I remember with both my gramma and Bill's mom being somewhat, hmmmm...what's the word?, not sure, but basically not giving them credit for remembering things correctly or having valid points of view because of their age. Both of them at this point were in their 80's and I feel bad about that. Even though Gramma had dementia, until she really lost it, she knew what she was talking about. I wish I had listened more genuinely.
Now, here, a couple of times the boys in this house have referred to my 'dementia' when we disagree on something. It's really my own fault because I joke lots about having dementia when I forget to shut a door or find something or can't remember an obscure actor in some movie that came out a million years ago. And it's true that as we age our memories get a little slower, I believe because we have an overload of info in there!
But to be told you are wrong because you are old and getting dementia? No. Not even in fun is that okay. I know they are joking but because it's so prevalent amongst our older generation, it's not funny.
I remember at our house many years ago, Bill's family would come for a xmas gathering. There would be lots of us. Gramma, Bill's mom, would sit in the corner and get either totally ignored by everybody or temporarily talked to in a patronizing voice. She was not included. And that was not okay. Especially her. She knew more about babies than anyone I knew. And that woman had more household hacks than the internet and she loved to talk about the family history, so so interesting. This history I can pass on to my kids now. Don't underestimate the older generation people!!!
Graeme is crazy....he is very hard to describe. He constantly makes noises, tells you he loves you, makes terrible jokes (but some are super funny and very clever), he pretend cries..all the time, repeats senseless phrases over and over....I think I would have imploded by now with him underfoot 24/7 except for one thing. Monte. Graeme is very similar to Monte when Monte was younger. Monte has changed a lot and isn't like that anymore and I have to admit...I have missed it, until now. Graeme has brought all that delight back into our house! In fact at least three times in the night the other night, as I lay there awake, I remembered something he said in the evening before and I got laughing..out loud! It will be a very sad and quiet house when he is finally able to escape!
Peter on the other hand is the quiet, far more serious one. We don't see much of him during the day. He goes for long walks and runs, he reads voraciously and listens to music. But the conversations he and I have had are not even remotely duplicated with anybody else. I value those convos more than anything. He is so wise and has the most amazing views on life, relationships, philosophy.....It's only once in a blue moon you are lucky enough to meet someone you can really communicate with on that level. We are lucky to have him here.
And Monte....my darling absent minded, loving, funny in a very different way to Graeme, messy, sweet boy. In many ways he reminds me of Bill...which is awesome. But this kid! He is truly one of the most willing to help people in the world. He will do anything you ask him to...but you have to ask. He just doesn't see it. I have been trying his whole life to teach him to leave things the way he finds them. Dirty toilet? clean it before you leave the bathroom. Made coffee? put away the beans, the grinder, the milk, the sugar twin used papers, shut the cupboard doors....had a snack that involved packaging? throw the packaging away and wipe the crumbs when you are done. It will never happen. But ask him to move crap from the house to the she shed? Hercules will pick up an extreme amount of stuff and move it, happily. I am just happy to have him 'back' and I will take him anyway I can get him:)
I have avoided mentioning books I am reading. The only thing more boring than people talking about books they are reading are people talking about the dream they had. Jeez! But I am going to mention a book both April and I are reading. Its a true brain changing, in a good way, book. Within the first fifty pages you will already be changed...and its written in an engaging, unboring, easy to read way. All I am going to do is give you the name and author and I ask that you amazon it and read the info on it. And if you read it, I will be dying to hear what you think! There! Thats all I am going to say about the book I am reading right now! I hope the link works. If not the name of the book is Factfulness. Amazing. TTYL
https://www.amazon.ca/Hans-Rosling-ebook/dp/B0756J1LLV/ref=sr_1_1?crid=OF74AESAUXXV&keywords=factfulness&qid=1588521342&sprefix=factual%2Caps%2C196&sr=8-1
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