Sunday, August 9, 2015

ON THE TRAIL AGAIN...THE DIET TRAIL

My apologies in advance, once again I am going to attempt some weight loss.  So I am pretty sure that talk about fat people and dieting is pretty mundane and boring to a lot of you.  So just don't read this post.  Skip it.  I will truly understand.

Monday is coming.  I have a spiral notebook at the ready.  I have a plan.  I have new batteries in Old Dusty, the scale.  (I call it dusty because there is always bath powder on it.  It looks like a cocaine party gone wrong)  And I have a whole day of final eating bad stuff before the games begin.  All of these things are the diet ducks all lined up and ready to go.

Moving to Kamloops has undermined my motivation a tad.  There are actually a fair amount of actual fat women in this town.  I am not used to this!  In North Van I was definitely the fattest one there, or at least it seemed so.  On the cruise ships I was the fattest one.  Back in 2008, when we first started to cruise, it wasn't so.  But as the years went by the cruisers got thinner and healthier.  The gyms got bigger, not the people.  Even in Victoria I was still usually the chunkiest person in the room.

Not so here in Kamloops.  There are fat ladies everywhere, fatter than me even.  I watched a lady come out of Cora's this morning as I sat in my car waiting for Kathy and crew to arrive.  Her lower half was so massive and moving as though it had a life of its own.  I couldn't take my eyes off her.  Everywhere I go in this town there are big fat women.  I love it!!!  I don't feel so out of place here.  When I go to the fat lady store its full...of fat ladies!  Not just one or two pleasantly plump women, like the store in Vancouver and in Victoria.  And the store here is loaded with 6X clothes...down south? not so much.

So if blending in was of huge importance to me, I would feel comfy here with my hugeness and forget about dieting.  But unfortunately blending in is the last thing on my list.  What IS important to me is to try to get my blood pressure down.  I'm pretty sure losing weight isn't going to make one whit of difference though.  Back when I tried dr. Bernstein diet (the most difficult evil diet I have ever tried) I did lose a lot of weight.  A LOT!  They take your blood pressure every day and every day they freaked out.  And no matter how much I lost it never went down.  But I have to try again.

And I guess the biggest issue I am not looking forward to is having to watch every frigging bite I take.  Right now the weight I am never really changes.  For some reason I got really heavy just before going to Maui last time.  But when we got back from there I dropped about twelve pounds and no matter what I eat I just stay the same.  I like that!  250 pounds is obviously my body's comfy zone.

Lets pretend for a minute that I actually lose a hundred pounds.  What do I have to look forward to with all that weight loss.  Let's see.....

First of all clothes will be easier to buy but...how good are they going to look on an old broad dragging her skin on the ground behind her...for sure I can tell you that the snap crackle pop in my outer epidermis has long given up the ghost.  No snap there!  My deflated chins will allow skin to sag down and flow over my turkey neck...its already doing that whilst I am still fat!  My bazooms will deflate and look like a golf ball dropped into a nylon stocking!  I will always have a cushion tucked under my arm for sitting on...skinny asses hurt, I remember.  And speaking of arms, oh boy!  They will be like deflated bat wings!  I will have to roll up the underbelly of those upper arms before putting on a sweater.  Well you get the picture.  Something to really look forward to right?!!

But, its gotta be done.  Blood pressure, strokes, heart attacks....all become a lot more real when you are 62 and overweight.  I am presuming I would be a lot healthier...if a lot uglier.  Sigh  (shovel list).  I'm not sure exactly when that happened...when weight loss became more about health and less about looks.  Its funny...looks was a much stronger motivator!!

So wish me luck and I promise not to dwell on it too much here.  Tomorrow I will post a catch up post on all the doings that have been going on.  Its been busy and lots of fun.  TTYL




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