AMAZING AZAMARA AND OSAKA

I called this post ‘awesome Azamara’ for a good reason.  They are awesome.  The logistics of getting 600 people to Shanghai and accommodating them for one night just gives me the shivers.  But honestly the way this ship and its crew and peeps from headquarters have swung into action is simply awe inspiring.

We finally limped int0 Osaka tonight at five oclock.  On the dock were 25 “GO” people from all over the world that Azamara hq’s called in, waiting for us.  They got onboard, set up an area we can go to for help and within two hours had pretty much everybody’s new plans in order.  And of course they were the height of kindness and apologetic.  Even the chief number one CEO is onboard and talking to everyone.  Truly amazing.

Our plan is to fly to Shanghai, and they told us they would have porters there to help, and then we would be transferred to the Hyatt on the Bund for one night and then we continue on with our plans.  When I tentatively mentioned that we are actually staying the next four nights in the Peninsula on the Bund, he promptly said they would do everything they can to get us into the Peninsula one night earlier so we won’t have to move!  He is off doing that right now and he is coming back here (I am typing this in the Lido) to let us know.  Talk about service!!

After going through ridonculous immigration process (I am NEVER coming back to Japan...just for their immigration policies..so ridiculous) Spod and I took off exploring.  Right where we have docked is a huge massive complex that includes an aquarium, an arcade , a massive oversized ferris wheel and a fantastic market place/mall with a zillion crazy Japanese stores and some pretty impressive restaurants.  

We zipped around, had dinner in one of the restaurants, one chosen carefully to maximize the authentic Japanese experience.  When we got the very Japanese menu, we chose by picture...the server explained that all the dishes were Hawaiian, called loco moco.  It was truly authentic Hawaiian plate lunch dinners.  We had a good laugh about that!  It was mighty tasty.

We have all day tomorrow to poke about.  I packed yesterday...all done except for my little carry on and I made Spod pack today.  So we can go play tomorrow.  There seems to be a lot just around the ship.  In fact we could actually get on a ferry just outside and it would take us to Universal Japan!  But we won’t!  Ashopping we shall go.

Now its late, Spod looks beat and I am ready to go make my bed on the chairs.  Oh what I would give to be able to just climb into that big comfy bed, put my gasper on and bury under the blankets to my own private little world.  But...sneezing and nose caterpillars, and a horrible disabling back pain keep me outta there.  (I am feeling sorry for myself, can you tell?)  So I shall down the last of my mint tea and grab the old man and head off.  TTYL

TOKYO AND LOST PROPELLERS

So, Tokyo.....an incredible city.  Definitely not what I had expected!  This city is beautiful, clean, unbelievable architecture, history and really really mysterious weird stuff.

We have had two amazing days of tours and shows.  We have been to do several obligatory temples and palaces and such.  And we have done some shopping for some crazy stuff.  And last night we went to a beautiful garden with the most amazing pretty venue.  What a great place to get married!

In this venue were a number of very large rooms set up for us to flow from one to another and so on.  In each was something special.  Calligraphy,  geisha dancers, kabukyi (Japanese drama), candy art, writing your name on a piece of rice, drumming (all women and crazy thrilling) and best of all...sumo wrestling!  They plied us with endless saki, wine, coke and sushi, satay, and nibbles..truly a special night.

The Japanese people are the kindest most polite people y0u can ever encounter.  Vancouver could take a lesson or two!  

Have you ever been to a Japanese steak house...the old schooly type?  We were taken to one today for lunch.  It was truly a treat!  Each room held only ten of us.  We sat around a very hot stove top with a large fan over it.  In front of us was a beautiful salad, little dish of pickles and an assortment of sauces.  A chef then came in with vegetables and the most beautiful marbled beef you ever laid eyes...and proceeded to put on a terrific show of cooking it all.   So much fun.  And this steak house was set in the most beautiful Japanese gardens.  (side note here...we are about to cast off for Osaka, and outside on the dock is a ten piece drum band...unbelievable!!!!!  No words can describe this...I gotta go see...be right back!!)  Okay...that was nuts!  I video taped it so maybe I can post it here when I get back!

Now..the conundrum.  When I was up at the hairdressers and he had just come and got me, as we walked in, he picked up a promotional piece of brochure and suggested I think about doing the face, neck, upper back, head, foot and ankle massage.  So I told him immediately that I couldn’t because none of the robes fit me.  At first he looked confused, then incredulous then disbelieving.  So, before he could say a word, I said ‘Nope...don’t even think it...the big boy ones don’t fit either.  They just do not fit!”  So he put the paper down and we proceeded with the hair thingy.  Afterwards he said that it was a shame I couldn’t do the other.  I agreed with him//////Okay gonna stop right there with this story.

The captain just came on to say we are in trouble, and the whole cruise will be ending three days early in Osaka.  So anything to do with the appointment I finally made with Mr. Timothy is a moot point.

Apparently we hit something on the way into Tokyo and lost the use of our portside propeller.  We are going to slowly limp into Osaka, and that is where the cruise will end, not in Shanghai three days later like its supposed to.  They will somehow have to find everyone flights out of there to where ever it is they have to go.  The logistics on this hurts my brain.

I think that with us it will either be: fly us home right away (number one choice) or put us up in a hotel in Osaka for two nights then fly us to Shanghai so we get to our Shanghai hotel on time then fly home as scheduled on the 7th (second choice), and lastly, fly us to Shanghai, put us up for two nights somewhere then move to the previously reserved hotel til the 7th.  That one would be the cheapest, but my last pick.  Oh well, we could speculate til the cows come home and not know whats going to happen.  

And the people on this boat are NOT happy campers!!  True nature surfaces!!!  When I strolled down to the main desk area, it was forty people deep all frantically waving their arms and animatedly (nice word) trying to let everyone know that THEIR dilemma was the worst and needed attention first.  Ahhhh, people, gotta love ‘em.  All I know is I shall just simply not get off this boat til they have a plan for Spod and me.  And they definitely want us off this boat...early on the 1st, from what I can tell.  We do get to spend tomorrow in Osaka so I shall completely pack up today.  I love packing up the room.  Its a lot like throwing out the xmas tree on boxing day!

Once I know whats happening I shall come back here and post.  In the meantime I am going to go out and about and watch people at their finest!  TTYL

HAIR WASHING….(SHOVEL LIST)

As any regular reader here knows, I hate hair washing day. (shovel list big time).  It is such an ordeal.  I only wash my hair once a week, put it up in a pony and don’t touch it, other to tug the pony tighter, til the next wash day.  So that part is easy peasy, but on wash day I actually lose most of a day.  And if I start doing the math, I have lost one seventh of my life...all to stupid hair.

So yesterday was our first at sea day.  I decided that I would wash my own hair instead of going to the hairdresser.  I don’t know why I made that decision.  In retrospect it was a mighty stupid one.

The shower stall is even smaller than the smallest one we have seen before.  For showering you just get in, take down the shower head and don’t move too much.  But for hair washing you actually have to elbow out, raise arms, turn around etc....  What an unmitigated disaster that was.  The shower curtain was so stuck to me and twisted around I almost strangled..I am not kidding!  I managed to get my hair rinsed but no matter what I did, that frigging shower curtain was suctioned to me.  Finally, I got mad.  And when I am impatient and mad..well it never ends well.  That stupid shower curtain needed replacing by the time I was done.

And to top it all off, my hair turned out simply awful.  That shampoo in there is supposed to be good but not for me.  I could tell the minute it started to dry that my hair was not going to be doable.  So I phoned the salon, which is what I should have done to begin with, and made an appointment for right away and went up and had it done by a magnificent awesome black gentleman from Cape Town.    What a fantastic head massage he gave me.  I calmed right down and my hair turned out perfectly!  

Last night at dinner I noticed a little altercation happening at the table next to us.  One of the large ladies was NOT happy about something and the lovely other lady was gently trying to placate her, which wasn’t working.  I never got the gist of what the argument was.  At the end of their dinner, the nice one got up and went and got both of them some dessert.  But the other didn’t like what she got so she got up and went over herself.  When she came back she lost her balance, and started to weave backwards, never got her feet under her and down she went with a hell of a thump, dessert flying everywhere.  She was totally and completely pissed to the gills.  The staff roared over and managed to finally get her up and into her chair and she became very loudly belligerant.  I    Hate    Drunk    People.   ask my kids.  I have a real problem with drunk people.  I think its due to my past.  My kids are NOT allowed to get drunk around me...I can’t handle it.   So we gobbled up our dinner and got out of there.  They are at that table every night so I shall see how they are tonight.  Gotta bounce!  TTYL  ps  I forgot I was going to write about a conundrum   I will write about that tomorrow, this has become too long  sorry

JAPAN….ISLAND HOPPING/FOUR BITCHES AND WATER BUFFALO

I am going to write as though I will be able to post.  I am not sure what is going on, maybe it isn’t Japan and its just awful internet!  Shame on Azamara!

We spent one day island hopping near Okinawa and one day ww11- ing in Okinawa.

The three island day was a total hoot.  It was a really looong day.  We firstly hopped on a bus for a five minute ride (and with Spod ‘hopping’ on a bus is just a euphemism) then we hopped onto a really fast long people mover boat that tore across the sea for about 30 minutes.  The first Island had interesting beaches and ancient communities.  We walked all over.

Then onto a bus and over a bridge to another island where we hopped onto another type of boat and floated up a river for six miles..through mangroves.  Had a bit of a run in with four hags from California.  They were my age but acting like Housewives of Belair.  They were all decked out in jewelry and make up and thousand dollar garb.  They thought it was chilly and tried to keep the boat man from rolling up the plastic,  barely see through window coverings.  ‘Its cooold” they whined.  Each time he tried they would go “No no no no”.  Finally I piped up, not so nicely, “We need them rolled up so we can see and get pictures!  We can’t see with them down and I don’t think we all paid a ton of money for this...not to see and get pictures!”  So he rolled them up!  haha.  Now the cows are shunning me every time we are in the same area...thank God.  It was truly amazing and beautiful...took waay too many pics.

We then hopped on the bus and drove over a huge bridge to yet another island, a tiny one.  Waiting there were water buffalo pulling wagons that would hold about ten people.  So on we climbed and off we went over the water.  God we all were laughing so hard.  Our buffalo decided it was time to take a giant              dump ....honestly it was sooo funny!  On the other side we were led through a beautiful park/garden to a huge restaurant and we were served a beautiful delightful Japanese bento box lunch.  It was unbelievable!  So many little yummy treasures in that box.  Of course we got seated with a bunch that wouldn’t eat most of it, turning up their collective noses.  Seaweed, unknown fish, peanut tofu, seaweed soup, local rice, pickled tofu and radish, pork belly...all so delicious.  Spod and I licked our boxes.

It was simply a great day.  Yesterday we were all over Okinawa visiting World War two sites.  Very sad.  The Japanese headquarters were built underground, entered by 100 steps down a tunnel.  I don’t know what the heck I was thinking but not even half way down the steps I panicked and had to retreat, rapidly!  I spent a lovely hour in the park and met them all at the bus later.  What a baby!

Now its an at sea day and I just had my hair done.  This guy was way better than the last hairdresser I had on a ship!!! But a certain conundrem has arisen.  I will write about that next post!  TTYL

WOW IT POSTED!!!! TAIWAN

Due to incredibly high seas we were a little late getting into Taiwan.  We docked in a little seaport town near Taipei.  As we sat at a table in the buffet area waiting to hear our number called for disembarkation, yet another couple sat with us, him knowing everything in the whole world.  So annoying...just makes me want to argue, even if I agree. 

 Its a little different crowd on this boat.  A mix of Brits and Aussie with a few Americans thrown in.  And the general mean age is younger.  I am used to seeing doddering old folks, but this time its mostly people between my age and 70...pretty young for a cruising crowd.  And...they have money.

This cruise co. has two small ships and the cruises are called ‘club cruises’.  Highballs, cocktails, soda, specialty coffees are all included.  We also get two free excursions...really good ones.  They must have been desperate because we didn’t pay much for this cruise and they threw in free air fare and 75 bucks cruise money.

We bused into Taipei yesterday.  Taipei is a beautiful city, clean and very modern.  They sport the second tallest building on earth, The Berg in Dubai surpassed it by a little, and we went up!  It took thirty seconds on an incredibly fast elevator to go up 89 floors!  But...the loooooong line for the elevators reminded me of Disneyland.  Ridiculous!  I would have far rather been exploring the city below but it was a part of the tour.  Our tour guide also taught us a lot of the history of Taiwan...really interesting.  

Its really early in the morning right now and we are just pulling into Ishigaki, Japan.  We will be island hopping over 3 islands today and at one point we are to be riding in a water buffalo pulled cart...I can just see Spod and me now, hoisting ourselves into a teeny cart, and the poor cow won’t be able to pull us.  Apparently it pulls us through water to somewhere....I think I will wear my boots just in case I have to get out and push.

Wish us luck!  Hopefully we will make it back in one piece and together!  TTYL

XIANAMEN DAY FIVE…ROCKING AND A ROLLING

I am not sure if its me or the people on this boat.  I know that because I am taking antihistamines I am particularly cranky.  But it seems this boat is full of old men know it alls.

Yesterday,  we were heading down to deck five to where the gang plank was.  This old dude was standing with his wife in the aft elevator area telling everyone that you had to go down the middle set of elevators.  You see, on the big ships there are elevators forward, midship and aft.  But on these little ones there is no mid ship.  And all the old people didn’t know this.  

So I stepped up and very kindly explained, and even showed them on the map that is right there, that there is no midship and we were to disembark near the aft elevators.  

Well he acted like I had shot him.  He sucked in his breath, stuck his British nose in the air and “I say miss, I was talking here.  You cawnt just come along and insert yourself into a private conversation!!!  I have sailed many a sea on many a ship and I like to think I am somewhat more experienced with sea issues”  or something like that.  He was very loud and snotty.  I apologized, like the good Canadian that I am but a lady stepped up and said that I was right..just look at the map!  Hahaha...buffoon!  He would have had them all wondering around in the wrong place.  He was pretty embarrassed and hurrumphy..I kind of felt sorry for him.  No I didn’t.

Yesterday we got off in a heavily customed/immigration Chinese city.  A very beautiful city I might add.  Clean and very modern.  The shuttle bus puked us out in the middle of nowhere on a very busy impossible to cross road.  Spod and I wandered down until we found an underground tunnel to take us across.  Within minutes we  found a Starbucks, KFC, McD’s, Burger King....we picked Starbucks.  I ordered a latte...but the milk here in China (and they use the same milk on the ship) tastes like a combination of evaporated and dried skim milk.  Blehh!  Good thing though because that cuts out all cream desserts, lattes, mashed potatoes from my eating list.  They were already cut off but now there won’t be any temptation.

We found a bank of China to exchange money.  Oh my God!!!  We were in there for almost an hour!  It took forever to get them to understand what we wanted, and that all we had with us was a copy of our passport, the ship kept the real one, and while we were going through all this an old lady and an old man got into the most horrible shouting match/fight!  I thought they were going to kill each other.  Crazy people!  Meanwhile out in the lobby where there were many ATMs, a young boy was helping his mother at one of them and she kept screaming at him and hitting him.  And the Asian ladies can be very very screechy and loud.

We walked all over the place and took a few pics.  I tried loading them onto fb but they just wouldn’t go.  The internet here on the ship is really bad.  And apparently in Japan, due to heavy regulations, the ship has to keep changing satellites to try to find internet.  Xanamen is a University city so there were a lot of good looking young people there.  There are soooo many rich and extremely well to do people in China.  Some of the older people try to cling to the old ways but they are being totally eclipsed by the rich.

Today it is Taipei in Taiwan.  We have an excursion at 12:30.  Its breakfast time so I am going to venture out and see if I can pick a fight with another old dude.  TTYL   Ps:  We were heading up for breakfast just now and half way there it dawned on us that Spod forgot to put his ears on (hearing aids) and I forgot to put in my teeth.  Jeez!

HONG KONG DAY 3 (I THINK) CAST OFF

Finally, we are about to set sail for somewhere in China.  The smog in this place is killing me.  You can’t see very far, which is claustrophobic,  and the smog is burning the inside of my nose off.  I do believe we shan’t be coming back here.

Spod kind of rallied yesterday.  He was  weak and wobbly and for sure his thinking was even slower and more muddled.  I phoned down to the concierge and asked for a hand with luggage and a car to the cruise terminal.  He called back to tell us that the little ship we were looking at out our hotel window was our ship.  They would come up, pick our luggage up and walk us to the ship. Hahahaha!!  Could not have been easier!  This whole trip has been like that.

This ship, the Azamara Journey is very small.  The hallways, the room everything is quite small.  Its nice, not such a long haul to anywhere you would want to go.  Only 600 passengers so no really long line ups for anything.  Its a club cruise which means you get free pop and water and lattes etc...it also includes some excursions and shows on land.

We have had the GREAT fortune to meet a couple of gentlemen so far.  They stopped at our table to talk a while.  One of them went on and on and on about how Kaui is so much better than Maui.  Yeah right!  He said Maui was too crowded.  What???  Kaui is tiny.  I guess if all you want to do is sit in your condo and drink scotch all day..then yes Kaui is just fine.  Buffoon!

The next big old fat guy that happened along had a camera hanging around his neck.  A canon.  He asked what mine was and I said Nikon.  He went on and on and on why canon was better than nikon.  I told him that , yes, I really like canon, have had them before, have a smaller one now, but I read just enough reviews from people complaining about the canon focus unit, which happened to be a complaint of mine, that I went with Nikon.  Hahaha,he says, I read the same thing but the other way around.  He frigging well DID NOT!!  Bull shit!!!  I have read thousands of reviews and not once has there been a complaint about Nikon and focus.  Jerk!!  I hate people.  If you hear of a peopleless island for sale, let me know.

Now we are sitting up in the upper lounge, right at the front, looking out at our hotel!  We leave in half an hour.  I think Spod is going to a lecture and I am going to go to our tiny room for a nap.

I still can’t sleep in beds.  Within four minutes (I timed it) my back seizes up.  And this room only has a teeny tiny couch.  The seat is so narrow that  when I am seated, the edge of the seat only comes halfway along my butt.  So, using umpteen pillows and a chair off the deck I have gerryrigged an adequate sleeping arrangement.  Except, around two in the morning I slid off onto the floor, waking me up most rudely.  I started to laugh and woke up Spod.  But now I need a nap!

I shall be back here tomorrow after a walkabout in a town somewhere on the China coast.  TTYL

HONG KONG…DAY 2…SICKER THAN A DOG

We had a wonderful day yesterday.  We went down for their buffet breakfast with their millions of choices.  We then lazed around our room for a while reading and watching the olympics.

When we finally left we stepped out of our hotel lobby door, turned the corner and hopped onto the Star Ferry to the other side.  We then hopped onto a Big Bus and went all the way out to Stanley Market.  What an awesome place!  We lunched, shopped and made friends and rode the bus back to the ferry.

Last night we decided to go to the sumptuous extravagant  seafood/beef buffet downstairs.  It was truly remarkable.  Lobster, crab, whelk (giant escargot..and I mean giant) sea cucumber, jelly fish, oysters 100 ways, sashimi and clams.  And there was kobe beef, duck, prawns and on and on.  The desert table was crazy!!!  Macaroons, ice-cream, chocolate fountain and more.

About one in the morning I was awakened by a very very sick Spod.  That poor guy barfed until I thought he was going to die!  He couldn't even talk without heaving.  And he did this every hour until morning.  And this is only the second time in his whole life he has puked…so it was scary and new for him.  Now he is all shaky and wobbly but seems to be on the mend.  Poor guy!

Now we are packing up and getting ready to transfer over to the ship.  Thank heavens for concierges.  They will get our luggage and get us a car.  Magic people!  

I love that moment when you get on the ship and find your room and walk in and shut the door.  Its an awesome feeling knowing you are there for the next while and nothing but great things will happen for at least two weeks…at least until we start running into the cruisers.  Ah well….more about that later!!!!  TTYL

CAN'T GO

I am pretty disappointed.  We were going to go out to Disneyland here in Hong Kong but apparently a lot of it is under maintenance and it isn't worth going.  I was really looking forward to it.  This is their slow time of the year so it makes sense to do all the maintaining now.  I remember this from Disneyland in LA.  Going in the winter means not being able to do some things.  Oh well….next time.

We didn't do too much yesterday.  Jet lag and allergies are killing us.  Today seems a little better and we aren't sure what we are going to do yet, its still early.

Yesterday we headed into the shopping mall beside our hotel.  The deeper and further we got the more it became evident that this mall was NOT for us.  You either had to be a filthy rich Chinese mainlander (and there are thousands of them) or ultra tiny and skinny.  At some point we decided to get out of there.  And we couldn't.  Have you ever been in a casino and you can't find your way out?  Thats what this was like.  No matter which way we went, we couldn't see an outside window or door.  We were stuck in that freaking place for over an hour.  And there was no point in asking for help because, contrary to what we have been told out there in real world, nobody speaks English.  At least not in a high end, endless shopping mall.

We finally got spit out right at the ferry landing.   That is the start of a very very long interesting promenade that looks across to the other part of Hong Kong.  Later we went back to a restaurant we were in before and had Peking duck dinner.  Yummmm.

Now its time to figure out what we are doing today.  Maybe go get lost in Kowloon!  That could be fun!  TTYL

HONG KONG….DAY ONE

What a crazy trip over.  We were in the air for about fourteen plus hours…loooooong trip.  We watched five movies, had two hot meals and one lunch, made five trips to the loo, drank a ton of water and still dehydrated, and met tons of Asians.  They are so much fun to travel with.  I find a plane load of Asians, as opposed to white people, or east Indians or whatever,  way more eccentric and unexpected and sooooo friendly.  We had an aisle and next to aisle seat in the middle.  And…amazingly on this very full plane, the seat between me and the far aisle seat remained vacant..BONUS!!!  But the little older Asian lady who sat in the aisle seat was just a tad crazy.  

She was very very short and couldn't reach the air vent blower thingy obove our seats.  She hopped up on the seats (she was really cold) and made sure hers and the empty seat vent were closed.  Now, when I travel I keep mine blowing full blast right smack on me, even if I get cold.  Not only does it keep my blood pressure down but I don't swell up and I have read that its the best way to not pick up bugs from other people.  The air is fresh, not circulated, and it keeps the air on my face clean.  Ever since I started to do this I have not gotten sick right after flying.

Well, she was determined to turn mine off.  I kept shaking my head and hands and telling her to leave it, but no, she turned it off and got down.  I then undid my seatbelt (shovel list for fat people) and stood up, turned it back on and made a showing that I was pointing it more my way.  She wasn't too happy.

She then started acting like a mother.  She insisted I put the arm rest up, and I like it down and try explaining that to someone that speaks zero english.  As soon as I put it down she would reach across the vacant seat and push it up.  Jeez!!  All the while talking along in Chinese.  Next, when our meal came, she kept trying to give me a bite off her fork..over and over.  And when I put the vacant seat table down to put my drink on, no room left on mine, she would take my stuff, drinks etc.  and put them on hers and lift the table back up.  Later she lay down across the two seats, put down her bags and pillows to make this makeshift bed and put her head and upper back right on my side!  For two hours.   And no matter how much I moved or shrugged she just went with it and stayed there!  In the last one and a half hours, she very elaborately and thoroughly picked her nose, putting the findings in a kleenex or flicking onto the floor.  I just heaved a little here telling this.  When I started sneezing and blowing my nose (damned allergies) she dug around, opened up the barf bag, gave it to me and indicated to put my used kleenex into it, then proceeded to put on a surgical mask.  Ayyaiyai.

The trip has been so easy and smooth.  We walked our bags from the Fairmont hotel down to Air Canada…first in line and got checked in immediately, went to security and no waits or hold ups, sailed right through, paid for the lounge and really enjoyed that, went to the gate just as they called our row to board, went straight through customs here, all the baggage arrived safe and sound, and we were met at the exit by the hotel limo driver.  Out to the car and he gave us a running commentary on what we were seeing straight to the hotel

We were met at the car by a lovely girl who took us immediately to the elevators up to our room on the fifteenth floor.  She did all the check in in our gorgeous room at the lovely desk in here.  As soon as she was done in came our bags.  Such royal treatment!  And the view is spectacular.

We were both hungry and planned to go out and find something to eat.  But by the time we unpacked a little and set our gaspers (cpap) up, we hit that wall.  Instead we made a couple of cup of noodles from the bar in here and proceeded to pass  out.

Right now its four in the morning.  I was out cold by eight last night and slept through to four.  But the two nights now that we are gone, so far, I have had to sleep in a chair.  Within five minutes laying down on a bed, my back seizes up and I can't move.  So no beds for me right now.  Its a shame cuz the beds in these five star hotels are amazing.

Today we will be going around Hong Kong city but we have something spectacular and fun planned for tomorrow.  I can't wait and I aint saying what it is til tomorrow!!!    (don't want to jynx it)  TTYL

WARNING: THIS IS A PURPLE ROOM VENT

Allergies.  They are killing me.  Seriously.  We are in the YVR airport and starting this morning waking up in the Fairmont here at the airport, I started to sneeze, eyes running, head pounding.  What the hell is with that?  I have NEVER had allergies in my whole freaking life and now they are simply out of control.  It feels like a hundred caterpillars are up my nose and my eyes feel like they have wiggling sand in them.  And I have sneezed 102 times in the last two hours.

 I bought lovely new make up, something I quit wearing a long time ago, and a whole new face cleansing system (infomercial influence).  My thoughts on this were that for the 25 days of this trip, I would commit to trying to look like the other ladies I see on cruises.  They all have glowing faces with full makeup and jewelry.  I want to see just how hard it is to keep up with this regimen of trying to look good…or at least better.  I packed enough jewelry (which I buy but never wear) to make ten kids playing dress up happy.  But…

If my eyes are turning inside out and my nose is running and I am sneezing my brains out, make up will be a no go.  But I can clean and treat my face every night and morning.  The system I bought into looks like a good one, and they promise that I only have to replace once a month.   The package got held up back east, I thought I wouldn't get it in time, but it arrived just as we were leaving.

I opened the box and there they were….ten teeny tiny tubes.  Each tube represented a step in the daily process.  I read the instructions and looked at the tiny amount and apparently this will last a month.  Well, not on my face.  One cheek of mine is the same area space as another lady's whole face.  I predict this stuff isn't going to last a week, which won't matter anyway because my patience for applying this system EVERY DAY will way disappear long before the little tubes are empty.  But I am going to try.

On another note, the airfare for this trip was free.  When I bought the cruise, they had an offer, free airfare.  And because I know our Vacationstogo agent so well he got us direct flights on AirCanada.  In light of this free trip, I decided we could afford an extra bag.  In my ticket info they said the extra bag would be 70.00 each way.  Yay!!

When we got to the ticket counter and it was time to pay for the bag, he said 100.00.  I mentioned that in my info they said 70.00.  He didn't even bother to answer me.  Bastards!  And…because the trip was free we decided to avail ourselves of the lounge.  For 25 bucks apiece we get a lovely private lounge, free food and coffee.  Later in the day you get beer and wine free as well.  So here we are, in the lounge, eating a lovely breakfast, drinking lattes, reading the paper and listening to Kenny G music.  (shovel list…Kenny G should be banned from public areas).  We board in an hour.  The life of Riley I say!!!  Next post…Hong Kong. TTYL  (if we don't crash.  12 1/2 hour flight)

OFF AGAIN OFF AGAIN JIGGETY JIG

Well we are off again.  Tomorrow is our last day to get ready.  I am not quite so excited this time.  I really love our house and our life here in Langford and I am not quite so enthusiastic to give it up for the next month.  When we get home on March 7 we will have just under three weeks before heading off to Maui for three months.  At least in Maui most of our kids will be visiting us at one time or another.

I was in the shower today, washing my hair (shovel list..just in case I haven't said it enough).  When I got out I dried my face off first and lifted my face up to dry my neck ……  and saw a big dark spider, HUGE, up in the corner.  I freaked and damn near dashed out of the bathroom…starkers, that would not have been good.  I scooped up a boot that was laying there and winged it with almighty force into the corner and as the boot crashed down, knocking a load of crap six ways to seven, I saw that the damned thing didn't even move!  Still in blind (I didn't have my glasses on yet) panic I scooped up the other one and fired it even harder at the spider.  Again it didn't budge.  What the hell?  I grabbed my glasses, put them on and looked up…at a  previously unnoticed brass hook in the ceiling.  Okay…I felt pretty stupid and it really did scare the crap out of me.

Weight is exactly the same as last week.  And this week's challenge is…well lets say batty.  Yes, its batty.  And this is one week I WILL NOT BE DOING IT.  In fact this author is beginning to piss me off.  I have a life, one I really like, and it seems each week that lovely life is getting less and less doable.  I am going to list what she says so here goes:

Keep the outdoors outdoors.  Yup!  According to her we pack in all kinds of chemicals and allergens when we come inside.  And how to go about fixing this?  Well here is a simplified list of what she thinks we should do about this.

1.  Institute a no shoe policy in your house…including the queen should she come to visit
2.  Create a buffer zone from outside to inside, a place to remove coats and shoes and leave them there.
3.  Make sure the floor is a hard surface in this zone.  If it isn't, rip up a section of your carpet and replace with tile or hardwood.
4.  Accessorize:  shoe scraper, outside mat, inside mat, shoe mat dryer, a bench, an exhaust fan, hooks and baskets.

Hahahaha!!  Are you kidding me?  I am beginning to think this book was written by an uptight germaphobe.  I shall keep up with every Monday mentioning the next good thing, but I am getting that old familiar "ridicule it" feeling.  We will see. I still haven't looked ahead so we will see just how silly this gets.  Although I think its going to be hard to beat this weeks challenge!!  TTYL

MY PRINTERS LEARN TO FLY

What is it about printers?  The damn things…they drive me crazy!!!  There is always something not working.  Why can't we just push print and the freaking thing just simply prints?  Maybe (probably) yours does.  Mine does NOT!!!  I hate printers!!!(shovel list to the power of infinity)


Today I decided that I had best get all our trip stuff printed.  Things can go wrong with confirmations, schedule screw ups etc and there is only two full working days left to fix stuff.

I have the printer under my desk (maybe not the best spot, I have been known to kick printers across the room and out the back door into the toolies)  I get all my files lined up and in order, ready to hit print.  The first one is locked and loaded and my finger hovers over the print button…I pray a little..'please…just print   please…just print….please just do it'.  I push print and…..nothing.  I push again.  Nothing.  What the hell???!!!! 

 So I go through the normal check list, cursing and swearing and smacking the thing.  The printer is plugged in.  The usb cord hasn't fallen out of the impossible dark hole it has to go into on the back of the printer, the printer is turned on, there is lots of paper, its full of new ink…WHAT THE HELL!!  I go over the check list again and again and nope! nothing.  Finally in very frustrated angry defeat I use the other, wireless printer thats set up downstairs.  It works just fine, of course, even though I can't even see it, hear it and I am miles away from it.  Pisses me off!

Later as I was straightening all the printed stuff out I noticed the USB cord..the one that is plugged into the printer in that dark hole…the other end is sitting on the desk…not plugged into the lap top. Ach fer Jeez…I am so stupid.  But I still hate the printer.

Anyway, I got it all sorted out, changed the passport numbers to the new ones and we are ready to go.  I still have to fine tune my packing.  I am taking two suitcases..I don't care if I have to pay for a second one.  The airfare was free, it came with the cruise we bought and the cruise was cheap so I can pay the seventy bucks for the second suitcase.  Fifty pounds barely covers my two jeans and my underwear.  And Spod just told me that it could get hot in Shanghai so now I need to pack for two weather types.

I think I had best go to bed.  I am very very cranky.  My allergies are killing me.  I took two sinutabs..which totally helped the allergies but they make me so sleepy and really pissed off with everything.  TTYL

DANCING IN THE HALL

Spod and I just finished dancing a bouncy awesome slowdance in the hallway.  If anyone actually saw us they would have cracked up.  But the song was so awesome we couldn't help it.

One reason I can't wait to go away for a while next week is allergies.  Something in this house is killing me.  My eyes are swollen shut, my nose feels like caterpillars climbed up there and are wiggling and I have sneezed more in the last month than my whole life times a hundred put together.  I never used to have any sympathy for allergy people.  Buck up I used to think.  Mind over matter.  Yeah right!  Karma has royally kicked my butt.

I feel like such crap right now I am going to call it a day.  I apologize for this awful post.  I am seeing double at the moment (not that that is going to go away) and I am in a kind of awful depressed disturbed shaky state from watching three seasons of Walking Dead in the last two days.  Oh my God!!  Some twisted stuff there but I really love the post apocalyptic genre of shows.  And as I thought the zombies hardly play a part in the show now and its all about what kind rat shit bastards we humans can be.  I love it but boy is it ever difficult to watch right through.  

So with apologies I shall TTYL

WEEK 6……EASY PEASY THIS TIME

This week's challenge is an easy and obvious one. Take a multi vitamin every day, just in case you are missing a key element in your diet.  So there you go.  Nothing dramatic or life changing.  And I still weight 264…doesn't change.  I have been pretty good at keeping up with the challenges.  The only one that takes a hit now and again is walking the dog twice a day.

Andrew came over yesterday and picked up his final things.  He is such a fine person.  We took him to Asian Cuisine dinner (read Chinese Buffet) last night and had such a good time.  He seems to be a lot stronger and moving past all the pain.  I will be so happy for him when all the hoopla is well behind him.

Today we bought toilets.  Three of them to be exact.  I asked the boys to make sure to get me one that turbo flushes.  I hate wimpy flushers (shovel list).  Now from what I can see most toilets cost between sixty and 125 bucks.  And two of the toilets were pretty much that.  But mine, holy moly, it is the  limousine of all toilets ever made.  Its extra high, elongated, flush handle (not buttons) and a syphonated turbo flush.  I can't wait to use it!  And if I read the receipt correctly, it was about 300 bucks.

They also picked up the marble topped vanity for the bathroom downstairs.  It was put by fork lift into the back of Myles truck.  It was carefully driven home, down the side of the house and…..there was no way they could lift it out.  It said on the box that it was 276 pounds!!  So there it was, out in the open, a 850 dollar vanity, stuck in the back of an open truck!!  Off to Home Depot to buy lumber to make a ramp.  While they were pricing out the very expensive wood to make the ramp, the Home Depot lady suggested that for the price of one 4x6 (4.95) they could rent a ramp for four hours for five bucks…and thats what they did.  

Now it is 1 in the morning and I am tired.  Off to bed.  Sorry this was such a boring post.  TTYL

WE ARE ALIVE…MYSTERIOUS DAY

As you can see, we came out of yesterday's adventure in one piece!  But holy cow!!  what an adventure.

The locksmith guy was about forty minutes.  Bill talked with a neighbour who told us that "some rich lady from west Vancouver owned the house, hadn't lived in it for ten years, some guy came around once in a blue moon and took mail in, and the house needed to be torn down and the lot was worth 450,000 and a couple of neighbours wanted to buy it."  Okay then!

Aryn and Bradley showed up and we walked around the very rundown, haunted looking house and peeked in windows and took stock of the yard.  Pretty sad sight.  Finally locksmith guy arrived and busted out the lock and got the door open.  We walked into the place completely blind to what we would maybe find.

The place was a mess, but not from junk so much as boxes and stuff here and there, gyprock gone, flooring gone and….sadly we did find a couple of dead cat bodies.  A mamma and a young one.  Can you imagine just leaving and letting your pets die of starvation and thirst?  Who the hell does that?

  But….a bedroom, bathroom, kitchen and office area had obviously been well lived in and taken care of.  But….no one had been there for many many years.  Things just seemed to have stopped in 2006.

  It was just eerie, it was like someone had just simply got up, walked out the door and never came back.  Things were just left right there…a coffee cup, an old computer on the desk with papers right there…mid work, clean dishes upturned on a dish rack, bedroom bed all made, clothes in the closet, jewelry in little bowls on her bathroom counter, kayaking medals hanging on the wall.  In the other parts of the house were packed and sealed boxes, with her name on them, from Edenvale…a restoration company.   I picked up bits and pieces and read random mail and files and name tags etc…and bit by tiny bit a picture emerged.

I took a ton of pictures and information with me when we left.  On the ferry I googled her name and dug and dug and finally put together a probable scenario.

About ten years ago her house was flooded by a broken water main above her house.  The water flooded the house and made a horrific mess.  The insurance companies got involved, thus the restoration boxes.  But, we know from when she initially got hold of us for a mortgage, it didn't go well and she needed to sue the city of Surrey.  Thats all we know about that.  

In about 2006 she had to move out of the mould growing house.  She moved to her mother's very expensive home in West Vancouver.  Thats when she came to us for a mortgage…to take care of those problems.  In 2008 her mother died and left her and her brother very rich people.

Now here is the part that I finally found out with a little research.  She put a large chunk of money into an account where the mortgage payments automatically came out of each month.  Her last tax year that she paid property taxes was 2009.  She sold off everything she owned, except for that house, and moved to Great Britain for a while, then moved to Kansas for a while and then in 2010 came back to Canada…Bowen Island to be exact.

This woman is a kayaking aficionado.  She has won many competitions, and at one time was the top kayaker in North America.  She is an instructor of instructors.  She ran a teaching school on Thetis Island for a while.  She became involved in helping set up Steamship Days on Bowen Island and from what we can tell, she is living there today!  She bought a Monk 35 foot boat and it is moored at the Steamship Marina on Bowen Island and is living in it.

 So now I will try to get hold of her and see what she would like done with the property.  It is such a good feeling to finally be able find out what has happened to the owner of the house.  There are a few in our past where even after we have cleaned out their place and sold it, we have never found out what happened to the owner.  The only reason we ended up going after her is because even though she makes her payments, she neglected to pay property taxes.  The house almost got sold for taxes.  Thats too big a risk for us to take so we need to talk to her.

All in all though it was a really interesting day.  I shall put some pics on here.  TTYL

ITS IN A BEAUTIFUL NEIGHBOURHOOD

WAITING WITH BAITED BREATH AND A LITTLE TREPIDATION 

HER BEDROOM

EVIDENCE OF RATS

VERY FIFTIES PICTURE

GOD ONLY KNOWS

I THOUGHT THIS MANTLE WAS BEAUTIFUL

THIS WAS THE UNFORTUNATE SUITE DOWNSTAIRS

THE DEADLY BLACK MOULD

WE COULD BE SHOT TODAY….OR TRAUMATIZED!

Its pretty early in the morning and we are preparing to leave to Surrey and bust into a house, legally.  I was talking to Monte last night and started to list all the times we have done this over our 33 year career…and it was a lot.  And every time is quite different.  A lot of them we know what has happened, but a few have remained a complete mystery.  Why people would just disappear and leave behind property with equity in it is just plain strange.

By the looks of things as they are right now the house has remained exactly the same for at least the past five years, and it does look neglected from the outside.  Like I said in the last post, there is always the possibility of finding dead people, or getting shot, or it just be a boring bust.  We will see later today.

We had dinner with my cousin Dorothy last night at Bin 4…the place our real estate lady gave us a gift certificate for when we bought this place.  The food was delicious then, not so much last night.  Its a gourmet hamburger joint and I ordered the spicy apple chorizo hamburger.  You would never have know there was either chorizo or apple in it.  A big disappointment and we won't be going back there any time soon.  But we had a fantastic visit with Dorothy, caught up on all of that family news…and there was lots of it!  We had a lovely evening.

We spent most of yesterday going to motor vehicle branches, icbc, etc…changing addresses.  I also went back to fat lady store and exchanged two items.  There was no apology or anything for the incorrectly packaged tights.  They are not that organized or friendly at this fat lady store.  'whine' I want my old one!  I think I will just stick to shopping in North Van when the opportunity arises.

Well I hear Spod bumbling around out there so I think its time to go.  I have instructed April to come on this blog and say good bye from me to all of you should we get killed today!  Hopefully I will TTYL!