OLD FAT BROAD DOWN (A THREE SHOVEL LIST POST)

 

DOWN AND OUT

WAITING FOR AN AMBULANCE, IN PAIN AND TOTALLY EMBARRASSED

This blog is my come clean space, as you may have already figured out.  No Pride Me...that is what I should be calling this blog.  So in light of that.....

Eventually two ambulances had to come.  One was for me and one was to bring lift equipment.  There was no way I could get up...the pain was too much. If I didn't hurt I would have just rolled over, stuck my ass up in the air, pushed with my hands on the ground and hopped up.  But my right arm and shoulder were definitely out of commission.  And there was no way I could roll to the left.  As it was I was somewhat laying downhill, on top of a gnome and now a broken solar lamp. A hanging basket was right over my head and I was perilously close to the wobbly shepherd hook it was hanging from.  

I was carrying a box of stuff and because I couldn't see where I was walking I totally misstepped the final step into the house.  Went over backwards and ended up on two levels of cement and a wrecked elbow, upper arm and shoulder.  I immediately felt incredibly stupid.  And it was super painful.  

Ange was with me and she was amazing!  I would have been completely lost without her.  Monte was still asleep and no way would he have heard me phone him for help.  She ran and got him.  He refused to pull my left arm to help me up, although I would have made it only to a sitting position.  He has taken industrial first aid and you are to never move a downed person.  But he did phone the ambulance.  I wouldn't have.  I would still be laying there refusing.  Too humiliating by far.  (shovel list). But he did anyway.

Then he went inside but stayed right near.  Ange bless her heart stayed right with me, talking me through it and making me laugh.  She was amazing.

As I lay there ants started to crawl all over me.  Ange was killing them as fast as possible.  Then it started to rain.  Jeez!!!!  What more could happen.  Oh yeah!  I had to really go to the loo.  What the hell?

  But due to being head down just enough to make me feel sick, I told Ange I HAD to sit up.  So she told Monte that I was insisting and she was going to help me anyway. So he accepted that and she pulled my good arm and I managed to sit up.  Thank god.

It took the ambulance almost a half hour to get here and they were also amazing.  And wouldn't you know it...she remembered me from the blood sugar low that time and she remembered Ange from when she was super sick and had to be taken in.  This was turning out to be a very ridiculous humiliating day.

As they were working on my ripped elbow, we heard a horrible thud in the house.  Monte stepped in some dog urine (shovel list...actually I want to hit the dog on the head with that shovel) and that humungous guy hit the deck.  When you are that big that can be serious but he only hurt one leg and ankle.  He was okay but.....what more could possibly happen.

The ambulance is equipped with an inflatable thing like a small chair that when pumped up it raises you to chair height and an easy peasy way to stand up.  The pump did not work.  They had to call another ambulance to come and bring the pump.  Geez!!!  Let's just have two ambulances out there for people to gawk at.  ( Shovel list)

Anyway I am now kind of incapacitated.  Every time I hit a key here my right arm screams.  LOL!!!  And walking is a bit of a challenge cuz of my twisted ankle.  And I am starving and needing coffee.  My coffee pot bit the dust this morning.  Sigh.  It just isn't my week but I am fine.  I am about to watch Judge Judy...whom I hate, for the first time in years.  And I am going to think about all the food I can't eat and I am desperately needing a coffee. Maybe I will just sit here and feel sorry for myself.  Nah...Harlequin Romances have taught me that one must not do that...ever.  

That's it for today folks.  Thanks for listening, it means a lot.  TTYL

COOKIE.....I WISH YOU WERE HERE...HERE IS WHY!!!!!

 I think I would like people to treat my home like they used to treat Bamfield. Cookie,  remember how you would round up your chillins and come stay for two weeks?  And we would laugh and eat and go to Pachena and go adventuring out into the bush on terrible roads and sit in the window like a couple of old crows drinking shitty wine or a Bamfield special. Boy do I ever miss those days.

I remember when I discovered making potato chip/mayo covered salmon cakes and as much as people loved them, no one loved them as much as you did!  It was a pure pleasure to make them for you.  And guess what I am about to make today!!!

Yesterday my salmon connection texted.  He caught five sockeye yesterday.  He was selling them cheap because they were getting red spots on them...a sign that it is spawning time.  As he said they are rough looking but still delicious.  So I bought one.  I have eaten totally red, barely fresh, but still fresh enough, fish when I lived up north.

Last night I baked it and this time I didn't wrap it up in tin foil.  I simply threw it into the oven, head and all.  Man! it was so much easier to take the skin off and it was perfectly moist and delicious.  We ate half.  I made the usual dill béchamel for it.  But now I have half a cooked salmon, not a big one so I may add some canned salmon.  Canned salmon is one fish  that tastes awesome canned.

I even remember what to put into the patties.  But I did dream up an easier neater way to cover them with mayo and coat in chips.  So I shall practice the new method.   It involves a paint brush!  I will take pics of the finished product and post it below!!!  Only thing missing is YOU!!!

I was also remembering your flat tire.  We were so positive we were female warriors and we could for sure change that tire...and we couldn't. We had to get someone to do it for us!  Oh the shame!!!!!  But we tried!!!  Now the road is paved and half the adventure is gone.

I was thinking that we should have one more retreat up there.  I am pretty sure we could find a large place to rent.  I remember when twenty girls would drive up there for the retreats.  If it ends up just the two of us that is okay with me!!!  If that happens you MUST bring Brian.  I miss him and his goofy jokes and stories.  I will never forget, in Bamfield, Darren got a pen and wrote 'I am gay' on the top of his bald head!!!!!  So not pc but so funny.

Well we had quite the storm last night, at least for here in Port.  We almost never get thunder storms so last night was quite an anomaly.  Now it is raining thank goodness.  Not a lot, not enough to turn our grass green, but enough to keep the sun away.  It is so much easier on the eyes with the sun gone.

That's it for today.  I need to go and mix up the salmon stuff so it can sit in the fridge for the day and solidify.  Chef John says to leave it overnight but that aint gonna happen!  He isn't the boss of cooking!

Have a great day and TTYL

'Good food is very often, even most often, simple food.'  Anthony Bourdain....boy am I agreeing with that as I get older and slower!!!

THERE THEY ARE

WE HAVE NO PRIDE

MY BFFS BRIAN AND COOKIE. 💜💜💜

MY MIND IS ON CLOTHES

 When we made the first trip to Nanaimo to pick up Toonykoot (Graeme), we left early enough that I could make a stop at the fat lady store. (FLS)  Thank goodness Nanaimo still has a brick and mortar to go to.  I need a couple of things to fill in gaps in my wardrobe. 

 As long as I am in Port here, otherwise known as ButtF**k Nowhere, it just doesn't seem to matter what you wear.  Even people that think they dress great...don't.  It's only in their minds.  I saw a guy the other day going into the bank...in frigging pyjama bottoms!!!  They had pictures on them!!!!  That is just going too far with the informality....in my book.  But to each their own...who the heck am I to judge.  I wear the same clothes for weeks on end (except for the unmentionables).  So who am I to talk???

Well that being said we have a cruise coming up.  And I know if I wear raggedy ugly old stained clothes, they won't kick me off the boat, out of the dining room, but not off the boat. But I will not be doing that!

And being an older fat broad, since a year ago when we cruised to Alaska I was basically fitting nicely into what clothes I took.  This time things have changed.  Gravity has done a number on my comfy body deposits over the year...they have done slid down some and things just don't fit the same.  Sigh.

So I took stock and now due to old wrinkly skin sagging legs I have to get capris.  I got rid of all my capris and so I had to order black stretchy leggings, capris length, to replace them.  And I have had to get short sleeved blouses to wear over my tanks to cover my bulbous bubbly arms.  Well you get the picture, sorry bout that!!!  All I can say is thank Om for stretchy material!!!  (I thought old people got skinny.  I don't know even one old 'fat' person.  It's not fair)

So the point of all that is we did make that stop at the FLS and I did find a lovely top I can wear for dressier moments.  Sometimes, not often, I regret that I got a boob reduction.  Now, all these years later they have deflated to flatline and my stomach is a full blown balloon.  It's pretty bad when your stomach sticks out way past your chest line.  (shovel list). Jeez!  I hope no men read this ridiculous blog.

We didn't see the Mars fly over.  We went to a good spot to wait and a guy standing there told us it had unexpectedly flown over an hour before.  WTF???  Very very very disappointing!!!!  Anyway we left Graeme at the ferry terminal and headed home.  Monte was pretty frazzled so we didn't stop anywhere.  

The next day Colton showed up and started the fence.  It took two days and he did the most amazing job!!!  It's so nice now to just throw the dog out onto the deck and he can go down to the yard and come back up as he pleases.  I have ordered a cheap dog bed to put out by the sliding door and we have started to feed him out there.  He is drinking all the water from a cooler that didn't have a lid on it during the rains in the winter.  Next time I go outside I will get a picture of the fence.  So exciting right?  Just what you want to see I am sure!!!!  Hahahaha!!  Gotta bounce...TTYL

'Folk music is a bunch of fat people.'  Bob Dylan

'Outside every thing woman is a fat man trying to get in.'  Katherine Whitehorn

MR. TALL

I SPEND A LOT OF TIME FLATTENING BOXES

WHEN MONTE IS GONE FLOPPY SPENDS HIS TIME RESTING HIS CHIN ON THE WINDOW SILL.... STARING

ONCE IN A WHILE HE MAKES HIS WAY INTO MY ROOM AND GETS UP ON MY BED WITH ME.  MY BED IS A TINY TWIN.  HE IS ON MY LEG.  SO CLOSE IT WAS HARD TO GET A PIC!

NEW FOOD INVENTION

 The other day I made a huge pot of chilli.  It was delicious.  As Graeme was coming the next day I stuck the massive amount of leftovers into the fridge.  Graeme likes chilli.

I also made a Walmart delivery for the next morning which included Texas toast garlic bread.  I had an idea.

Yesterday the boys went to Bamfield so I planned the chilli dinner for last night after they got home.  Now for my idea.

I decided to make grilled cheese sandwiches out of the garlic Texas toast I had ordered to go with the chilli....but....before they left for their outing we were having coffee.  I described to them how I had bought sliced cheddar cheese and jalapeño havarti cheese to make grilled cheese sammiches, using the Texas toast, to go with the chilli.  Monte asked if I had tomato soup...which I did.  And they wanted the sammiches AND the tomato soup for breakfast!  Or early lunch!

So that is what I did.  I layered the cheese on the very buttery garlicky thick pieces of bread.  I warmed up my electric grill and plopped them down on the hot surface.  I heated up the soup and flipped the sandwiches back and forth until they were crispy and the cheese all melty.  I gave them each a mug of hot soup and a couple of those sandwiches.

Now I wish I had taken a bite of one of them.  I can't report first hand how good they were but according to the boys they were amazing!!!!  The soup maybe not so much....it was a blue can Campbells, less calories, less yumminess.  But they were happy!  I made plain garlic Texas toast for supper with the chilli.

One other exciting thing that is happening is the fence we ordered for outside.  Yesterday for the first time in forever, literally, I decided to actually lay down on my bed and have a nap.  I was so tired.  And I fell absolutely sound asleep.  Dead to the world. 

 I think it was about an hour later my phone started buzzing.  I had put it under my pillow.  I grabbed it and answered but my brain and my left eye were still asleep.  Jeepers!!!!  I couldn't figure out what was being said to me and my left eye was totally crossed and wouldn't uncross!!  I had to keep shaking my head violently to shake it back into place!

It turned out to be Monte's friend who is doing our new fence addition.  He would be here to start it in fifteen minutes!!!

So I leapt out of bed, yanked my poof into place, donned my shoes and got ready to greet him at the door and to show him where the fence needed to go.  I am so excited!!!!  It's going to make it a lot easier for Ange.  She is the one that lets him out four or five times a day and watches that no deliveries are coming while he is out and then feeds him.  Now we will be able to just throw him out the deck door and leave him outside some of the time.  He won't be able to get around to the front of the house and possibly escape if a delivery comes. 

WAITING THEIR TURN

Now it is five in the a.m.  I am wide awake and watching the news.  I have def had too much sleep in the last couple of days and nights.  I arranged to NOT go to Kamloops today as planned.  We need to be here for the fence friend.  But we will take a couple of hours to take Graeme

    

BATH TIME

 to Nanaimo.  I want to make a quick stop at Costco for a couple of things I forgot.

So til next time...have a great day or two!!! TTYL

'Everybody needs a friend they probably shouldn't sit next to at serious functions."  Anon. hey Cookie...remember when we were at convention?

COMPANY IS COMING!!!

 Tomorrow we head to Nanaimo to pick up Graeme.  He is here for only a couple of days, actually only one full day.  I love having him visit.  I have a big container of chilli in the fridge I made yesterday.  He seems to like chilli.  I shall get some Texas garlic toast to go with it and some kind of yummy dessert.

And tomorrow the Mars Bomber, the massive fire bomber does its final flight tomorrow, accompanied by the Snow Birds.  So somewhere along the way we shall pause our day and watch the flyover.  They are taking a coastal route, taking time to fly over coastal municipalities for us to see.  We will be tracking it so we will know when and where to go to watch it go over.

I was telling Graeme, who is very keen to see this event, that I did the same thing one time years ago when we were told that in our hemisphere at two in the morning we could see the space shuttle fly over way up high, returning from outer space.  No one else in our house was interested but I wrapped up in a blanket and went out and sat shivering in the cold, waiting with bated breath.  And then suddenly there it was as it slowly moved across the whole north sky.  I almost fainted I was so excited!!!!

I think I have also mentioned here that when I was five, Oct. 4th 1957 I was lying in bed staring out the window when I saw a star MOVING!!!!  Stars didn't ever move like that.  So I risked death (absolutely not allowed to get out of bed after we were in it!!!)  and went out to Mom and Dad and told them.  They went out and sure enough...they knew what it was from hearing it on the CBC radio news.  They quickly told people that lived on the farm (by crank phone) and we all stood outside in awe and watched it very slowly cross the sky.  And then many many years later I stood in the Smithsonian in Washington DC and saw part of Sputnik on display.  I still can't wrap my brain around that one.  No words.

So whilst purchasing turlett paper and dog food and Graeme dessert

DOING ITS JOB

A BEAUTY

at Costco we shall keep an eye on the sky!!!  We have driven out to the airport and Sproat Lake her in Port to see it in it's home spots.  And we have seen it fly occasionally but this is the last.  It is on its way to the aviation museum in Victoria.  Biggest skimmer in the world!

So that is our exciting information for today.  I will see it I can get a pic of it going over.  I think I am more excited to see the Snow Birds!!!  Have a great day TTYL

I tried and tried to find a quote about Sputnik but everything I found was all about the Americans and what they thought....nothing from Canada or even Russia for heaven's sake.  Frankly I don't give a hoot what the US felt about it...I wanted to write a quote from either a Canadian or Russian.  So no quote today.

NOTHING. NOTHING HAS HAPPENED. THIS WILL BE THE MOST BORING ENTRY IN SEVENTEEN YEARS.

Ummm...let's see.  I partially unpacked.  I am slowly figuring out what I am going to take on the cruise in Sept.  My stupid brain defaults to it being a chilly cruise then I remember we are going to Hawaii, not Alaska and it is HOT there!  So it's time to stop wearing my white shorts and shirts and shoes and packing them while they are still white!!!

Let's see....I bought blueberries today...locally hand picked.  Quality Foods behind us here is selling five pound boxes for fifteen bucks.  Can't beat that.

Whilst there Monte and I got lunch.  At their lunch area you pour your own coffee.  I then went and got the blueberries and discovered I was missing my credit carard.  It was the one that I had just used for lunch.  So I went ripping back there and...yes, they had it.  I had set it down to pour the coffee.  Someone turned it in to the lunch cashier.  What a dummy.

Graeme is coming next weekend.  We need to make a run to Costco for dog food and turlett paper so we will go when we can pick up Graeme afterwards.  On Tuesday the 13th we will leave super early, get the nine ferry, take Graeme home and then head up to Kamloops.  We are taking the van so we can empty the storage locker into it to bring home.  We have one more fairly empty storage room here we will put it all in and sort it here.  The only drawback is rats.  I am pretty sure that room wasn't rat proofed so we will have to sort and chuck and put away stuff fairly fast.  Especially the photos....they love to rip up the photos.

Thats literally it.  That is all I have done.  I cooked and cleaned but I am a woman so that doesn't count.  Now I am going to go and get me a scoop of ice cream.  Butterscotch ripple...gotta chase that brown streak!!  It's diet ice cream.  TTYL

'I don't eat lobster, shrimp or crawfish because I don't eat anything that looks like I should step on it.'  George Carlin

 

 

HOME AGAIN HOME AGAIN JIGGITY JIG

YET AGAIN BLOG SPOT PUTS EVERYTHING IN THE FREAKING WRONG PLACE.  MY PEOPLE UNDER MY BENCH 

JOCELYN AND CRAIG

JO AND CRAIG

LAST DINNER....SWISSED STEAK 

KERRY

GARY AND KATHY

AINSLEY

 What a trip!!!!  A wonderful trip!!!  So many special visits with special people.

I went out to Savona to see Jo and Craig's new purchase, a fantastic mobile home on a lake shore with a boat launch and a beach.  The place is beautiful.  Jo and I had a fantastic visit...as usual!  She and I are on the same page about everything!!!  I just love visiting with her!!  And there were a hundred kids running around....a perfect hot day at the lake!!!

Kathy and Kerry and their current house guest Gary, were not home for the weekend.  They had gone to Salmon Arm to the Roots and Blues Festival.  I had the house, all five thousand plus square feet of it, to myself.  It was almost scary!!!  I am definitely not used to being in a place with that much space.  And the floor to ceiling windows with an unbelievable view made one feel like they could almost tumble out and down into the city!!!  Pure luxury!!

 It made me feel like my little shit box here is pretty humble, which is fine with me.  I have had enough fancy big houses in my life.  This one suits me just fine.  And frankly if I lived in their beautiful house I would probably fill it with people needing somewhere to live, I would hole up in that awesome little suite downstairs and cook for them all every day!!!!

We did go and spend one evening in a park and watched an amazingly well done Treasure Island play.  What fun that was!!!  It was a great audience too...lots of babies and kids.  I loved it.

I spent some time with Annie.  She is such a kind and wonderful person.  I love visiting with her.  We have such a long history and it is great to rehash things.  It's mentally healthy!!!

She came out to the storage unit with me.  It wasn't quite as big as my imagination had it, but it was full and over a hundred bucks a month I could be saving.  I will put a pic below.  I think Monte and I are going to go up in a couple of weeks and clean it out.  I have to open every box to see what is in it and make decisions.  Sigh.

The trip home was awesome.  I stopped at Anne's first and had a final visit.  I left Kamloops around twelve and mosied home.  I stopped in Merrit at the Home restaurant and had a fabulous meal.  Then I drove to a rest stop along the way and snoozed for an hour.  I drove slowly all the way from there to April's and Myles'.  I got there around seven thirty.  Such a fabulous and beautiful trip.  And off to the ferry the next day and home.  

Now I am sitting here in my beloved chair looking at stuff I need to unpack.  When I got home yesterday Monte helped me get everything out of the car and into the house and then let Floppy out to greet me outside. 

 Holy Hell!!!!!  He went crazy!!!  He damned near knocked me down!!!!  He left a great big bruise on my arm!!!  Thats love for ya!!

So this post is looking like a diary entry!  Sorry bout that.  I probably left something out.  So I must bounce now.  TTYL

'A bend in the road, is not the end of the road unless you fail to make the turn.'  Helen Keller

SUNRISE

STUFF STUFF STUFF AND A FIFTY POUND STUFFED SALMON