We left the lovely hotel about 8:35 am and headed for home. Due to construction and closed ramps, the detours snaked us back and forth across the river over spectacular bridges through the middle of Portland. It was pretty interesting and a great way to see the city. Then we hit the I-5 and off we went.
The traffic was insane most of the way. There were some breaks but a lot of it was bumper to bumper. And we tried really hard, we truly tried to analyze, but we simply could not figure out why the traffic did what it did. Did NOT make sense.
One thing I didn't mention in these posts was that on every menu in the USofA, and we saw a crapload of them, every single bleeping thing on the menu has the calories listed beside it. What the hell? Do you know how discouraging that is to fun delicious eating? "Yes I would like to order the tater tots covered in bacon and cheese and sauce. Just the ten piece one please." "Oh!!! Wait a minute!! Umm 2,000 calories??? Seriously??? Jesus H!! Okay give me the frigging house salad, hold the dressing and NO KALE!"
Well we got hungry somewhere along the way and started to read those food signs along the highway. We had managed to not go to a fast food place even once on the whole trip except once to at McD's to get a coffee and an ice cream cone. We finally saw a sign for a Denny's. Thank goodness both of us are not elitists and we were quite happy to eat at a Denny's.
In we went and Cook mentioned that she had planned on having one meal of pancakes on this trip. We accidentally found a hidden value menu which Cookie availed herself of. Two eggs, two bacon and two pancakes. 1000 calories. Four bucks. Perfect! Me? Ten tater tots, bacon, cheese, sauce. 2000 calories. Eight bucks. It was so damned good and I even ate about 300 calories worth of Cookie's pancakes.
We stopped at the PacCan duty free and each bought a forty pounder of rum...Captain Morgan for her and Krakken for me. I can't drink Captain Morgan. When Cook and I went to our graduation (well actually hers, I'm a loser and didn't graduate) gradrinkas (bush party for drunk girls), my good old dad bought me a 26'er of Captain Morgan, which I drank straight in half an hour and proceeded to pass out and barf all at once. I was sick for over a week. I thought I was going to die! I really did!
The next day I was sleeping at Cookie's family home, she had gone to school believe it or not, and mid morning Mamma Sidhu came and woke me up. She was doing home sales of bras and I had agreed to buy one. I was big and hard to fit and apparently these bras were the cats ass. So I stumbled upstairs for a measuring. OMG!! I could barely stand! I can't imagine how I smelled.
So she hauls out a measuring tape and measures around my ribs, nipple to underarm, nipple to nipple, nipple to rib cage, nipple to mid back.....I don't remember anything after that. All I know is six weeks later a bra, labelled 38 tripple K, arrived in the Sidhu house. I went and tried it on. Do you remember the Madonna bra? Extreme cone-age! One time I had the bra on and a white t-shirt and I was under my brother's car helping mount an engine. I had done this lots of times. When I came out from under the tips of my...well nipple area, of the shirt were black. Just the tips. But I digress......
The trip through the border went without a hitch and soon we were in Cookie's driveway. Brian welcomed us and helped carry stuff in. We had a peaceful relaxing evening. Now this morning the highway was closed due to a fatal accident. Cookie and Brian had a busy day so they have gone and I am just waiting for the highway to open and the traffic to dissipate. I shall head home soon back to my awesome little home and my doggie. I have super missed him! TTYL
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| AS USUAL I AM HORRIBLE A SELFIES |
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| MY HAIR IS PRETTY BAD BUT TAKE A LOOK AT THE PIC BELOW |
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| WHO GAVE HIMSELF A BUZZ CUT? HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! |
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