HE'S MOVED

Well its happened, he has been put into his own room.  Its actually really homey and quiet and nice.  There is a tree right outside the window.  It feels like we are in either a hotel room or a stateroom on a ship…both of which we have spent the majority of our last five years in.  In fact, he is in the bed kind of snoring and rattling away while I watch tv and write.  Which we have done every night for the majority of the last five years.  So this feels very natural and normal and everydayish.

He is not long for this side of our mysterious life.  Two or three days they say.  I think he is waiting for my birthday on the 21st!  I would be honoured to share my birth day with his passing day.  I just don't think he can last that long. 

 And he is so sweet.  When they come to wash him down and turn him over he kind of comes to and then tries really hard to help.  He really doesn't like to be touched or rolled over.  He tries to get them to leave him alone but of course they have to do what they have to do.  Its so hard to watch.  He is just so vulnerable and fragile and undemanding.  The nurse just said he is the most tolerant patient they have.

We had a wonderful visit from Jill and Michael…for those that don't know…she is Bill's niece and her son.  We did some reminiscing and catching up.  It was such a lighthearted fun visit, just what we needed at that moment.

I have moved in here for now.  I am going to just stay and keep an eye on him.  I don't like the idea of him down at the end of the hall here, all by himself and certainly not able to ring the bell should he need help.  So I am just going to stay and watch and ring the bell for him.  I knew I should have washed my damned hair when I had a chance! 

 And I have been singing to him…especially that song Shortnen' Bread.  His mother used to sing it and then he sang it til we were all mad at him!  And I sang a few of his dirty sea shantys too!  He knows I am here.  He has awakened a couple of times and said Hi Mom…and I love you.  Means everything in the world to me.  I am loving these last moments with him by myself.  TTYL