RUM AND MORE RUM

COOKIE:  I took your advice about the alcohol to heart. I went to the bathroom cabinet and alas! I had no rubbing alcohol. So I drank straight rum, several times. Slooshed it in my mouth around my tongue.  Didn't work. So I hung my tongue down into the rum in a dish.  I left it there til drool ran down my chin.  To no avail. But miracles of miracles when I woke up this morning it was pretty much gone!  And I had a headache.

SHARRI:  I just simply could not bring myself to use that 'c' word.  I just can't.  Even when I am in London, where you hear it all the time, I still get shocked...and I ain't no trembling rose.  I swear like a trooper but even I have a titchety bit of a filter when it comes to 'that' word.

Well yesterday Monte gets the coffee table upside down on the dining room table, all ready to build, which he does.  But when he was halfway through we noticed that the wheels were on backwards.  Sigh!  (shovel list). Very patiently he took them off and turned them around.  He got the first handle on but the second one simply does NOT fit.  There are two holes for each end to go into and one of them is literally inches off!  I am not sure what you do when that happens.  We haven't built the second one yet.  Maybe one of those handles will fit better.

Monte and I had an appointment this morning (Saturday) at the bank.  All we were doing was opening a joint chequing account.  It took frigging forever!!! And by the time we walked out of there he had a folder three inches thick with papers with tiny printed shit we will NEVER read.  What the hell?  And the questions!!!  It was almost as long and involved as what you go through at the SPCA to obtain the privilege of just looking at the photo album of the available dogs.  I mean back in the day you just went to the teller and said open me an account please and two minutes later you had an account.

Afterwards, Monte was still tired.  He is on a new medication that is knocking him flat.  Hope that passes!  Anyway I dropped him off at home  and went behind our house to Quality Foods.  Upstairs above their prepared foods, and little restaurant area is a beautiful very very insanely expensive kitcheny gift shop and a coffee place that is a satellite Starbucks.

I got a ham and cheese croissant and tall latte, sat at one of the comfy chairs, booted up my book on my phone, and felt ever so cosmopolitan.  Here I was, not looking too bad, for me, in a classy boutiquey little place having special coffee and a very French like lunch.

I picked up the croissant, took a bite, and shit!  I forgot I don't have any teeth except very back ones.  Now, at home I can shove my food way over to the side that still has a tooth on top and one on the bottom and gnaw a piece of whatever off, jerking it back and forth until it comes loose.  But in a sophisticated coffee shop full of sophisticated people?  Crap!  And it was too late, that sucker was already in my mouth.  So dripping mayo down my just put on that morning shirt (I wear my shirts for days if possible, now not), sawing that surprisingly, now slimy, tough croissant back and forth til it broke.  I finally was able to gum a piece of it til it was mushy enough to swallow.  I got up and went and got handfuls of napkins so I could cover my face to eat the rest, hiding.  Jesus, I can't win.

Well I haven't heard from the Brick yet about the final price on my stove or when I am going to get it.  I might drive over there and find out.

I have another really quick kitchen cooking hack for you.  I saw this on that Guy's Grocery Games.  It's so good I have to share it, not that I have done it yet.  Better be better than that awful Jamie Oliver one.

You take a squash and cut it in half lengthwise.  Deseed it.  Then you put a gob of butter (come on people...a BIG gob) in the deseeded wells, salt and pepper them and add any other herbs and spices you like.  Slap the two pieces together tightly and wrap it tightly in Saran Wrap.  And then you microwave it!!!!!  Yup!!!  He did two of them for 15 minutes on high.  I am so doing that!  I will take pics and let you know how it works out.

Gotta jet.  Things to do.  COOKIE IS COMING!!!  TTYL

IT'S REALLY HARD TO SEE BUT THE LEFT ONE IS WAY OFF THAT HOLE AND THAT IS A SOLID METAL BAR...NOT BENDABLE