DOG HAIR

Man I had to laugh when I read a comment made by Shannon on the last post.  She likened the dog hair to tumbleweed in an old west town!  So true, it rolls along the floor at a leisurely pace, like it belongs here.

Second thing I do after I get up in the morning is grab the broom and sweep up the night's offerings from the old half rotten dog.  And it isn't just dog hair.  Its a lot of scaly skin and just plain old dirt.  You wouldn't want this around if you had a baby.

Anyway, I sweep the dog hair into a pile by the piano.  I leave it there, with the broom.  Periodically I go around the entire area and sweep again.  I just keep doing this all day long until night time.  I then scoop it all up and into the garbage.

Early this evening I opened both doors to let some air through.  Parker immediately got off the couch to head for the door when a gust of wind blew through and…yes, the freaking dog hair, all nicely swept up, tumbled all over the place.  Now, go figure..Parker is scared of his hair.  He doesn't like it.  If I pile it in the middle of the room he scoots way around it as far as possible.  So, just as he came nonchalantly strolling through, not paying much mind to the pile of hair, the wind suddenly skittered it around and rolled it over the floor.  

Geez!!! for a half dead rotting dog he can sure as hell move when he wants to.  He shot straight up into the air, peddled his feet on the slippery floor, fell over, scrambled up, fell over the other way and then, most ungracefully dragged his ass end over to and out the front door, hell bent for election!  And then he wouldn't come back in!  Stupid dog!  Meanwhile his brainless little one eyed sister was cavorting and rolling and snorting all over that hair.  Arrrrrgggggg….I give up!!!!

Well today I managed to get my fridge cleaned out.  I am NOT liking this kitchen scrap thing.  The mini garbage can on wheels meant for kitchen scraps is so gross I want to puke every time I look in it.  When they dump it they leave so much in I can't hose it out anywhere.  I had so many containers and bottles and bags to empty out into that scrap thingy but there was no way I was bringing it in the house.  So I got a small bucket and a spatula, hauled about fifty things out of the fridge and set to work.  Bleeehhhhh!!!!  I brought a recycling container in so I dumped, scraped, dropped a container in the recycling thing, dumped, scraped, recycle over and over.  The bucket was full of cream cheeses, lump cheese, sour cream (mouldy), pickles, relish, leftovers, wieners, bread, mustard, cottage cheese, applesauce…awful awful looking mixtures.  Buckets and buckets.  As it filled I would take it out and dump it into the kitchen scrap thing on wheels.  The garbage guys are going to wonder what the hell I am doing.  

I also emptied out and organized the pantry.  Its looking awesome.  But I know we have a grace period with no fine for putting food in the general garbage til the end of March.  So all those half bags of cereal, chips, dried onions, raisins, prunes, oatmeal, quinoa (shovel list), rices etc….got dumped…right into the general garbage.  

I decided to empty out the lazy susan cupboard.  It isn't built, the shelves are in a box out in the garage.  Its too heavy for me to build so I shall leave it for the next owners to do.  In the meantime that cupboard seems to have filled up with pots, woks, bowls, boxes of keurig coffee things, cake pans etc…  So I brought in a giant container to empty that cupboard into.  All fine and dandy, I managed to get the close stuff out and then I ran into a problem.  I am too fat to get far enough in to reach all the stuff further in.  I got down on the floor and turned awkwardly sideways, and hootched forward and reached in as far as possible.

  Seriously!  I could not get past my chins and could NOT reach all the stuff in there!  So I backed out, pissed off, and stomped into Spod's bathroom and got his cane (which for some odd reason we all leave in there) and came back and hooked stuff out.  You know you need to diet when you don't fit into a lazy susan cupboard.  I could just see me getting stuck in there and not being found until the housekeeper showed up tomorrow.  I think I shall consider keeping my phone on me at all times.

Tomorrow I will finish up the final cleaning of cupboards.  I have a showing already on Thursday and an open house on Sat.  Wouldn't it be a hoot if it sold fast?  I don't think so though.  I think its listed about fifty thousand too high.  We will see.  TTYL

NOT TO GROSS YOU OUT BUT THIS WAS HOW MUCH THERE WAS BY THREE TODAY

WHY ISN'T HE BALD?