I knew I was getting my jeep today. And yesterday around noon, instead of feeling excited, I started to feel a familiar feeling. It was the same feeling I got before flying to Maui, a real strong feeling of dread. And, like then, I put it down to the wrong thing. Back then I thought it was because I hadn't flown for a while and I had backslipped to a little uneasiness about getting on a plane. I don't like flying. And I was wrong. Yesterday I put it down to just having to take care of insurance and going and getting my new jeep all by myself for the first time. Seemed pretty silly but what else could it be.
This morning the feeling was even stronger. I finally left the house, armed with cheque book and insurance papers, in a very empty vehicle. As I headed down the road I felt worse and worse and sad. Finally, I parked in the insurance place parking lot and much to my total chagrin and horror, started crying. It was then I realized that this little car was the very last thing I shared with Bill. I don't have a house we shared. I don't have any chairs we shared. I don't have the bed we shared. Jeez! I had no idea whatsoever that parting with that little car we shared would be so damned difficult.
I sat there in that parking lot totally unable to quit crying. It pissed me off. Finally I put really bad music on the radio...that brought it under control pretty quickly! Finally I was able to get out of the car and head into the place. And then something magical happened. And it would only happen here in Kamloops.
The place the dealership sent me to is a small mom/pop shop...auto glass and car wash. I stepped into the wee office and there, standing right in front of me was a lady that I recognized. She is part of a family that our family basically grew up with from the time we were in Smithers when we were tiny kids. They belonged to that very strict quakerish religion we had belonged to when we were very young. Belonging to that religion creates an unbreakable bond, even if you no longer belong.
She is about the sweetest loveliest person you could ever come across...very much like her mother used to be. Her husband and son (24) worked there with her. And she was just so excited to see me and by the time we were through catching up and visiting, I was completely fine and over it. Its like Bill or my mom channelled down through her and just comforted me. Sounds silly but thats what it felt like.
I sallied forth from there and got me my new jeep!!! And its a beaut!!! The steering is insanely sensitive and I have to be careful, but I am getting used to it fast. I have it parked in the garage with the inside door open so I can see it as I walk down the hall. Its a little surreal, I have thought about getting that jeep right from the moment I decided I would be moving here to Kamloops. Happy!!
Monte and I took it for a spin up Lac Le Jeune road. First we took the roof off. It drove well, noisy, but huge fun. I think I am going to enjoy this one! And it comes with bluetooth, a huge screen which is totally voice activated, one year subscription to serius radio, and a dvd player. The seat goes way back so I can sleep in it if necessary, and I hope it will be somewhere along the line!
Well, I am exhausted. I came home today to a dog that spread garbage everywhere, a garbage I didn't think she could reach, and dog poop on the floor. She was NOT home that long. And she probably barked the whole freaking time. This is getting old really fast. Oh well, could be a lot worse. My house has not burned down in a wild fire. My heart goes out to those in Rock Creek tonight. TTYL (sorry to my face book friends...same pics)
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| THROUGH MY OPEN HOUSE DOOR TO THE GARAGE |
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