What I see in my head isn't too bad. I know academically that I do not appear as I did in my twenties, or even my thirties or forties. But the picture in my head of my face is around what I looked like on my fiftieth birthday.
The same goes for my body. Now, again, academically thinking, I am well aware of how fat I am. But in my head? And really if I accidentally look in a mirror, and only from the front, I don't look too bad and can encourage the mental delusion that I am somewhat svelte and debonaire. So just to recap...my mental picture is a fiftyish, solid, not bad looking dame.
Then eventually I end up in an airplane bathroom. Sitting down in there is okay, my head is below the bottom of the mirror. But the moment I stand up I come face to face, within inches, (at home there is a sink and counter between me and the mirror and I can't see very well so the image isn't too bad) with my face, in its full glory. OMG!!! I have a million wrinkles, brown patches, giant pores and worst of all...an almost beard. Yes! A ton of chin hairs, some of them six inches long! Its like looking at a make over....in reverse! (shovel list)
And when I bravely leave the confines and safety of that tiny cubicle and, head down, scuttle down the aisle to my seat (sideways to accommodate my size) I grab my lappy to distract me. I decide to look at the latest picture dump I did. Only to find someone had got hold of my camera when I wasn't looking (thanks a bunch Kerry) and taken pics of me, something I avoid like the plague. And holy hell! The images there are so far from the self pics in my head, it seems this is a whole different person! Another reverse make over. Sigh. TTYL
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