I WILL REPORT ON NEW YEARS IN THE POST AFTER THIS ONE

 I think I mentioned that I get twelve essays a day and my brain is truly expanding by every read.  But today an older female writer posted an essay with questions for us to answer and she answered them too.  It was fun.  I am going to do that here...now.  Lucky you guys.  

1.  Who are you named after?... an old lady we visited the one time we came down from Smithers to Vancouver.  Her name was Helen and her house smelled like old lady.  I met her only that once.

2.  When was the last time you cried?...I listen to music all the time and I cry every single time a good one comes on.  I can't help it and it is embarrassing.

3.  What is your favourite lunch meat?..baloney.

4.  Do you like your handwriting?...absolutely not

5.  Do you have kids?...five...two over fifty, two under forty and a beloved step daughter in her forties. (plus more step kids that I super like too)

6.  Do you use sarcasm?...yes, but not as a weapon.  It's the fat me trying to be the fat funny one in the room.

7.  Do you still have your tonsils?...Geez I didn't think anyone my age still had tonsils.  When I was twelve I faked a sore throat to get out of school.  My mom took me to a Dr. in Telkwa...in a hotel room no less, and she told me I had tonsilitis.  She sent me to a neighbouring (a long way away actually)  a hospital to have them taken out.  If I had known how freaking painful it would be I would NOT have lied.

8.  Would you bungee jump?  ummmm...that would be a hard no.  In fact I think bungee jumpers are chronic attention getters who will do anything to get that ever chased notice.  On the edge of being crazy.

9.  Do you think you are strong?  that would be another hard no!! Ten years ago I could pack and move a whole big house by myself.  I can't even carry an empty box now without falling over.  I kinda relate to those goats that just fall over for no reason.

10. What is your fave ice cream.  Hageen Das caramel cone explosion.  Hands down!!!

11. What is the first thing you notice about a person?  Whether they tolerate me being nosey.  I want to know everything about them..kinda like a snake grabbing that dead rat out of your hand..pounce!!

12. What is the least favourite thing about yourself?  My lack of filters.  Seriously.  It's a lifelong problem.  At 73 I don't know why anyone talks to me anymore.

13. Football or baseball?  neither...hate them both equally.  My least fave reality shows.

14. What colour pants are you wearing?  Skin colour.  Hahaha!!!

15. Last thing you ate?  Breakfast French toast casserole.  Absolutely divine.  First one I have ever made.

16. Favourite crayon colour.  Teal

17. Favourite smell?  coffee in the morning or maybe rain on hot pavement or that ozone smell of the first hint of snow coming and cigarette smoke...blow it my way!  Sadly no one smokes anymore.

18. Favourite food?...raw wieners and homemade thousand islands dressing.

19.  Scary or happy movies?  either as long as they aren't soppy romance ones.  Two sounds I can't handle -  dogs eating dog food and people kissing.

20. What colour shirt are you wearing?  One of my shirts from 2003 that I bought after the house burnt down.  One of the ones, like a hoarder, I can't throw out...and should.  It used to be black but it is so old it has turned a kind of weird dark greenish hue.

21.  Last one...fave holiday.  Hands down, nothing competes with Mother's Day.  I absolutely love Mother's Day.

Now thats more than you ever wanted to know about me.  I just hope you answered your own answers to the questions.  It was fun.  And for those who actually read this whole post....you are the bestest!!!

TFL&TTYL

   

IT'S A CHOICE

OF COURSE THEY ARE ALL OUT OF ORDER.  I SPENT THE ENTIRE DAY GETTING XMAS EVE FOOD READY.  TODAY, XMAS DAY, I AM BAGGED.  SO TURKEY HAS TO WAIT TIL TOMORROW.  THIS WAS MY XMAS MORNING BREAKFAST IN BED.

EVERY TIME MONTE HAS A BRILLIANT IDEA A LIGHT ON HIS HEAD COMES ON.

WE COULDN'T FIT THE DESSERTS OR THE SPINACH DIP ON THE COFFEE TABLE.

THE MAIN SHOW.  THERE WERE ONLY THREE OF US.  THERE IS AN OBSCENE AMOUNT OF FOOD LEFT OVER.  THAT WILL BE TODAY'S SUSTENANCE.  TOM HAS TO WAIT TIL TOMORROW.  TIL THEN HE WILL SIT ON THE DECK IN THE COLD...COLDER THAN THE FRIDGE WHERE HE WOULDN'T FIT ANYWAY.

 The title of this post is basically my motto.  Now you people that are around me a lot, if you actually read this thing, know that I don't always remember to exercise that thought.  I try to but I am getting old you know and forget things.  lol.  

So with that in mind I gave myself a good talking to this morning when I woke up at 1:00 am.  I woke up sad for heaven's sake.  (shovel list) I took time to analyze why was I morose and unhappy. I wasn't really sure. 

 But April had sent a text how she was missing the childhood excitement for xmas, Santa on the roof...she is sure she heard him one night in our old old house, the plethora of gifts and stuffed stockings (or should I say garbage bags as the stockings would never hold it all), delicious food and candy and things we never got otherwise.  There was so much excitement, surprises and fun.  I responded by saying that there wasn't an adult out there that didn't mourn the old times with our little children and also when we were kids ourselves. 

 I have a dislike for parents, that in the silly light of 'not lying' to their kid,  dispel the Santa myth.  Meanest thing on the planet!!!  To deprive them the very few years of true belief and faith in a Santa is really awful and mean. Says something about a parent that would be so misguided.  Kids figure it out eventually and I have never ever heard of a child holding it against the parent for not telling them there is no Santa. I have heard of kids being very resentful of a disbelieving parent! And if the parent handles it well, it can be explained in a most fantastical way.  You know who you are out there!!!!  Shame on you and missing that magical time with your children. In my opinion only!

Back to the analyzing.  I realized that I am missing being with all my family, no tree, nothing special happening, no presents, no overstuffed garbage bags standing in for stockings.  No little oranges that back in the day you could only get at Christmas.  Then you would keep the wooden box they came in to use on the front seat between Mom and Dad for the youngest kid to sit on.  yikes!!  And no driving around looking at xmas lights.  No one seems to be doing them this year.

So I gave myself a shake, wrote on my gratitude list, reminded myself that it is a choice how this xmas is going to go and started to get excited about the plan the three of us came up with.

So xmas eve is where it happens.  Xmas day is all turkey dinner day...making it, eating it and cleaning the kitchen afterwards.

All three of us happened to be in the living room so I asked them what we should do xmas eve.  I said we can't just sit around and stare at each other.  Games are out.  Mr. Autistic doesn't play games.  Talking is out.  He doesn't talk/visit either.  Movies are out.  He doesn't watch tv at all.  Like what the heck are we going to do?  Ange did mention movies and he went along with that!!!  I suggested a xmas movie but he piped up that we should watch a Bollywood musical!!!  I am not sure if Ange was too excited about that, poor thing, but I dove on it and and YES YES YES!!!  The fact that he was even willing to watch something at all, not only was a big thing....it kinda made my xmas.

So I have chosen to hakuna matata (sp?) and enjoy.  I do get to cook.  Tonight we have blueberry balsamic slow cooker meatballs (blueberry only because stupid Walmart delivery doesn't have grape jelly..shovel list), cranberry balsamic baked brie, surimi, prawn and scallop seafood dip using yorkshire puddings for the dip, spinach dip, one with chestnuts and one without, small charcuterie board, creamed corn and salsa dip with scoops, triscuits and ritz crackers, banana peanut butter honey roll ups and sliced like sushi.  I wanted some smoked salmon but this town doesn't have any.  I mean Aryn got some in Dawson, a gerjillian miles from the ocean and here we are on the ocean but noooo..no smoked salmon anywhere.  And if that isn't enough I have fifty wieners in the fridge and pilsbury wiener wraps and then all the pickles and olives and Kathy's pickled beets.  A real Xmas eve.  I also made a three sandwich loaf batch of stuffing. There's a ton of it for the huge turkey.  

Then the baking.  I didn't bake at all.  I don't want to be worn out to the point I can't make dinner tomorrow.  So I ordered brownies, squares, little cinnamon buns, Christmas fruit cake...which reminds me.  If any of you get the dreaded fruit cake and you hate it (which I don't understand) please save it for us.  We not only eat it, we love it.  And it has a shelf life that beats Twinkies so even if I don't see you for a couple of years it will still be good.  We will take it. Thank you in advance.  We would be willing to pay a small storage fee.

Have any of you made spinach dip lately.  They don't sell chopped spinach anymore.  At least not in Port.  They do sell the frozen cubes.  But that spinach!!!!  It's like a cow chewed it, swallowed it and regurgitated it.  It has been mulched into microscopic pieces...no bigger bits to chew on. It actually goes through my fine sieve!  So disappointing.  And it gets everywhere. It gets in my raccoon wounds.  (shovel list)

Well I gotta bounce.  I need to prepare the brie to bake, chop prawns and scallops and bake the risen bread loaves (from frozen) in the oven.  And I have to figure out how long the turkey needs to cook for tomorrow.  I paid 23 dollars for a non deformed or missing parts smaller turkey.  It was in the grocery delivery order.  That sucker is seven kilos.  Seven!!!  Fifteen and a half pounds.  Not sure if the three of us can handle that!!!  Between now and new years we will be eating all the different things you can make with a ton of turkey.  And I don't eat meat.  So that is almost eight pounds of turkey between the two of them.   hahaha!!!!!

Have a wonderful Xmas out there!!!  I will be thinking of you all.  TFL & TTYLG

RAMBLE TAMBLE

 Here is a little piece from an essay I am reading by someone that has schizoid effectiveness disorder.  For those that don't know what that is, it's a more extreme autistic reaction to things plus a few other symptoms not suffered by autistic people. This article I chose to read because Monte has this diagnosis as well as autism.  This particular bit I have copied because even though I do not have sed this writing completely resonated with me.  And it was so well written.  Here goes

 Cooking Grounds Me Like Nothing Else

When an episode strikes, thinking doesn’t help. Breathing exercises don’t help. Even talking doesn’t always help.

But cooking does. Because it forces my body into a rhythm my head can follow. The sound of the knife on the board. The weight of the dutch oven. The smell of onions hitting hot oil. The heat from the stove. The way ingredients respond exactly the same way every time.

Cooking never judges me. Instead, it gives me something stable, repeatable, and predictable to hold on to.

It pulls me out of thought and back into action. It reminds me I can create order in one small corner of my day, even when everything inside feels unraveled.

Cooking is where my mind quietens enough to let me continue living

If the printing doesn't show up just run your cursor over it and it will.  Same with quotes I put down below.

I love to cook.  It does for me what crafts, music, painting, anything you love does for you.  Unfortunately I am truly having to adapt to my back pain fixes.  Either I will have to try pain killers (shovel list), just use my kitchen chair more or give up cooking...(SHOVEL LIST. not an option).  I avoid bending over for as long as possible and recognize what is my enemy. lol. 

Number one is the dishwasher.  Even leaning my elbow on the counter and using my other arm to load or unload isn't really working anymore.  Thank the heaven's above the minute I sit down the pain stops and after a few minutes I can get up and go again.

Tomorrow is laundry day.  I don't have a ton.  It's been weeks since I did the last batch. But I basically wear the same outfit for a week.  Not the undies but everything else.  You don't amass a ton of laundry that way.  And remember according to my last post my laundry has basically been cut in half.  hahahaha!!!!  Just kidding.

Well I have managed to deck out my front room with 22 battery operated candles....making up for not having a tree, even a tiny one, for the first time in my entire life.  I don't enjoy the process anymore.  I have become waaaay to fussy about balance and symmetry.  If there is even the slightest tiny hole with no lights I get obsessed as I rock in my chair and stare at it.  Then I get up and move lights around til I am satisfied.....for five minutes.  I am like my old gramma Graham.  She always had a wood stove for everything.  And she was famous for stoking the fire til it went out.  So funny.  So I decided to not stress myself out this year with a balanced tree.  My Libra nature oozing out. 

One pro fix back move I have made is to spend 120 bucks (eeeek! shovel list) on a full size seat and back chair cushion that both vibrates and heats.  I got it yesterday and I am not overly sure that it made any difference to my back per se, but it absolutely lulled me into a dazed stupor.  A dazed stupor is lovely but I am already addicted to that flipping chair, now I will be welded to it.  We shall see.  I have offered Ange to come up and use it too for her poor back.  Maybe if the two of us use it I won't feel so guilty.  that was a very big whack of money to spend on myself...especially when our whole family isn't giving gifts this year.  Giving gifts is absolutely the most important reason for xmas...at least to me.  I LOVE giving gifts. I'm missing it.

Thats it folks.  I am sitting in my bed whilst I type this but I hear my chair calling out there!!  Gotta bounce!  TFL &TTYG. I have added a g.  I always say later gator.  so now there is a g for gator!

'Children make your life important' Erma Bombeck 

 

COMPANY AND PASTA MIX!!!!

 Stan and Antonia and their poodle doodle of some sort were here for one night.  I decided to make pasta for dinner.  She loves pasta passionately but Stan doesn't really eat it.  It sure wasn't on our roster growing up.  Dad liked potatoes so no rice or pasta.  And Stan definitely prefers that.

But Antonia loves pasta and they don't eat it very often.  I decided to make two pastas.  One was my old tried and true meat forward spaghetti sauce and spaghettini.  The other was a brand new aha! type recipe.  You make a layer of cherry tomatoes in 9x13 size casserole dish and you nestle two Boursin cheeses in it.  Then you bake it til the cherry tomatoes start to burst.

Well the spaghetti was delicious.  The other not so much.  I mixed it with rigatoni pasta like the recipe said and boy was that the wrong pasta.  It overwhelmed the delicate sauce.  Ange and I didn't care for the taste either.  Stan and Antonia didn't eat much of it but went back for seconds of the spaghetti.  But Monte freaking loved the rigs.  Loved them.  Thank goodness cuz there were tons leftover and almost no spaghetti!

The pharmacist visit was way better than I ever expected.  Ever!!!! They immediately made an account for me and took all my meds info and connected me to Avi tele doctors.  And then made me an appointment for a phone consult the next morning at nine with a dr.  He phoned right on time asked a couple of questions and sent a three month (there max) to the new pharmacy and ended the phone call with 'talk to you in three months!'  I walked out of there on air!!! I am so happy and relieved.  No more panicking near the end of my prescription deliveries.  That pharmacy is in the same building as Monte's office so he will just bring them home to me when they are ready.  win win

Now I am going to clean my house.  I was up at 5:30 this morning so I very quietly cleaned the kitchen.  Now it's dining room and guest room.

That was yesterday.  Now it is the next morning.  I was awake all night out in my chair watching Blue Heelers on Acorn tv....best streaming station ever.  I was also making lists and decisions about xmas.  It is going to be a turkey dinner after all.  Easier than a bunch of finger foods and appies.  Also xmas eve is so important to our family.  So we are all contributing to that.  Even though it's just the three of us I think it is pretty important to keep the traditions going. 

 So Monte rolled home at six this morning with my fave breakfast from McD's...a McGriddle and orange cranberry muffin...still warm.  I am off low carb right at the moment thank goodness!!!  I am sitting up in my bed, chowing down on awesome food, blogging and watching Australian TV.  I am a happy old fat broad I must say.

I am thinking about starting a secret blog.  It will have all the Deep Dirty Deets in my life.  There will be a select discreet list of people who would have access to it.  Nothing would be held back and it would be right down and dirty and gossipy.  I predict there will battles to get on THE LIST.  And you can rightly presume that if you are NOT on the list, dirty details about you will be revealed.   hahahaha....just kidding!!!  I love you all!!!  TFL & TTYL

THE UPSIDE OF GETTING OLD AND WEARING DEPENDS:

It cuts my laundry in half.  think about the significance of that.

It gives you an excuse to stop wearing tights or tight trousers...comfy and baggy it is!

No worries doing things like jury duty, tourist submarine tours or buried somewhere near the bottom of massive stadium seating.

THE DOWNSIDE OF GETTING OLD AND WEARING DEPENDS:

When you are a guest in someone's house, where do you dispose of the used one to freshen up with a new one.  They are very bulky and fill a bathroom garbage can to an embarrassing level.

Wearing bulky disposable underpants compared to cute little lacy numbers forces you to face the fact that senior life has now landed on you permanently.

And when you choose to take a break and not wear one you can forget  you aren't wearing one.  I think you can understand the downside of that.

My advice is to get jiggy with it quickly and cope the best you can with a positive mind and a sense of humour.  Anything else will be destroying.  

TERROR IN THE NIGHT

 Okay maybe I am using a touch of hyperbole in my title but I was actually scared in the night.  What woke me around three am was a tremendous loooooong crash of extremely loud thunder.  And it was weird thunder.  It sound like it was rolling in a barrel and it was heavy...it actually shook my chair.

  Soon after I could see forked lightening out the window and more weird thunder.  And even more scary than that was the wind.  Only once years ago in Kamloops, literally fifty two years ago, I was in a worse wind storm than last night's.

  The wind last night was so strong and gusty and blew things around on my deck, heavy things.  Every single strangely last clinging leaf on a tree was blown to smithereens.  So were blow up Santas.  (shovel list...I dislike blow up decorations, during the day when they are flaccid they look like deflated used condoms...not nice) sorry

We had a fantastic fun weekend.  The kids arrived late.  I guess they were stuck behind big trucks and it was that foggy they had to go super slow.  But arrive they did!  We visited and caught up for a while then we all hit the hay.  They had worked all day before coming so they were pretty tired.

As it was raining out we just stayed home and talked, pianoed, watched something on tv, played with Leeloo, got dressed and ready to go to the tap house for dinner etc...  It was so awesome and relaxing.

The Tap House was so much fun.  We really had a fantastic time! How often do you get to eat in a real true blue train station converted but completely kept to the original look.  I know!  The Spaghetti House downtown Vancouver is sort of like it.  But this one was smaller and more authentic because it IS a once upon a time train station.

But...I wasn't impressed with the food.  I didn't even eat mine.  But I will say the raw oyster presentation was amazingly delicious.  I should have just ordered three of those (18 oysters) and I would have been a lot happier.  Plus the service was bad enough to reduce our tip to 15%.  But they are only two and a half months old so we shall give them a chance.  Plus everyone else loved their food.

The funniest thing though was Monte.  Being autistic he gets very involved and sometimes offended by the oddest things...things that the rest of us either miss or just don't give a rat's ass about.. That night it was the fusion food on the menu.  He thinks that fusion food is completely disrespectful to the origins of the food.  And he would not eat any of it.  He didn't order one thing except a san peligrino.  And we got a lengthy interesting lecture on why he felt that way.  Life with an above my pay grade intelligence human can be very illuminating and interesting.

The kids left around three for home on Sunday.  The house was pretty empty.  So I just took a little time to sit and reflect on the visit until I didn't feel so lonely.  I will see them again the first week in January or there about.  I am making an appointment at my old hair salon in North Van to get a proper spiral perm.  Spiral perm curls just last waaaay longer than the regular curls done by regular people.  I need a Viet Namese hair dresser.  And the salon I always went to are predominately VN.  And it has to be early January.

And this is why.  I am going to Mexico with Kathy and some teacher friends, or retired teacher friends during spring break.  I have gone with them before to Mexico not long after Bill died.  I think I mentioned this before here...I was reluctant at first.  It isn't really fun being the only fat broad in a group of skinny good looking folks...at a beach no less.

  It shouldn't matter.  I am pretty sure these people don't give two hoots about what I look like, and I shouldn't either, but being honest here I DO give two hoots.  No matter how little I eat, how many carbs I avoid I just lose so little weight.  Mind you after what I have deep dived in to google about the latest discoveries about type 2 diabetes it is kind of predictable.

  I was skinny and careful about carbs to stay that way and had been since I was 24.  I was about 120 pounds.  Then type 2 inexplicably hit when I was around 40.  And the weight just came on no matter what I ate.  I don't like not being in  control of that.  (shovel list). You would think by 73 yrs old it just wouldn't matter anymore.  The attitude I can control, and shall work on doing better at that part.

Anyway it's a lot easier for me to have properly permed hair...especially in a hot humid climate.  But not too close to the date of the appointment.  People who don't perm their hair or don't live with someone who does, may not be aware of how badly you stink (sorry mom, stink is the only word that suits here) when your hair is newly permed.  It is awful.  

Well enough for today.  I am off to the pharmacist now to change to a new pharmacy and ask for advice about pain medicine.  Ever since I wrecked half my kidney function with ibuprofen I am leery to take any at all.  My lower back and tailbone has made it impossible to get things done in a timely fashion and my sister gave me some amazing advice that changed my whole stance on pain meds.  Her arthritis doctor told her to keep moving...no matter what.  And if the pain keeps you from it like mine is within five minutes of moving around...take pain meds and keep going.  She also is the one who suggested I speak to a pharmacist about that cuz there ain't no way I can see a doctor here in this ol' town.

Thats it folks.  Gotta bounce.  TFL & TTYL

'In two decades I have lost 789 pounds, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.'  Erma Bombeck

CLEAN HOUSE AND PEA SOUP

 My house is clean as a whistle and I made a massive pot of split pea sludge.  That ham had a very big bone in it and I had a 900 gram bag of split peas.  Inevitably there was going to be pea soup.

  And thank goodness my low carbing means I can't eat it.  No amount of fibre can yank down the carb count in that soup.  And the thank goodness is because that was the smokiest ham I have ever bought and I despise the taste of smoke.

I didn't hate it up until Monte and April were 6&8 years old.  We went to Maui for a holiday and Spod, being a spam freak, bought a can of smoked spam.  Sounded good, looked good, smelt okay but the taste?  Hokey Dinah...I almost can't eat even bacon now.  Anything smoked turns my stomach.  And this pea soup might as well have had a smoke gun on it for the last six hours.

The housecleaner was here on Wed. so the house is pretty clean.  I spent most the day today working on my bedroom.  You wouldn't know it to look at it.  I just don't have anywhere to put anything.  I really don't.  Back in the nether days we didn't have a ton of everything. Now we load up on quadruples of whatever we own.  I say it's buying choices.  I don't want one pair of brown shoes and boots for winter and one pair of white shoes for summer. I want ten pairs.  Choices.  

In grade 8 when we first moved to Vancouver from lowly Smithers, I had one wool pinkish skirt and one blouse.  For the whole school year!  I wore the same outfit for a whole year.  I am happy to say I didn't care one bit.  Can you imagine a 13-14 year old kid of today handling that?  Not on your life.  And now when I look at my room I yearn for those days again!!!! Much simpler times!

But I digress, as usual.  Company is a'comin'!  Myles and April are arriving around ten tonite.  They can only stay til Sunday.  But we will have all day tomorrow to visit and play the piano and have fun!  I am going to teach April my version of Hallelujah.  She is very capable of learning the original but she says she prefers my rendition.  It's waaaaay simpler.  I mostly play by ear...always have. 

We were trying to decide where to go for dinner tomorrow night.  She mentioned the Station Tap House.  I had never heard of it!  I didn't think it was possible that there was a restaurant in town I had never heard of.  And they both like beer so as soon as I hung up the phone I googled it.  And it's just down the street from us!  DOH!!!!  The menu is awesome, small but refined.  And all the beer is from around here.  We have amazing distilleries and beer maker places.  I forget what those are called.  Breweries!!!  Thats it.  Award winning ones.  So we shall go there and I am going to eat carbs!!!  Then when we get home we may watch a movie or something.  I am so excited.  

And next week end my brother and Antonia are coming for one nite!  Two visits in a row from people!!  We never get people.  I am not sure I remember how to have people.  hahaha!!!!!

Okay enough rambling.  I shall report on our weekend on Monday!  Have a great weekend and TFL & TTYL

'If I had my life to live over, I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.'  Erma Bombeck.   this woman is my hero

WARNING: A FOODIE EXPERIMENT POST

 Now and then I like to talk about the food I am trying or going to try.  The reason for this one is I am experimenting with low carb but delicious meals....a complete meal.  Not easy!!!  You would maybe think we diabetics can just chow down on vegetables and meat.  How exciting does that sound?  So now and then when I have a brilliant idea...even if it turns out to be a junker in the end I will be posting about it.

I decided to buy a massive heavy giant bone in ham.  After the initial dinner I cut the meat off and then make pea soup with that bone.  I will still maybe make pea soup for Monte and Ange.  I won't be eating it.  Too many carbs.  But I can snack on the leftover meat.

I looked up keto glazes and lo and behold I have all that I need according to the recipes I found.  Every one of them was the same.  Low carb brown sugar, dijaun mustard, vinegar.  Thats the base.  Add spices and what you like.  You boil it and in pictures it thickens.  We'll see.

Fifteen minutes a pound for the ham.  My ham is about eight pounds so two hours.  There will be yummy pan juices...especially with the glaze mixing in with the meat juices.  So...how to utilize that....

Well I happen to have two, not one but two purple cabbages.  I have got to that stage of life where I forget tiny details like I bought a cabbage already.  And they I bought purple ones because they are only four bucks to green cabbage's eight!  Ridiculous.  And don't forget, as I have mentioned before, cabbage is PIG FOOD.  That is what we fed our pigs when we were kids!  We rarely ate it ourselves.  Now it has become an elite expensive side dish.  And I know why. 

I totally blame it on the popularity of pulled pork.  Pulled pork, which I hate, has caused two sad things.  Firstly pork shoulder.  Pork shoulder roasts or steaks were welfare people's go to meat.  I was on welfare for years once upon a time and we ate a lot of it with shake and bake.  Then along came pulled pork and shoulder, or butt as it is also called for some unknown reason, was the only choice of pork that works.  And you guessed it...because that cheap ass cut of pork gained a desirable identity....stores put the prices up.  Way up...for junk meat.  (shovel list). And what mandatorily goes with pulled pork?  Why that would be coleslaw.  All of a sudden pig food also gained an identity.  And...up goes the price of cabbage..the lowest of low vegetable.  Enough said!

But cabbage's one redeeming factor other than it is delicious, it is low carb.  So due to two taking space in my fridge (actually the top of my outdoor freezer, it's cold enough now) and us all trying to low carb to some level or another it will be cabbage with the ham.

I am going to cut them in half and roast them in another pan at the same time as the ham.  But when the ham is finished I will remove it to a cutting board, ready for my kitchen chainsaw, and I shall transfer the cabbage wedges to the drippings pan, use a little glaze on the cabbage and finish roasting it.

And...this is the exciting  part.  I am going to make us each keto mug cheese muffins.  I might not use mugs and make a triple recipe and make them in the oven in my silicone muffin pan.  Haven't decided yet.

So sliced ham with glaze, roasted pan juices cabbage and cheesy keto muffins.    They only have 3 carbs per muffin.  Cabbage has five carbs per cup of cabbage and ham has zero.

My hopes are high.  But recently I saw continuous comments and pics for 'chaffles' on low carb sites.  Cheese waffles that use almond flour, cheese and eggs.  One day I made them and hated them.  I really don't like almond flour so I am not holding out too much hope about the muffins.  We'll see.

Anyway I am going to take pics as I go and I shall try to attach them to this post in a sensible order.  But it IS blogspot.  No control.

Speaking of control that is what prompted me to once a week try to come up with low carb ideas.  So instead of sitting here moaning about it and scrambling around in my brain for a medium carb eating plan, I am going to actively make up a proper low carb dinner once a week that generates left overs!

So as usual I almost forgot to take pics.  I get so involved in the process I forget that part.  But I got a couple so here goes.  I will attribute a number between 1 and 10 on each of the four things involved with this dinner under the picture.  By the way...the glaze worked beautifully and it didn't spike our blood sugar.  TFL & TTYL

AS USUAL ALL OUT OF ORDER.  THIS GROSS MESS IS THE PIG FOOD...PURPLE CABBAGE.  IT WAS AWFUL.  0 OUT OF TEN.  IT WAS LIKE SHOE LEATHER AND WE WOULD NEED MUCH NEWER SHARPER FALSE TEETH TO EAT IT.  BAD!!!

THE GLAZED HAM.  I WOULD GIVE THIS ONE 8.  FOR MY TASTE IT WAS WAAAAY TOO SMOKED.  THE SMELL PERMEATED THE HOUSE TO THE POINT THAT BY TWO IN THE MORNING I HAD TO TAKE AN INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH GRAVOL....IT SUPER MADE ME SICK.

THESE WERE SUCCESSFUL.  I MYSELF WOULD GIVE THEM A 6.  ANGE LOVED THEM, SHE EVEN WANTS THE RECIPE.  I FOUND THEM TO GRAINY OR SOMETHING.

IGNORE..STUPID BLOGSPOT

THE GLAZE IS THE ONLY ONE THAT GOT A TEN.  IT WAS DELICIOUS AND THICK AND GOOEY.

THE FINAL BEAST.  ALL GLAZED AND ROASTED.  IF YOU LOOK CAREFULLY YOU CAN SEE WHERE I SNUCK A TASTE.  THAT WAS WHEN I REMEMBERED TO TAKE PICS!!!