HOSPICE OR BUST!!!

I have been getting so many loving supportive messages from so many people.  Its purely awe inspiring and I pass these along to Bill.  You people are definitely the wind beneath MY wings and I know for a fact it is so very comforting for Bill.  When I get home at night I immediately make myself a bologna sammich (mushy white bread and two slices of meat and not a thing else), grab my lappy and open it up and soak up the love.  Its what I do every night before I post on the blog. Honestly I come home feeling sorry for myself, feeling sorry for my kids and Bill's friends, but mostly feeling sorry for Billy…and then I read and feel all the love and enormous support from you people and my whole heart fills right up again.  Thank you.

A weird thing happened this morning.  Bill had not phoned by around ten.  He didn't call in the night either.  I was sitting in my purple room chair here when unbidden, an image popped into my head.  I could see a somewhat bewildered Bill sitting on the side of his bed, looking over his table and out the window.  So, I decided to phone his phone.  Maybe he would notice it light up or see it vibrate, it doesn't ring.  So I grabbed my phone, called his number and HE ANSWERED!!!!  I couldn't believe it!  I was so happy to hear him but he was so distressed.  He told me they were moving him to the hospice right at that moment!  So I told him I would meet him there and I phoned the hospital to confirm. 

Poor Bill.  Its hard to explain, but when you have been in a certain spot for a very long time, dependant on those around you, moving is a very big deal.  When I arrived at the hospice they immediately told me he was really unhappy.  When I finally got to him it was very evident he had been crying.  He whispered in his squeaky little voice that he was 'discombobulated'.  So I just sat with him and we talked about all the nice things about the new place.  Soon two wonderful nurses arrived and made a huge fuss over him and in no time he was being his usual funny self.

A doctor arrived and decided that he should have a saline intravenous…into his tummy area.  This will relieve his monstrous thirst and combined with better anti nausea medication, by the end of the week end he should be at least feeling better.

Monte came down and brought Bill's laptop (look out facebookers….he is going to be back on!!!) and Molly.  Well I held Molly up close to Bill and called him.  He opened his eyes and when he saw Molly his eyes almost popped out, a giant grin and automatically up came his arms and she just melted right into him.  He hugged her close and she wiggled and rubbed and licked and whimpered and was soooo happy to see him….and he was soooo happy to see her.  It was truly awesome.

The hospice is the old maternity building.  And I mean old.  The rooms are small and old.  But its homey.  It isn't a very big place.  The hospice part is only on one fairly small floor.  Most of the rooms are singles but Bill has a room mate called Bernie.  He isn't too horribly old which is nice.  And…he seems unable to get out of bed…I seemed to hear things behind the curtain to do with bedpans…so no more bathroom antics!! 

 There are a number of lounges which is good…cuz there sure isn't room for more than one visitor at a time in the room.  I hope they will be able to move him into a single one day.  And there is a roof garden!  When we get him mobile and in a wheel chair we will be able to go up there and enjoy the fresh air.

Well Myles and April have arrived and off to bed. They are very tired, April in particular.  Such a heavy awful day for her (not my story to tell).  This is just a hellish time for all of them, but this too will pass.  I can feel all our ions and molecules and what makes us 'us', growing and stretching and deepening as this experience unfolds.  I guess you can only sink or grow, one of the two!  And from what I am seeing, this whole little community that is Bill, is growing in leaps and bounds.  Now I am getting ridiculously philosophical…sorry…time for bed.  Good nite folks…TTYL