A few minutes ago I was sitting here in my chair, reading a book online. Happy. Content. Eating a Weiner sammich. I finished the sandwich and put the plate to the side, briefly listened to what was happening on the tv, it was funny, laughed and boom! My upper teeth flew right out of my mouth and landed on my laptop keyboard. I know they are somewhat loose but to fly out of my head? I sat there for a wee while, just staring at them in disbelief!!!
What if I had been at an important appointment and that happened? What if I was at a lawyer's office, discussing a very important will and my teeth falls out of my head? What if I was leaning over to flush the turlett!!! Oh God!!!! Does this mean I have to start using tooth glue? Damn!!! It's always something!!!
Back before laptops and internet, and only two channels on tv, I used to buy those mixed puzzle books. My favourite by far were the cryptograms. The quotes and sayings were in code and you had to crack them. You really needed to understand the rhythm and patterns of English to solve them.
Well, I ordered a couple of cryptogram books from Amazon. Nothing but cryptograms. And, quite smugly, I just knew I would be amazing at them, especially compared to forty years ago. Now, I play scrabbley games on my phone and have tons and tons more experience with words and word patterns. And I am super good at Wheel of Fortune!
Yeah. Right. Maybe not so much. In fact it's so hard I found out, on number one no less, that it isn't even so much fun because it's so hard. What happened???? I used to be pretty good at this!!!
But I am persevering and I am now up to number ten. The quotes are pretty cheesy and mostly I solve them by figuring out the name of the writer. They always put that at the end of the quote. And they are pretty easy to figure out...Mark Twain, Albert Einstein, Robert Frost. Those are all the letters you need to get started and solve the puzzle.
But then my eyes are so bad now I actually had to move the lamp closer to my chair, put it on the left so my hand didn't shadow the writing, and even then try to keep the guessed letter over the code one. Jeez it's a bitch getting old.
Speaking of which, I remember going into my Mom and Dead Bob's condo. Everywhere in the bedroom, bathroom and living room there would be pills on the floor. Like did they even get enough in their system? It was mostly Dead Bob's pills. I was thinking pretty scathing thoughts I must admit.
Well, now, I am totally relating and feeling bad about my thoughts back then. I swept my floor and swept up enough pills to last another month. They come in explosive blister packs that explode everywhere. Sometimes pills get shot all over the place when I push them open. Just another sign of living large at almost seventy!!!!!
For the next few posts I am just going to include a quote from my cryptogram. You can see..they can be pretty cheesy! Stay safe and happy. TTYL
'A person's a person, no matter how small,' Dr. Seuss Horton Hears A Who
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| MY FUZZY SUITCASE....NOT MY PIC |
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