SOLITUDE

I love those reality shows on tv about the people who live off the grid, usually way up by the north pole or waaay out in the bush, trapping and surviving or running really remote fish and hunt lodges (the lodges are NOT pretty, old converted containers).  I am not sure what is so appealing to me, ha ha, but I live vicariously through those intrepid people.  One couple actually has their baby out there with them!  I am smart enough to not put that life style on my bucket list but I sure do love watching others!

So today at the end of one of the shows, 'The Boonies', the rusty crusty narrator quoted a Henry David Thoreau quote.  Believe me I NEVER do quotes, I am just not that person.  But this one struck a very strong cord in me:  "I love to be alone.  I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude."  

I guess that is part of the allure of those shows.  And at the risk of getting really boring here, I am going to mention one observation or conclusion I have reached regarding solitude.

If you can be totally alone, no matter where you are, and be content and happy, you have the power.  So many things scare so many people in this world.  And it is shocking to me how many people have never lived alone, not even for a week.  And its also shocking to  me how many people fear it.  Its true you need to be able to face yourself and any demons you have hidden inside.  You have to be able to go through the scary or tough or sad times with yourself.  No dependency. Autonomy is power. 

 Creating a safe environment and enjoying it is one of the most important things my self help books from the seventies taught me.  (and the Amway selling course Mom put us through when I was 12...made a profound change in my brain...self empowerment)  Now I know I have Monte living here but our lives barely intersect.  I see him briefly, maybe if I am up, at three in the morning when he gets home.  If I need a moderator and everyone does now and then, I phone April or Aryn.  They validate my final decisions on things...if I need validation.  I also use my awesome beloved sister...and her husband. I am really missing them right now.  They are in Maui for a month.  I will be happy when they get home.

My final observation:  Solitude doesn't argue with you.  You are ALWAYS right!!!!  Hahahaha!!!

I forgot to mention that I got a phone call last week from the colonoscopy nurse for the half hour over the phone interview.  It actually took forty minutes.  At the end she confirmed my address....the one in Langford!!  I went 'What the heck?'  Turns out they sent the form and info to Victoria!  So now on March 1st I have an appointment to do it all over again with a nurse from Kamloops!  I got a lot of info from her though!  I'm still scared of the outcome.  I'm okay through the day but in the evening I get that sicky nervous feeling in my stomach.  I hate this.  I just want it to be over and be okay.  And I haven't been back to the doctor yet.  Monday.

 My blood sugars are consistently down in the fives, I am aiming for the fours.  I watched an interesting presentation by a Dr. Jason Fung.  I think its one everybody should watch.  But one thing he said is your liver is the sugar canister of the body.  When its full and spilling over, that spill over then gets spread out throughout the body, causing irrepairable damage. So having a low sugar number isn't the cure.  Emptying that canister and keeping it empty is the cure.  So that means a period of time with low to no carbs in your diet and low complex carbs for the rest of your life.  So interesting!  At least to me!  So anyone who has type 2, look him up.  His site was by far the most valuable info I have ever got.  Sorry for the ridiculously boring post.  TTYL