A MIRACLE HAS HAPPENED IN MY LIFE

It truly has!!!!!!  But all men reading this you may wish to not read further.  This is a bit of an intimate  subject so please, if you do read this, don't say I didn't warn you.

I need to preface this post with a tiny bit of statistics.  I have been on this earth 67 years almost 68, but I am going to go with 67.  When I was 12 my awesome aunt who I was spending the summer with, took me bra shopping.  And I ended up with the most beautiful wondrous lace bra.  I was running around lifting my shirt showing it off to everybody.

That love affair with that piece of clothing didn't last long.  It dug into my ribs.  It left deep dents in my aching shoulders and it itched.  But the worst thing, the straps would not stay up, no matter how I tightened it.  And fifty five years later...after seeing scientific bra specialists, paying exorbitant amounts of money, buying extender thingies to ties the straps together, using binder twine and bungie cords to keep those suckers from sliding off my shoulders....I discover nothing works.  Nothing.

So I counted.  120 bra strap pull ups per day, 365 days per year, 55 years, I have yanked those freaking things up 2, 409,000  times.  OVER TWO MILLION TIMES!!!!!!!!!!!! (SHOVEL LIST TO THE POWER OF INFINITY PLUS ONE)

Well I was perusing amazon the other day and for some reason, because I was certainly NOT in lingerie, a bra popped up.  It was the ugliest sucker you ever saw.  Beige. Big.  Wide straps.  Skin coloured.  Extraordinarily matronly.  But three things caught my attention. It was a front closer, it was extra wide under the arms and the sizes were dress sizes....like 1x, 2x, 3x etc...sizes I understand. It was only twenty four bucks so I thought why not?  I could always send it back.  So with very little faith involved, I ordered it.  It arrived yesterday.

And boy! was it ugly.  Seriously!  It looked like an old deflated piece of tenting, only not as sturdy.  So I left it on the floor where it had fallen and stepped over it all day, feeling somewhat deflated myself.  But later, getting dressed, I decided to give it a try.  So struggling, as first time things go, and after a few twangs in the face from letting the extremely stretchy pieces go, and taking forever to do the extremely tiny and infinite amount of hooks at the front (I finally figured out a faster system) I adjusted my lumps and bumps and..............I heard the angels sing!!!!!!!  OMG!!!!!  

It is like wearing a cloud!!!!! And it keeps everything in its place!!!!!!!!  There is no digging in the ribs, there is no unsightly fat overhang overtop the underarm part (all plumpers know what that's like), there is no deep gouge on the shoulders, and best of all....I have worn this thing for hours and hours and NOT HAD TO PULL A STRAP UP, NOT EVEN ONCE!!!!!!!!  I could cry.  I immediately ordered another one and I think I will order another one today.

If you are interested it's called Just My Size.  I would rename it Just My Miracle!!!!!  But I know this post may seem over the top...an exaggeration of sorts.  But I am telling you this truly is a game changer.  You skinny people may not have the problems us plumpers have. You will just have to take my word for it!!  I am so happy!!and comfortable.  Fifty five years of bra hell and it's over.  Yipppppeeeeee!!!  Stay safe and noodle!!!  TTYL

THERE IT IS...MY MIRACLE!