  Its called pain.  Pain is scary, inconvenient, 'painful', and to be avoided at all costs.  And the 'cost' in my scenario here is going to be food.

I haven't mentioned it too much lately but my hip has become so painful I can't do anything anymore.  I know I mentioned not being able to lift boxes without painful consequences or sleeping in a chair rather than a bed.  But now even walking has become awful.  And dragging around a giant stomach and eating inflaming foods does NOT help.  And I have known this all along, but clearly while the pain was still livable with it didn't seem to spur me  to healthier living.  Such a dumb ass.

So now here I am, glued to my stupid chair, gasping in pain every time I move the wrong way, or try to get up or even turning my head the wrong way.  I now have to add extreme anger to it all.  I am so angry and disgusted with myself.  And not only that, I have become a burden to those around me.  Dumb dumb dumb.

But…I am now motivated.  Every single time my hip zaps me painfully I remind myself to not eat inflammatory stuff (and I know what that stuff is) or I remind myself to not over eat.  I treat those awful flashes of pain as not so gentle reminders of why I need to lose 120 pounds and to start getting more fit.  I am turning that pain into a motivator.  

I apologize for dumping all this out but you can blame my old life coach.  He told me that putting crap out into the atmosphere helps with the commitment.  So as added motivation I am putting it out there.

I sent Spod off today to Costco to do the shopping for dinner tomorrow night.  Cousin Dorothy is coming over for dinner (meatloaf, baked spuds, brussels sprouts and caesar salad.  And…

I think I mentioned that I ended up, kind of against my wanting, keeping the Fitz & Floyd colourful mugs.  I have planned to use them for individual desserts.  So I am making a kind of individual trifles using those little biscuit cinnamon swirl buns, butterscotch pudding, apple pie filling and whipping cream.  None for me of course…and if I am tempted I will just turn the wrong way!!  Haha!!  I love Dorothy!  We shall have a nice long gossip!

All for now.  Again, sorry about the lame (no pun intended) post.  TTYL  ps:  I thought I would include a few pics from the last trip.  Possibly there will be duplicates…but I will try not to.

IF YOU CAN SEE THROUGH THE SMOG…THAT IS AN OPERA HOUSE IN HONG KONG AND THAT WHOLE FRONT IS HAND BUILT BAMBOO SCAFFOLDING.

A REALLY OLD MANGROVE TREE BOTTOM

THIS WAS THE MOST FUN WE HAD ON THE WHOLE TRIP

RAIN RAIN RAIN