A PEOPLE DAY FOR SURE

A wonderful day of visiting.  Bill and his family came.  My Bill was pretty out of it unfortunately and felt badly about it.  But now and then he would come to and be so happy to see all the people.  Jen arrived with her three boys and my Uncle Gordon and Auntie Orma and cousin Dorothy popped in for a quick hello as well.  We had pushed Bill down to the beautiful atrium in the main lobby.  Its so bright and beautiful and tons of space and chairs.  It was a good long day of visiting.  I took him back to his room around four and they put him to bed for a nap.

Our fave nurse, Cathy, was on duty last night.  I asked her what was likely to happen to Bill, when, how etc…and she explained this to me:  They grade patients by ten, twenty, thirty etc…  When Bill came into the hospice he was around a 40 to 50.  He is now at 30.  When he hits about 20, meaning near the end they will move him into a private room.  That will be my signal to move into the room with him and just stay.

The kids will gather…out in the lounge.  I feel it may be better they not be right there at the end.  Movies like 'The Notebook' and others have misled people into thinking that one just takes a simple final sigh and slips into the other side.  That may not necessarily be the case.  It can be messy, noisy and distressing.  I can handle that but I have a feeling it may not be the best way for his kids to remember him. 

 So they can be near, I can go out now and again and recharge my battery and go back in with him.  I am just glad that by them moving him into a private room we will know when and not have to guess.  He is so profoundly miserable, scared and ready to go.  But the nurse said that in the end it will be he himself that makes the final decision to let go…when he is ready.  Man I wish he could talk more easily.  Anyway I am glad she explained it all to us.

Tonight Monte came and visited with his dad and then brought me home.  Emily, Dorothy, Myles, April, Bradley, Aryn, Monte and I went down to the Log Cabin pub for dinner.  There was no room inside so we chose to sit outside under heat lamps, hockey game blaring over the loudspeaker, in the freezing cold (well not actually freezing, but really cold)and had an awesome dinner and beer. 

 Around 8 Monte and I went back to the hospital to tuck Bill in and show him some pics on my laptop.  I wasn't sure if he would be okay with looking at our Maui trip pics, he misses it so and knows he won't ever be going back.  But he loved it!  Monte and I have decided we are going to do this as often as possible in the evening.  Its a hard part of the day for Bill and this helps.

Monte is playing Moonlight Sonata, all the others are still at the Log Cabin playing music bingo and I am really cranky so thinking I should go to bed before I nail somebody for no reason.  I don't get cranky often but when I do just about everything pisses me off.  LOL!!  The dogs have learned to stay out of the way when I get that tone of voice.
TTYL

DINNER OUTSIDE TONIGHT TAKEN WITH MY AWFUL PHONE CAMERA