NOT SUCH GOOD NEWS

I had a feeling it wasn't going to be good.  My blood pressure came down a tiny bit.  He has doubled up one of my pills.  My A1c...the 3 month average blood sugar count was 10...which is out of control terrible.  My liver is fatty, just like me, and its ..whatever they call it, is elevated.  But the scariest one to me is they found blood in the...you know where, sample.  Thats how they check for colon cancer.  So now I am lined up for a colonoscopy, sometime in the next three months.

On the good side, my kidneys are good, thyroid good, cholesterol good, heart function good, calcium and everything else is good.  

So, some of that I control.  I pick up my blood testing kit today and I shall start keeping track.  No more denial on that front.  As for the blood pressure I have cut way down on my salt, almost eliminated coffee and I am going to start walking.  Thats about all I can do about that.  As for whatever is scaring the crap out of me with the colon stuff, I don't know what to do.  I am hoping I run into someone who has had a colonoscopy and is willing to talk about it.  I am one of those people that needs to know everything before doing it.  One thing for sure...I am NOT googling any of it!

The doctor was a real prick this time too (pardon my French).  He was already cranky when he came into the room.  He was in mid yell at the last patient when he stormed out of her room and into mine.  He started to, quite nastily, go over my results with me.  If I tried to ask a question he would abruptly stop talking, roll his eyes and turn away as if he was saying "if you aren't going to listen then there is no point in my talking".  But he wasn't explaining anything or discussing what can be done about it.  When he got to the stool sample part, he bluntly said there was blood in it and I am now on the colonoscopy list.  So I tried to ask about the reasons for the blood, what is likely, how long for the test (and at this point I was freaked right out), and he once again rolled his eyes and copped a really impatient 'tude.  That was it.  I got mad.  So I yelled, and I really did yell, "LOOK! YOU MAY NOT WANT ME TALKING BUT I NEED TO KNOW.  YOU ARE SCARING ME AND I NEED ANSWERS.  THE LAST BLOOD IN STOOL SAMPLE I KNOW OF WAS MY HUSBAND'S AND HE DIED TWO MONTHS LATER!!!"  He kind of backed off at that point and told me not to worry about it until we have a diagnosis, sometime in the next three months.  Sure.  I'll get right on that.

Anyway, on to happier things.  I had the most delightful visit from Maureen, Leanne, Chris, Faith and Jenna.  I tell you, when I opened that front door to that precious awesome bunch of women, it was magic.  The next couple of hours was warm and funny and incredible.  I just love those people so much.  Faith, Chris's daughter, bless her, went out and brought in her piano books, sat right down and played for a while for us.  She plays beautifully.  What a treat!  Jenna, Leanne's beautiful daughter is into sports.  You could tell...she is tall and willowy and in total great shape.  But so was Faith!!!  I can't begin to explain how very special it was to have us all in the same room.  Kathy came up too.  When Leanne and Chris were babies, they lived next door to us in Westsyde and Kathy and I babysat them a lot.  We loved them and bonded with them in a way that can never be broken.  And all through the years we have watched them grow into amazing women.  And Maureen is just one of those friends that will be in my heart til the day I die.  This little reunion would never have happened if I hadn't moved up here to Kamloops.

So now its a beautiful sunny day.  My brother flies home from a month holiday at the condo in Maui. He has found someone that can clean the condo when needed, bless him.  I have been needing someone.  And at 11:30 today, I leave to go pick up Kathy and Kerry and take them to the airport for their one month stay at the condo.  I envy them!  I am not going to be able to go on my trip to Cuba but I intend to make some pretty big changes over the next three months, before my trip to Mexico in April.  And it starts today.  My holiday times are coming, just not yet.  And knowing what they have lined up over their in Maui, they are going to have a wonderful time.

Now I had best get dressed and get going.  And I again am going to make the promise that this blog will not turn into a 'health' forum.  I shall keep mention of all things health to a minimum.  But thanks for letting me do an initial spew.  I am still scared, but I know that will die down as time goes by.  I've been through this before.  And if anyone wants to share their experience, please please email me.  I would be so honoured to hear your stories, the more I hear the better I feel.  TTYL

(it's times like this that I miss my Spod the most.  He was so comforting and steady.  I would go through times of fighting with him and being distant but the minute I got scared about something or had to deal with a medical anything, I would run into his arms and bury my head in his armpit and feel safe.  I miss him)

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