purple room vents: OH NO!!!!!

I just came across an article in one of my news feeds. It's an article titled "Outdated Fashion Choices Older Women Still Make". So being pretty sure I wasn't doing any of them, with great smug self confidence, I decided to read it and see what other old ladies were doing wrong.

Well jeez! The very first one was labelled "Poofy Big Hairdo." Well what the hell? Have they never heard of pin head...thats what happens when you cut your hair into the predictable 'helmet hair'. I remember going into the senior home to visit my mother and seriously! I couldn't find her in that sea of identical helmet headed old ladies. Plus, when your hair is short you fall prey to bed head, every morning. When you have a poof like mine all you have to do in the morning is give your poof a tightening yank or two and your done!

Another one was wearing matchy matchy clothes. Sigh. Apparently mixing patterns and colours is the in thing. I refuse to wear brown with blue, red with pink and paisley with plaid. If that makes me an old lady mistake, well so be it!

A few more just in case some older ladies are reading this:

High waters! If you want to see why I would not ever be caught dead in those take a look at our current provincial Green Party leader. She wears them and they look ridiculous and awful. I noticed too the other day she had a brown high water pant suit on with a BLUE blouse!!!

Long sleeves only. Now come on! This is just mean. Some of us have floppy upper arms that look like oatmeal. I feel we are doing the world a favour covering that mess up.

Wearing nylons or pantyhose. Who does that? You can't even find them in the stores except for Walmart and seriously, who fashion shops at Walmart! I think the authors are stretching it here! No old lady I know wears nylons anymore.

Keeping the same hairdo forever. Whats old or wrong with that? When you hit the one you like, then solder it!!! Speaking of which, I have a friend that shall remain nameless, who wore her hair short, always. And in my opinion it made her look unnecessarily matronly and way too much like her lovely mom. So I convinced her to let it grow out a bit, a little longer. She has the most beautiful curly hair. She did and it took ten years off of her. I totally envy her hair!

To quote the authors, "Chunky jewelry screams old" or as I say, screams old lady real estate lady.

Chunky white velcro runners. Well come on. Now you are talking about OOOOOOOLD women, not older ladies. Really old women need easy dressing sometimes. I think this one was another stretch by the authors.

No wearing your jacket or sweater around your waist. Well I haven't been able to stretch the arms of my jackets around my waist for about thirty years.

No heavy black eye makeup...raccoon eyes....I have never seen anyone older than 17 or out of New Jersey wear raccoon eyes. Never.

Short silk scarves tied around your neck. Apparently you aren't fooling anyone.

Haha! I love this one....pearls. No pearls. No pearls at any age not just older women. Pearls are OUT!!

Clunky, squared off, short handled, beige, black or dark blue hand bags. I totally agree with that. I stick my phone in my left side bra and a small wallet in the right side. Who needs a purse anyway.

Gloves. Oh come on! Who the hell wears dress gloves anymore? They don't even make them. The authors are sliding back into OLD lady area, the ones that dig around in the back of their underwear drawers and find gloves from the fifties.

Okay, this one is ridiculous. No wearing high socks and short shorts! What? Again, knee socks are NOT sold anymore. And short shorts? Old ladies don't even wear shorts never mind a daisy duke!

Now here is another one I totally am on board with. No elastic waisted trousers! Especially tan ones. With a blue long sleeved blouse with a very high neck. hahahaha!!! Velcro shoes, pearls, poofy hair and a boxy purse. Egads!

I have added a few visual aids below to help with the article's points. Stay safe, noodle and DO NOT WEAR PEARLS!!!! TTYL