purple room vents: IF YOU DON'T KNOW, YOU CAN'T BE PART OF THE SOLUTION

There is a person we know. This person super protects themself from all news or sad stories. As such all of us that are aware of this do try very very hard to keep the conversation banal and free of salty language.

But we that are aware of this have had conversation about how appropriate that is, or conversely, when is sticking your head in the sand cowardly, no matter what your past is. Some of us think that due to this person's past, it is forgivable. Others of us think it's pretty self indulgent. (shovel list) Life deals some pretty tough stuff at times. And frankly, if there is any way the collective population is aware, there will be a much better chance of a solution.

And the other consideration is how much conversation in a group is detoured due to one person's likes and/or dislikes. I am not talking about unnecessary bawdy convo. I am speaking of current affairs, happenings, new events, politics etc...It can get pretty stilted and sticky tiptoeing around what suits one person's needs over the general group interests.

It reminds me of visiting a now long dead grandmother. She was little and tiny and ruled with an iron fist. (literally sometimes).

A group of us decided to make an impromptu visit one day. Off we went. It was about two hours away. On the way over we all laughed, told jokes, conversed and generally had a hoot all the way there. We were a mixture of family and friends packed into a big old car.

But....the minute we got there, there was a distinct and amazing (and to me alarming) change of convo and behaviour, even tone of voice. Now I understand one must mind their manners etc when in the presence of older rellies but this particular time it was extreme. All of a sudden certain members of the group became simpering and sweet and anything but genuine. Honestly!!!! It was nauseating!!!! That had better not happen around me! I will make sure I drop the f-bomb right away and set the tone and pace of the visit.

Anyway, my point with all that is I really dislike false fronts. Yes of course sometimes stories are difficult given your past. But we all go through that now and then. It's a choice to be delicate. But you will never see the real person in front of you and you will never be part of a solution to the subject at hand. If you are okay with that...then have at it.

On another note it's been a busy time prepping for xmas, getting the van to Vancouver for Aryn and Bradley to use for the next few months, taking care of longer term issues, like the insurance to deal with the mould and dampness in Monte's bedroom, all the cardboard boxes on the deck, mounds of laundry etc.... But when everything is done I get nervous. And restless. I like having a todo list on the fridge! It grounds me.

Ten days to xmas!!! I must turn my attention to our menu we have planned. A chilli charcuterie board for xmas eve and pick dinner, as Bill and I used to call it for xmas day. As I said before I am NOT making a big xmas dinner this year. I just did one for thanksgiving and due to circumstances ended up doing all the clean up. Unless I am guaranteed help with the clean up right to the finish I won't be cooking a big one again.

On Boxing Day we head to Vancouver with both vehicles on the 7:30 am ferry. We finally found out when the kids need the van so we could plan our trip over. By this morning when I found out for sure, the whole day was full, except super early ferries. Fortunately both Monte and I are perfectly okay with early risings. I wake up every night at 3 and basically am awake from that point on.

I should be super excited to see my kids that I don't see very often, and I certainly am, but I am extra excited to see Leeloo! I am afraid she is going to forget me. At least there isn't another gramma in the picture to compete with!!!! I am going to try to talk the kids into letting me have her til middle of January when I plan to go back for a longer visit. I have a feeling the answer will be no!

Well I have to bounce. I am still sitting in my bed and it is 11:04 am. Monte, bless him, went to McD's and brought me their burrito breakfast...my fave but not my pancreas's favourite. I am now spelling it pancre ass. I hate my pancre ass. (shovel list) Have a great day and feel the excitement of xmas the most you can. It comes only once a year!!!! TTYL

'Confrontation leads to action. Avoidance leads to inaction.' Colleen Hoover, All Your Perfects