I was taking a gander over my last few posts and I am making the mistake again of getting preachy. That is not what this blog is about. This blog is about crap I see here and there, funny stuff that happens, events, not vents, in my day to day. I write a lot of what I call vents and essays elsewhere.
It's amazing how I can get wound up about something but I don't particularly want to step on anyone's toes so I write those rants elsewhere. The last one was about massive furry coal black fake eyebrows some women are sporting these days...you know the Groucho Marx look but because I know some people that are doing that I refrained from commenting too much about it here. But I sure blasted it elsewhere!!!!
So a happy post. Monte and I went to Nanaimo yesterday. We left earlier than normal and we had a fantastic day!!!! When you sit at home day in and day out, never going out, looking out at constantly fogged in outside, going to town almost becomes culture shock...in a good way. You need shaking up now and again.
What prompted the trip was that I needed horseradish. And I only use horseradish, the real kind, not watered down wussy creamed stuff, from Coombs. Coombs was going to be open til 6 so we decided to go to Indigo, Costco, Fairway and London Drugs first then stop at Coombs on the way home. Indigo was pretty close to the fat lady store, which I never get to anymore.
I needed some new undies to replace some raggedy ugly ones, the kind your mother warned you about not being caught dead in. And let's face it, at my age that rainbow bridge ain't too far away and I want to get there wearing shiny new nethers. Monte kindly stopped for me.
I walk into the place and worked my way slowly to the undie section, trying to keep my blinkers on. Now fat lady delicates are expensive. Generally they are 3 for 25-30 bucks. I get it. They are big enough to make a tent so extra material, extra cost. But the panty gods were smiling on me yesterday!!! They were on sale for 3.99 each!!!! I grabbed three polkadot ones and tried to walk away to the cashier. But there was a massive, beautiful amazing thing that caught my eye. It was hanging on the wall right there......I had to go look.
There hung a beautiful bright pink brassiere!! You couldn't call it a bra... bra is reserved for cute little scraps that the skinny girls wear. This thing on the wall was like a fancy horse blanket. And that, my friends, full disclosure here, is appealing to fat broads that sport ugly fat hanging over any clothing border on your body. It even happens at the top of your socks. Overhang is a real thing people, and us larger ladies battle it constantly. And there was no question that this brassiere was made to contain the overhang!!! Normally it would be in the 80 dollar range, but, I think because it was so massive and indelicate it was unappealing and had become the fullest rack in the nethers department, no one was attracted to it, except me. Thus....wait for it....29 bucks!!!! And it had my massive necessary size. I snatched that thing down and bought it instantly!!!! Happy happy.
Fairway provided us with all Asian condiments we needed and can't get in our teeny town. I don't think I have ever seen an Asian here.
By now we were hungry. We went into a Whitespot and did the usual waiting and waiting and waiting. OMG!!! Half an hour before we ordered, half an hour before the food got to our table and twenty minutes after we were finished eating waiting for our check. Seriously!!!! But....I had the best hamburger I have ever eaten. Monty Mushroom. Unbelievably delicious!!! But we are renaming the place to Waitspot. In the past we have actually walked out of one because they took sooooooo long.
And then Costco. Busy busy busy Costco. So much fun. I had a list so it was pretty easy and for once we didn't eat our usual. The tables were full as I figured they would be and I won't eat standing up. That was kind of why we went to Waitspot first.
On the way home we went to Coombs. Oh jeez!!! It truly is the most tempting market one can go into. So we bought stuff...other than the horseradish all very unnecessary stuff believe me!!! I am too ashamed to list it here.
We got home exhausted and happy. Later we heard thumping outside and sure enough. A big mentally damaged bear, the only one left in town was out there throwing our garbage wheely bin around again. I was going to go out and kick his butt but he took off, defeated.
A perfect end to a perfect day. TTYL
'There needs to be disposable, flammable bras. Like everyday you get home and rip it off, and then set it on fire. And cry FREEEEEEEEEEEDOM!!!!!' I couldn't find the author to that quote.
'That thing where you covertly put your hands in your bra and scoop your titties up in public.' Emily McCombs. (tmi?)
BIG ENOUGH TO WARRANT A NAME.THERE SHE IS IN ALL HER GLORY!!! THE BRASSERIE.
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