ITS GETTING HARDER AND HARDER

I have to admit it is getting harder every night to leave him.  He isn't happy.  He isn't feeling well.  He is sad and lonely.  I hate this.

I did discover that he really responds to head massages and hand massages.  So IF I every get the man home I can do that for him all day long.

The oncologist called me today.  Still no answer to what kind of cancer it is.  Maybe tomorrow.  But he told me 3-4 weeks probably.  Each day will be a little bit worse than the day before.  He isn't eating or drinking so his body is using up what little stores he has left.  After that it will slowly start to shut down :(  The doctor also told me how to use the hospice people.  There is always a nurse or doctor at the end of the telephone line.  They will come to the house.  If something happens we are to phone them, not an ambulance.  I can hire a nurse to come in once a day to help clean him and make sure all his meds are working properly, change the patch and check his vitals.  My personal goal here, only if its good for him though, is to have him die at home in his own bed with his dog beside him.

Today he got a visit from his granddaughter Valerie and his son David.  This made him very very happy.  He and David hadn't talked for about twenty years or so.  Wonderful closure for them both.  And Valerie was so amazing in what could have been an awkward situation.  She is such a beautiful girl.

My awesome sister and husband are here right now.  It was wonderful to have them here, comforting.  They are coming over tomorrow too and we shall go visit Spod again.  He may not get home until Friday, I hope by then anyway.  They are still trying to get his nausea under control.  Sorry, I don't feel too happy tonight.  I think I will have a little more bounce tomorrow.  TTYL