A SHORT VENT

I have a real beef with salt and pepper grinders.  I hate them.  I even hate the one in a hundred that does it right.  I hate them all!

I was in Costco the other day and they had beautiful stainless steel grinder pairs on sale.  And once again I was lured.  I mean at home I have one of those giant clubhouse ground pepper containers and a salt pinch bowl and a picnic size shaker by my chair.  They work just fine thanks so why would I try yet again for the Gucci grinders?

I got them home, tore open the endless packaging and gave them a try.  And.....you guessed it.  Neither one of them would grind.  Not a grain of salt or a piece of pepper came out of them.  Fuckadoodle!!!!  And because they WERE twenty bucks, I was obliged to return them.  (shovel list...I hate 'returning things' errands....its kind of like having to retract miles on a road trip for some reason).

Now I am not sure if you know this about me, but I am the queen of epic messes.  I have made some impossible mega messes in my time.  Shook a hot sauce bottle with a loose lid...all over three rooms in the condo in Maui.  Turned on a 'new to me' mixer with a bag of icing sugar in it....covered every inch of the biggest kitchen I have ever baked in....unbelievable, cry worthy, sticky terrible mess.  I could go on, but I won't.

A few minutes ago I was frying an egg for my toast.  Arnie has a salt pinch bowl which I used.  Beside it was a lovely stainless steel pepper grinder, large and half full.  I grabbed it and started to grind...and grind and grind...nothing.  So I turned it over and tightened it then tried again.  Suddenly, you guessed it....omg!!!!  Five million peppercorns EVERYWHERE!!!  And how do peppercorns leap about to every corner of a kitchen?  How? I ask!!!  I scraped them off the egg and ate it but I will actually have to wrestle the vacuum to clean the rest.  And I hate vacuums...a lot of them end up thrown off balconies into my back yards.  Sigh.  TTYL

THIS DOESN'T REALLY SHOW IT BUT THOSE SUCKERS WERE EVERYWHERE ON THAT KITCHEN FLOOR

A VERY DISTANT PIECE OF COUNTER 

NEED I SAY MORE?

THE CULPRIT

EVEN AFTER ALL THAT SCRAPING, ONE STILL STUCK ON MY EGG THUS MY FORK

I am seriously thinking of starting an UNgrateful list.  Screw the grateful crap. This isn't a real blog entry so I don't have to do a grateful one.