THE VERY SCARY HOUSEKEEPER UPDATE

I noticed Sharri made a comment on the last post about Alice the housekeeper.  We definitely work for her!!!! 

 The night before, right after dinner (or the news cuz I don't eat normally anymore), I scrub the kitchen until its spotless.  I then move into the rest of the house room by room and put away anything that has been moved an inch or two.  I clean the toilets and then check the front cupboard to make sure the broom is upside down (she claims that if you rest a broom on its business end it bends the bristles) and that the  vacuum is out and at the ready.  Oh, and she had better be able to park as close as is physically possible.  She would rather forgo the sixty five bucks than have any of those things not be right.

But, she is honest to god the best housekeeper in the world.  She is fast and efficient.  That woman can clean this place in one hour and fifteen minutes, floors, walls, fridge, stairs, two bathrooms...like lightening.  And she ALWAYS shows up.  Worth her weight in gold!

I sleep right under my rather large window in my tiny tan purple room.  I keep my window completely wide open (there is a screen) and the blinds up.  I love the sound of the wind in the pines and two nights ago I was lying there and the space station slid across the sky like a silent sentinel keeping watch on a sleeping earth.

I am often awake for an hour or two in the night, just laying there peacefully.  You would not believe the things that go on in the night when you think the world is asleep!

A couple of nights ago I was laying there when I hear a heavy truck drive into the main traffic circle for our complex right outside my townhouse.  It was going  back and forth and beep beep beeping etc.  Finally I sat up and looked out expecting to see a firetruck or something.  Nope!  There were cops, two cop cars and a massive flatbed tow truck.

They loaded up a car that was parked in the row of guest parking.  The back passenger door window was smashed in.  I remember in Maui at our condo complex the parking areas were a fave stolen car dump.  Clearly that is what happened here.

Then last night I was yet again laying in my bed listening to the night sounds.  Then I heard suspiciously close stealthy type noises.  Again I sat up and looked out the window and saw a shadowy figure working away at MY JEEP!!!  Oh no you don't you bastard!!!!

I quickly called 911 and reported him while I pulled on shorts and a shirt.  I hung up with the police and tore downstairs and grabbed a hammer out of my tool box I keep at the top of the basement stairs.  I dashed out the front door and the guy, clearly startled, looked up like a deer in headlights.  I couldn't see him real clearly as it was pretty dark but I sized him up real fast and he wasn't all that big and I figured me and my hammer could do a beat down if necessary.  Nobody, and I mean nobody, touches my jeep.  And at that precise moment my hero Wrangler came screaming out of the house, barking like a rabid monster!!!!!  

So both dog and I bolted toward the asshole, me hollering that I was going to pulverize him, Wrangler going in for the kill.  Of course he bolted up the drive and into the traffic circle, just in time to run into a police car entering the complex.  I couldn't stop Wrangler who chased him right up onto the hood of the police car!  Crap!!! I couldn't stop laughing!  I ran up there and got him under control and back into the house.  They cuffed the jerk then came and got a report from me.

They gave me a big lecture about the hammer and going outside.  But I wasn't about to have my jeep diddled with and thats exactly what he was about to do.  Alls well that ends well I say! And I gave Wrangler a great big snack and cuddle.

  What an awesome dog he is.  I will happily eat slathers and  gobs of crow, given what I have said in the past about dogs and me ever having another one!  In fact I am going to be babysitting Molly for a while later in June!  That should be fun.  And I will have Emma now and then too as Kathy and Kerry are going on a trip.  I shall have three dogs!  No getting lonely here!  I will share my crow with them!  TTYL