RUM AND MORE RUM

COOKIE:  I took your advice about the alcohol to heart. I went to the bathroom cabinet and alas! I had no rubbing alcohol. So I drank straight rum, several times. Slooshed it in my mouth around my tongue.  Didn't work. So I hung my tongue down into the rum in a dish.  I left it there til drool ran down my chin.  To no avail. But miracles of miracles when I woke up this morning it was pretty much gone!  And I had a headache.

SHARRI:  I just simply could not bring myself to use that 'c' word.  I just can't.  Even when I am in London, where you hear it all the time, I still get shocked...and I ain't no trembling rose.  I swear like a trooper but even I have a titchety bit of a filter when it comes to 'that' word.

Well yesterday Monte gets the coffee table upside down on the dining room table, all ready to build, which he does.  But when he was halfway through we noticed that the wheels were on backwards.  Sigh!  (shovel list). Very patiently he took them off and turned them around.  He got the first handle on but the second one simply does NOT fit.  There are two holes for each end to go into and one of them is literally inches off!  I am not sure what you do when that happens.  We haven't built the second one yet.  Maybe one of those handles will fit better.

Monte and I had an appointment this morning (Saturday) at the bank.  All we were doing was opening a joint chequing account.  It took frigging forever!!! And by the time we walked out of there he had a folder three inches thick with papers with tiny printed shit we will NEVER read.  What the hell?  And the questions!!!  It was almost as long and involved as what you go through at the SPCA to obtain the privilege of just looking at the photo album of the available dogs.  I mean back in the day you just went to the teller and said open me an account please and two minutes later you had an account.

Afterwards, Monte was still tired.  He is on a new medication that is knocking him flat.  Hope that passes!  Anyway I dropped him off at home  and went behind our house to Quality Foods.  Upstairs above their prepared foods, and little restaurant area is a beautiful very very insanely expensive kitcheny gift shop and a coffee place that is a satellite Starbucks.

I got a ham and cheese croissant and tall latte, sat at one of the comfy chairs, booted up my book on my phone, and felt ever so cosmopolitan.  Here I was, not looking too bad, for me, in a classy boutiquey little place having special coffee and a very French like lunch.

I picked up the croissant, took a bite, and shit!  I forgot I don't have any teeth except very back ones.  Now, at home I can shove my food way over to the side that still has a tooth on top and one on the bottom and gnaw a piece of whatever off, jerking it back and forth until it comes loose.  But in a sophisticated coffee shop full of sophisticated people?  Crap!  And it was too late, that sucker was already in my mouth.  So dripping mayo down my just put on that morning shirt (I wear my shirts for days if possible, now not), sawing that surprisingly, now slimy, tough croissant back and forth til it broke.  I finally was able to gum a piece of it til it was mushy enough to swallow.  I got up and went and got handfuls of napkins so I could cover my face to eat the rest, hiding.  Jesus, I can't win.

Well I haven't heard from the Brick yet about the final price on my stove or when I am going to get it.  I might drive over there and find out.

I have another really quick kitchen cooking hack for you.  I saw this on that Guy's Grocery Games.  It's so good I have to share it, not that I have done it yet.  Better be better than that awful Jamie Oliver one.

You take a squash and cut it in half lengthwise.  Deseed it.  Then you put a gob of butter (come on people...a BIG gob) in the deseeded wells, salt and pepper them and add any other herbs and spices you like.  Slap the two pieces together tightly and wrap it tightly in Saran Wrap.  And then you microwave it!!!!!  Yup!!!  He did two of them for 15 minutes on high.  I am so doing that!  I will take pics and let you know how it works out.

Gotta jet.  Things to do.  COOKIE IS COMING!!!  TTYL

IT'S REALLY HARD TO SEE BUT THE LEFT ONE IS WAY OFF THAT HOLE AND THAT IS A SOLID METAL BAR...NOT BENDABLE

MY TONGUE!! MY TONGUE!!

Before we get to my tongue, my poor tongue, let me tell you about my stove.  Such a scintillating interesting 'must know' subject.  Grrrr...

As I mentioned the whole electric panel toasted so off for a new stove.  I took Monte with me to get a second opinion.  I did spend an extraordinary amount of time googling and comparing and narrowed it down to an eighteen hundred dollar double oven beauty, not an induction (I am not ready to change my pots after all).  I could get it at Costco online or the Brick.  Delivery and removal of old one would make me choose Costco...but I wanted to see it in person first.

So off to the Brick.  They only had about ten stoves in there, we ARE in a rinky dink town after all, and one of them was only 995 bucks, on sale down from 1200.  Now that was appealing.  No two ovens but what the hey!!!!  It was perfect and not only that on Saturday (today) the tent sale starts and the stove is going to be in the seven hundreds AND they deliver for half price (forty bucks) and take away the broken one.  Needless to say that fifteen minutes after walking into the store I walked out, new stove in my pocket.  Easy peasy!!!!

The night before, Friday night, my teeth broke again.  (shovel list!!!!). So I scrubbed them down, set them on the counter to completely dry by morning.  The next morning I solicited poor Monte's help...just what every dude wants to do...help his mother glue her teeth back together!

They broke all wonky so I had to line them up properly  exactly perfectly over and over, muscle memory, so that when Monte put the glue on, I could quickly put them together.  They can't be out even a nano 'you know what hair' or they just don't 
fit.

So that is exactly what we successfully did.  I had to leave them for a half hour to properly bond before putting them in my mouth.  Half an hour later I went to pop them in my mouth and when my tongue, this is the 'my poor tongue' part, touched the stupid bridge, the GLUE WASN'T DRY!!!!!! 

 I whipped them out of my mouth as fast as you can say bob's your uncle! but it was too late. The tip of my tongue, a large part of it, was covered with Gorilla glue...OMG!!!!  and let me tell you, your shit doesn't have to be dry for that crap to stick!!!  It wouldn't come off!!!  The end of my tongue was all covered in glue!!!  What the hell?  Am I supposed to dip my tongue in nail polish remover?  That is the only thing I know that removes crazy glue.

So then I really couldn't talk properly...no teeth and a crazy glued tongue.  Jesus Murphy!!!!!!

I just left the stupid teeth on the table and took my mumbly mouth to the Brick.  Much later when I got home the teeth were all done and dry but....they would not go into my mouth. Clearly the fit was a 'you know what' hair off.  So until next week I will be toothless. I get my new teeth finally next week.  Took long enough.

Well time to build my coffee table.  I had ordered a pretty inexpensive small distressed red table with iron wheels for legs.  Very cool.  Small.  So I got two, one for each loveseat.  They arrived.  And the are HUGE!!!!!  Ah jeez.  (shovel list). The measurements were in centimetres so I didn't pay attention.  But they looked small in the picture.  Friggin' hell.  I guess one is certainly fine in the living room. But the other one will have to go on the deck...which will be okay too.  But now I feel stupid.

I gotta bounce and start building.  I need to get it done today.  There are only nine hours left before bedtime.  Wish me luck.  TTYL

SHOULDN'T BE TOO HARD RIGHT?

DINING ROOM IS COMING TOGETHER!!

BRODY EATING HIS FIRST CRAB EVER

THIS STUPID BLOGSPOT PUTS PICS IN THE WRONG PLACE.  THIS IS ONE OF THE CHAIRS.

As I sit here posting this, the Wayfair guys are here putting the two Captain's chairs together.  All I can say is I am totally glad I paid extra to have them not only deliver, but come in and build.  The chairs look fabulous!  I shall put a pic below!

Wayfair left and appliance guys arrived.  They took the stove apart and....its bad news.  The whole electrical panel blew.  Fuckadoode!!!!!  Sometimes I think I should just be renting.  Its always another thousand out the door.  Sigh. (shovel list)

Apparently it will cost more to fix it than to get a new stove.  And I guess the stove is about 12 years old.  I was surprised.  The lady of the house kept that stove in a-1 condition.  It didn't even looked like it had ever been used.  Jeez, mine looked worse than that after using it just once.  So off to the Brick.  I am going to inquire about induction stoves.  I know they are expensive but they have a lot of pluses.  The biggest drawback is you have to use a certain type of pots and I am not sure I can get used to new pots.  I don't use recipes...I just go by my pot on how much to put in.  I think I already posted about that.  Sorry...getting old.

I was having my morning coffee this morning.  I happened to catch the last few minutes of a Jamie Oliver cooking show.  Now, I am not necessarily a Jamie fan but...I recognize that he is well respected and a reliable chef.

Well he started to make a salad dressing that totally caught my attention.  He grated about four tablespoons of onion.  Grating changes the flavour to something kind of magical.  He finely chopped one clove of garlic and added it.  He then cut a large tomato in quarters, squeezed out the seeds and juice and then fine grated the section right down to the skin, which he discarded.  He then squeezed a lemon into it, added salt and about two to three tablespoons of olive oil. Mmmmmm.  

So I decided to give it a try.

oil grater onion tomato lemon garlic salt&pepper

all grated and chopped

all mixed up and ready

testing my cropping capabilities of my new camera

So I made a salad and put it on top of the slurry and dug in.  And it was just plain awful.  Gross.  Shovel list worthy.  Blech!!!!!!!  I went to the fridge and grabbed my thousand island dressing I make and put that on top.  It was bitter, raw tomato flavour and way way to garlicky.  Shan't be doing that again!  I am disappointed in you Jamie Oliver!!!!  TTYL



                                                                                                 

GROAN

I hate to complain but.....this whole week is busy busy busy.  Every single day I have something happening.  And all I really want to do is get my corners sorted and cleaned cuz COOKIE IS COMING!!!!!!  And as my kids will tell you that when COOKIE IS COMING I take advantage of the event to get those little things all done.

Tomorrow, Monday, I have two things on the agenda.  The insurance lady that did Gladys's insurance at the dealership missed me signing in a certain spot.  Well jeez!!  She has texted and phoned me over and over to come in.  I kept telling her I was in Bamfield and COULDN'T.  What about that does the damned woman not get? So I have been purposely dragging my ass...not nice I know but jeez!  Not my fault.  In Kamloops the gal that did the insurance on Tank came to my house each year to do the renewal and signing.  I think I got a tad spoiled!

So I shall go in tomorrow on my way to the denturist...hopefully getting my new teeth.  I am looking forward to that, and a little bit not.  I know that it is going to hurt for the first while.  Oh well, at least I won't look so much like a red neck hillbilly anymore.

And now, I think I have thrombosis in my right leg.  The calf is hurting like hell, for no freaking reason.  Its not like I ran a half marathon or hiked up Mt. Arrowsmith.  Its cramping somewhat too.  I just know that I am going to eat aspirin and hopefully a clot doesn't bust loose and kill me in the night.  If I am dead in the morning can one of you please call the coroner and tell him why I'm a goner?  Thanks.

I have also been spending quality time pouncing and trapping, in all kinds of inventive manner, clouds of fruit flies.  Holy bejeezus they are really really bad this year.  I finally opened an almost dead jar of strawberry jam (one I actually have had since I first moved to Kamloops...that crap lasts forever) and simply waited.  And sure enough a million fruit flies descended into that jar. I sprung over, lid at the ready, and slammed it shut!  Hahahaha!!!  I caught a ton of them!

But then I picked up the drink cans and bottles receptacle to put outside, it was full of empty V8 cans, and five million flew up out of that bin.  Holy Crap!!!  So I put it back down and waited.  And then I leaped around the corner and dropped a towel over the whole thing before they had time to move!  Caught them all!!  Took it outside and far away and released them.

One more....I have a reasonably tallish tin that I use as my garbage bowl.  It is white.  I noticed a million of those suckers on that tin and in it and around it.  So I got a plastic shopping bag,  got it ready, snuck slowly across the floor and pounced and got that bag over the whole thing and dashed out onto the deck.  Hah!!!!  Got a million more.  Now they are trying to get into my homemade bread bag, but it's zip locked.  I guess they are after the yeast.

Anyway now that I have bored you to death, I go.  TTYL

A MISTAKE AND A HACK

The hack first.  I think I mentioned that Monte made buttermilk biscuits in the cast iron pan a while back.  They were scrumptious!

Well, the recipe he used had a hack in it that I think is pure genius and def works.  And as you know I am not one to go on about recipes and such.  But this is so good I am passing it on.

You know when you are making pastry or biscuits etc... or any recipe that calls for you to break butter up into tiny pea sizes.  Well there is a fool proof easier way.  Melt the butter and and when its totally liquified, take your water, milk or buttermilk, and the liquid has to be ice cold, pour the melted butter/shortening into the ice cold liquid.  The butter instantly beads up into a zillion little balls!  You can then rechill the liquid (but it really doesn't need that) and pour it into your dry ingredients and voila!!.  Soooo much easier and not messy.  And it totally works!

Now for the mistake....but one that has turned out for the better.  Back a couple years I bought a mondo amazing bread machine.  That was when my lost boys were around a lot.  I used it royally until the boys were gone.  I had no need of it then. So I gave it to a friend of ours, and glad I did cuz...

I was in Canadian Tire the other day, not my fave store btw, and I saw a bread machine on sale.  Now that I have Monte and his friends again I decided to buy it.  I just used it for the first time today and it is utterly fantastic.  It makes a way better shaped loaf than the old one did and does every single thing the old one did.  And get this....I paid 250 for the old one.  I paid 69 bucks for this one!!!!  Crazy!!!

And this one, of course, has the dough setting.  So cinnamon buns and pizza crusts are in our future.  Not only that, I have the boys picking me a load of blackberries and this sucker makes jam!

My stove broke.  I turned it on yesterday to roast a couple of chickens and it wouldn't heat past 300.  Not only that the oven light is on and won't go off.  Sigh.  And the convection part quit working. (shovel list).  So I phoned the appliance place I used to use when we lived in Bamfield.  They will be coming sometime late next week.  But, you know, I have a deep electric frying pan, a slow cooker, a bbq, a turkey roaster....a bunch of ways to cook otherwise.  

I ended up cooking the chickens in the turkey roaster, bbq'ed the zucchini strips, cast ironed the big round brown mushrooms, copper potted the mashed taters, made stove top stuffing (never done that before and it was delicious!) and best of all, made quarts of milk chicken gravy.  Mmmmm....sorry...can you tell I am hungry?

I will quit now.  TTYL

A QUICK VENT

I found out through a back door that a certain relative (not my family) hates my guts.  Which is totally fine with me!  Hahaha!!!  And I am pretty sure I know why.  I could care less what the cow thinks of me. But...

I found out she was apparently laying it on pretty thick with one of my kids, for hours, like only she can.  I have heard her going on and on, horrible things she said, about her ex daughters in law, you know, the mothers of her grandchildren.  Why her wimpy boys would let her is beyond me.

And to me, that is crossing a line.  What she hasn't seemed to catch on to is that none of us out here (including Bill) liked her or believed a word she said anyway.  And everything she tried to convince my kid of was either a lie, skewed or just plain uniformed or wrong.  Thank goodness the love  and respect this kid and I have for each other is beyond what that cow says.  Hmmmmm.....I wonder why she hates me so much....hee hee hee!!!!!!! I feel so powerful! 

And just to be clear....I didn't hear it from that kid.

Anyway, I have managed to unpack all the camping stuff.  Its always so messy and icky!  Cookie is coming for a visit.  She arrives on the 26th of August.  She is staying until the 31st!!!!  And that's long enough we can do things!!!!  So that gives me ten sleeps to get my house in order and all things ready!  One thing I know we will be doing is going to the quilt shop here in town!  And we will go down to the Quay and get a donut!  And maybe a hike to the hole in the wall.  And make some plans for the retreat.   I can't wait!

Now I must get myself dressed and head down to Kaltire.  Myles has given me the name of all terrain tires I need to put on Gladys. Yay!!!  Gladys gets new shoes!!!  They will be a little tougher than the ones on there now.

Have a great day and don't be like the cow....be nice or shut up!  Its a choice.  TTYL. (kind of an oxymoron for me...after going on about her!  hahaha!!)

IT DIDN'T RAIN..AT LEAST NOT REALLY!!!

Wow!!!  What a trip!  Any trip to Bamfield over that fifty mile crazy road makes you feel like you had to work for it.  Monte and I both commented several times that it was a good thing we were in his van and not Tank.  We would have had sideways whip lash within the first ten miles.  That road is a demon!

The campsite was amazing.  We all crowded into one campsite, which was just big enough for the three vehicles, tent trailer and two tents.  And we were surrounded by giant beautiful trees and right past those trees, not very far, was that magnificent sandy beach and the ocean.  The waves lullabied us to sleep every night.  Plus there was a massive, extremely bright full moon moving from one side of the bay to the other all night long.  The bay is two kilometres wide.  Utterly beautiful and healing and to think that this was basically our back yard for twenty plus years!

We were up insanely early on Monday morning and off fishing.  Jen, April, Monte, Myles and I met Drew, the fishing guide at six am.  We went out the inlet and around the corner and as he was dropping the first lines into the water BAM we got a double header!!!  But...we did catch a fair amount of salmon but they were either shakers (too little) or they shook off as soon as they saw the boat.  Barbless hooks you know.  Ridiculous.  (shovel list).  Anyway Monte managed to land a five pounder, which we devoured that night for supper.  Jen and her family went out the next morning and had much better luck.

Just before heading back in, Drew found the most beautiful spot between two little islands and we spread Billy Boys ashes.  Humungously emotional.  I know five years has gone by but this just seemed so final and we were all five of us really affected at seeing him float away.  There are just so many memories and stories.  Bamfield will forever be our Bill/Dad/Spod spot.  We are so fortunate to have this place just for that.

When we weren't fishing or touring around our old stomping grounds, we were lazing out on the acres and acres of beautiful sand soaking up the sun and the intrepid ones swam and swam.  Holy Moly it was magical.

I would like to say a word about Jen's kids.  They were totally delightful!  Riley, 17 years, was polite, gorgeous and totally interesting.  We had some quality visiting and he was funny!  Bri, 13 years old,  Jen's David's daughter, was quiet and gorgeous and a wonderful addition.  And Brody
a crazy, funny, incredibly smart, mouthy (in a good way), did I say funny? twelve year old was the total life of the party!!!  Holy crap!!!!  I would bring him home with me any day!!!  He could be a handful for sure but totally worth it!!!

Dave, Jen's squeeze, is from Nova Scotia.  And he is definitely a keeper!  I super liked the guy.  For the last evening I arranged to buy ten giant crabs from the natives on the reserve there where we were camping.  We had a great big feed of corn on the cob as well.

Dave had brought his lobster cooking huge pot which we put over the fire and first we cooked the corn then we cooked the crab and then we melted butter then we all dug in and holy cow!!!!!! delicious!!!  But Dave, who is an expert lobster eater, enjoyed and ate and ate and enjoyed that crab like I have never seen before.  OMG!!  It was the highlight of the whole weekend, watching him just get lost in the deliciousness of the crab and eating it like a total pro!!!

I am going to now go and try to load my pics onto here and post some.  Wish me luck!  TTYL

MYLES CATCHING HIS FISH BACKWARDS....HE HOOKED IT IN ITS TAIL!!!

MONTE LANDING THE ONLY FISH IN THE BOAT

THERE IT IS

JEN CATCHING A LOAD OF KELP AND A TEN INCHER

GOODBYE SPOD

OUR RINKY DINK SETUP

ALWAYS THE GRADER

THE CONCERT HALL AT THE MARINE STATION...CALLED THE CLAMSHELL

THE ONLY WAY I CAN TAKE A SELFIE...REFLECTION IN THE WINDOW AT THE MARINE STATION

AS USUAL...GROSSLY OUT OF ORDER

MY GIANT PENIS STICK...I ALWAYS FIND ONE ON EVERY BEACH

ALWAYS THE LOGGING TRUCK

BAMFIELD IS A PIECE OF HEAVEN

TOOK LAST WEEK...SHOWING OFF MY NEW CAMERA'S CAPABILITY

THE PATHWAY TO THE BEACH

BRI AND BRODY DOING THE HOT DOG

AT THE MARINE STATION LOOKING OVER TO THE COAST GUARD STATION

OUR GUIDE DREW

THE HOUSE BILL AND I BUILT

NOTHING SCREAMS CAMPING MORE THAN PERC COFFEE POT, CAST IRON PAN, BACON ON A CAMPSTOVE

APRIL HAD THE BIGGEST ONE ON...SHOOK OFF AT THE LAST MINUTE

STANDING IN MY HOUSE

LATE AT NIGHT

THE PATH BACK FROM THE BEACH

I ONLY PUT THIS IN TO SHOW THE BAY
THIS IS WHY SPOD CALLED ME BLISTER
.

SHE CLEANED THAT SUCKER

RILEY AND MYLES...DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING

A BURIED BRODY

AN AWESOME KID

OUR BEAUTIFUL HOUSE

SO EXCITING!

Everything is exciting right now.  I am starting this post before we even leave for camping.  Jen and family are due to arrive at any moment.  The beans are cooking, the ribs are roasting, the coleslaw dressing is merging (can't remember the proper word....shovel list), all is ready.

This morning was pretty cool.  Monte and I went to the dealership to get the jeep.  And I tell ya, the whole place was atwitter with excitement!  This was the first 2020 vehicle sold here and def the first jeep gladiator.  Before I could drive away though they lined the whole crew up with us and took pictures.

And this jeep, let me tell ya, is waaaay better behaved than Tank ever was!  Because of the longer wheel base it STAYS on the road, no heading for the rhubarb, this one.  And going over bumps doesn't give you sideways whiplash.

But this is what I didn't realize it had:  heated seats, heated steering wheel, back up camera, Sirius radio, blue tooth, traction support, huge back seat, and a TRUCK BOX!!!!  Oh yeah!!!!

Anyway enough of that.  I went online to get a fishing licence.  I wanted one for two days, even though I was pretty sure I was only fishing for one.  Well holy shit!!!!  It was like trying to get into Fort Knox.

First I had to create an account.  Name, address, height, eye colour, weight blah blah blah.  Then through a confusing, to me anyway, bunch of choices and addons I finally got a one day licence. There was just no way of easily adding on another day.  Today, after getting Gladys, we went to Fish On, a fishing gear store who sells licences, and Monte went in to get his.  I settled in for a decently long wait, knowing what all he had to do to get one.  Three minutes later he came out...with a licence!  What!!!????  How did they do it so fast?  Jeez!  I should have just gone and done it there.

Anywhoo.....Just spent a wonderful evening with Jen and family.  It was great!  I made her her special rib dinner and we sat out on the deck and caught up on all the newsies and had some good laughs.  I think this camping trip is going to be a hoot.  I sure hope it doesn't actually rain.  I don't mind it being cloudy but I don't like the rain.  Or hail.  Or wind.  Or freezing cold temps!!!!

Anyway I am off to bed.  Its super late and its past bedtime.  TTY on wed the fifteenth!

GLADYS HAS ARRIVED!!!!

SHE IS HERE!!!!!  Finally!!! And jeez Louise is she ever red!  Hokey Dinah!!!  I put a pic of her on face book but I will put a pic below for my non fb peeps.  The gorgeous lady in the pic is not me by the way.  Just clearing that little detail up.  I wouldn't want all you people that haven't met me thinking that I am lying here in this blog...going on how fat I am and old and ugly...then look like her!

She, definitely, is NOT a Blister.  She is Lisa, the finance gal at the dealership.  She phoned me to let me know what to bring in with me when I pick it up in the morning.  She was all giddy about the colour and the fact that her shoes were the same colour!  So she took a pic and sent it to me.  So funny!

Saturday morning we go camping in Bamfield out at Pachena Bay, our old back yard for many years. I am NOT taking Gladdy.  And there is only one reason.  Wrangler.  He is the worst hairball.  You should see poor Tank.  There is more inches deep hair over every inch of the inside of that jeep than there is on that dog.  I ordered leather seats but apparently that somehow got past the salesman...who actually wasn't very good.

When Lisa called me, she was running over the numbers.  She casually mentioned that my trade in was 21,000.00.  NO IT WASN'T!!!  I distinctly remember he said 22,500.00.  But the dumb salesman put down 21,000.  When I signed I never even checked because it was ten seconds after the head guy said 22,500.

So Lisa put him on and there was a bit of an argument, I told a sad lie or two and in the end got my 22,500!  Plus the jeep ended up being 500 bucks cheaper than they had quoted me.  So I used the money and bought paint protection.  Gotta keep that awesome red awesome!

But back to the camping trip.  I am not comfortable leaving Gladys sitting here all by herself with no one keeping an eye on her.  Not in this godforsaken town.  So I called up Pat and asked if I could park her in front of his place til Wednesday when we get back.  He lives right across from a drug dealer so nothing happens right there in that tiny area.  He was quite happy to Gladdy sit.

Tomorrow night Jen (Bill's stepdaughter) and family will be here!!!!  I can't wait to see her.  Jen and I get along like a house on fire!  I'm anxious to see the kids and her new squeeze (new to me).  Also April and Myles will be here!  They are going to sleep in their truck.  It will be loaded and they don't trust the alley rats...don't really blame them.  They need a big air horn and when one of those losers sticks his face into the back, they can whip out the air horn and let fly!  Hahahaha!!!!  Scare the shit out of them!

My new buffet arrived!  I paid for Wayfair to come in and build it too.  The rest of the dining room stuff is coming on the twentieth.  I absolutely love it.  But..it left me with a bit of a dilemma.  What to do with the old one.  I don't want to get rid of it.  I actually like it and wouldn't you know, the new one doesn't fit even one thing from the old one.

So I moved the old one into the kitchen and put all the stuff back in.  I kind of like it!  I put the cookbooks on top to make it look homey.    Then thats it I think.  No more purchases except for my teeth.  Those stupid things cost more than the whole dining room suite.  And they are taking way longer to get than the furniture.  I have to keep crazy gluing my current ones back together which is really annoying.

So I shall be posting on Wed. the fifteenth.  I hope I will figure out how to put pics from the new camera onto here.  I shall post.  I will post a pic of my big giant salmon I am going to catch!!!  TTYL

I'M FREAKING TRYING...

Goddammittttt!!!!  I am trying really hard to be understanding, empathetic and kind about the alley rats around here.  Thieving bastards!  (BIG TIME SHOVEL LIST). Jesus, we already provide food, clothes, rehab, mental health, needles, methadone, did I say shelter?  with all the amenities like tooth brushes and hairbrushes and bedding etc....  What the f*ck more do the assholes want?  Oh!  Right!  They want to bring their dogs and drugs into the shelter with them, and they aren't allowed.  So they go up and down the streets busting into cars and stealing anything that moves from your yard.  Assholes.

The other day it rained.  And I am talking about a gully washing down pour that lasted the whole night.  The next day, on that fb page I have mentioned, at least four people complained about their patio table umbrellas going missing.

When we drove past murder park, (named because murdered people in this town get dumped there) you could see the alley rats all sitting in the bushes under giant umbrellas covering themselves and their stolen crap.  Assholes.

So I have started leaving the front porch light on.  It is a motion light.  Around two in the morning I was sitting in my living room, in the dark, on my lappy.  All of a sudden the light out there goes on. Thinking it was probably a cat or something, I go down and whip the door open and there is an alley rat, bent over, sizing up Harry..my heavy rock and rebar two foot high statue of a heron.  Now I, expecting an animal, was in my holy (and not as in religious) underwear and ratty giant shirt, not my finest look I must say. 

 The alley rat is a young dude, in a ratty sweat suit with pumped up kicks, asshole, looking kind of sick.  He was quite startled.  "What the fuck are you doing?" I ask incredulously!  My poor Harry! I swear I could see him shaking on his spindly rebar legs.  And do you know what Asshole said?  "Oh sorry I was just looking for somewhere to pee."  So  I say, "well you can't frigging pee here!!!  And why the hell would you come to the door?"  He didn't answer and I just stood there staring him down.

Eventually he shuffled about, looked embarrassed and said he was just looking for anything he could use to get food.  Food.  Ummhumm...sure.

I told him to just stay there for a minute, shut the door, and went to the kitchen and got him a quick sandwich made out of left over mushrooms and ground beef.  I grabbed a twenty and went back to the door half expecting  him to be gone.  But he wasn't!   So I extracted a promise from him to never come back to my house or cars, to tell his buddies to leave me alone and I would give him the sandwich and money.  I think he would have promised anything at that point.  He was so grateful that it was sad.  A sandwich and a twenty just shouldn't make that big a difference to a human.

Anyway I told him I expected him to honour our deal and if he ever really got into desperate trouble or "hunger" again to knock on my door and to just leave Harry...and Archie, the bristle Hedgehog for wiping boots that sits with Harry completely alone.  He kind of laughed and totally agreed.  So we shall see.

Jamie, Monte's good good friend from North Vancouver came for a visit!  Monte drove to Nanaimo and picked him up from the ferry and brought him up.  They had a great weekend and Monte drove him back to Nanaimo yesterday.  They went to the pub and played pool and when they were here at home they watched a show on youtube.  Oh my god, it was the stupidest grossest dumb show that only post pubescent boys would enjoy.  God it was stupid.  

Anyway its time to get ready to go to Bamfield this weekend and go camping.  I do believe it will be warmer than July 1st weekend!  And two of the nights we are there its the two peak nights for the meteor showers!  And we will be in Pachena where there isn't even one light.  Should be good...if the moon isn't too bright and it isn't raining.  TTYL

BROKEN AND SAD (NOT ME)

My trifle bowl!!!!  I have made a thousand trifles in my time in that bowl.  I am so sad.  I bought a new one a couple of years ago, very very similar.  The old one had tiny chips out of the rim.  But the new one just wasn't quite right.  It looked very similar but it was a titch off.  So I gave it to Sally Ann.  And now my beloved bowl broke today.

I don't use measuring cups, I go by the size of the pan, pot or bowl I am using.  Now, its true I occasionally have to dump my current mixture into a wee bit bigger pan, pot or bowl...but I try really hard not to do that.  I know how many vegetables to put in my soup in my copper pot.  I know how much flour to use in a batch of bread being made in my yellow enamel bowl.  And I know how many bananas it takes and how many packages of Sherrif pudding mix I need, and how how many banana bread pieces I need to fill my trifle bowl.   Sigh.

On another note, I am all curly again.  I decided to try out a new hairdresser here in town.  I did contemplate going to North Van to my really old one Annie.  Or to go back up to Kamloops to Orpha...she was super good.  But it would be pretty handy to find one here.

She is set up in her basement.  I must admit I was a wee tad worried.  Her place looked great but after chatting with her and showing pictures of me when my hair was exactly what I wanted, she kind of didn't get it. 

  I like my hair big....and wild....when its big it counterbalances the hump in my back.  (bad posture, fat, and double scoliosis). (shovel list, but I am used to it now and too old to give a crap). 
  I finally told her that and told her to stop trying to tame it down.  She finally either 'got it' or just didn't agree but the customer is always right.  She finally did what I went in there for.  Thank God!  It turned out great so that is another thing on my list checked off.

The next one was finding a serve me up gas station.  It rains here.  I have toxic hair that mustn't get wet and end up blinding me with little rivulets of toxic water running out of my hair.

So the only one in town is the Co-Op.  Become a member they say and you can own a little piece of it!  Sounds good to me!  So I pull in, the guy comes over, I tell him fill er up!  He does.  I give him my credit card and he goes to the wee booth right there and then, seriously!!!, he hollers out "What's your PIN number?"  WHAT?????  Are you kidding?  Turns out they don't have tap and the pin has to be put in manually.  So I lumber out, fortunately it wasn't raining at the moment, and go put it in.  So that kind of defeats the serve you option.  Geez!  Some things in this town are so unsophisticated, backwards and just plain dumb. Uncheck and keep looking.

So I am about to write a vent.  If you are vegetarian you might be pissed at what I am going to say, but then again you might just not give a hoot.

If you are vegetarian....be a vegetarian.  Stop with this 'plant-based' meat thing.  I hate that phrase 'plant-based' when in actual fact its a chemical shit storm.  My sister and I bought some highly (by a fellow customer) recommended 'plant-based burgers'...yeah, burgers...not!

Anyway we took them to her place and cooked them up.  If you like mushy, tasteless pretend pink meat, then you are in luck.  And when we  read the ingredient list, we couldn't pronounce most of it and didn't recognize any of it.  We bought these in a health food, very pricey store.

So in my humble opinion, if you are saving cows, and I am all for that, don't get me wrong, get a REAL veggie, as opposed to 'plant-based', burger. You know the kind that are full of quinoa, or rice, or peas and carrots or black beans and real plant-based vegetables.  And they are way more super duper tasty!

So in closing, here is a quote I found on a health site.

"Plant-based meat is absolutely safe — but it's not a healthfood. While there's a lot of uncertainty in nutrition science, and meatless meat may avoid the cancer risks of red meat, for the most part, it is probably about as good for you as the meatit's imitating.May 28, 2019


Time to go bbq!  TTYL