RAMBLE TAMBLE

 Here is a little piece from an essay I am reading by someone that has schizoid effectiveness disorder.  For those that don't know what that is, it's a more extreme autistic reaction to things plus a few other symptoms not suffered by autistic people. This article I chose to read because Monte has this diagnosis as well as autism.  This particular bit I have copied because even though I do not have sed this writing completely resonated with me.  And it was so well written.  Here goes

 Cooking Grounds Me Like Nothing Else

When an episode strikes, thinking doesn’t help. Breathing exercises don’t help. Even talking doesn’t always help.

But cooking does. Because it forces my body into a rhythm my head can follow. The sound of the knife on the board. The weight of the dutch oven. The smell of onions hitting hot oil. The heat from the stove. The way ingredients respond exactly the same way every time.

Cooking never judges me. Instead, it gives me something stable, repeatable, and predictable to hold on to.

It pulls me out of thought and back into action. It reminds me I can create order in one small corner of my day, even when everything inside feels unraveled.

Cooking is where my mind quietens enough to let me continue living

If the printing doesn't show up just run your cursor over it and it will.  Same with quotes I put down below.

I love to cook.  It does for me what crafts, music, painting, anything you love does for you.  Unfortunately I am truly having to adapt to my back pain fixes.  Either I will have to try pain killers (shovel list), just use my kitchen chair more or give up cooking...(SHOVEL LIST. not an option).  I avoid bending over for as long as possible and recognize what is my enemy. lol. 

Number one is the dishwasher.  Even leaning my elbow on the counter and using my other arm to load or unload isn't really working anymore.  Thank the heaven's above the minute I sit down the pain stops and after a few minutes I can get up and go again.

Tomorrow is laundry day.  I don't have a ton.  It's been weeks since I did the last batch. But I basically wear the same outfit for a week.  Not the undies but everything else.  You don't amass a ton of laundry that way.  And remember according to my last post my laundry has basically been cut in half.  hahahaha!!!!  Just kidding.

Well I have managed to deck out my front room with 22 battery operated candles....making up for not having a tree, even a tiny one, for the first time in my entire life.  I don't enjoy the process anymore.  I have become waaaay to fussy about balance and symmetry.  If there is even the slightest tiny hole with no lights I get obsessed as I rock in my chair and stare at it.  Then I get up and move lights around til I am satisfied.....for five minutes.  I am like my old gramma Graham.  She always had a wood stove for everything.  And she was famous for stoking the fire til it went out.  So funny.  So I decided to not stress myself out this year with a balanced tree.  My Libra nature oozing out. 

One pro fix back move I have made is to spend 120 bucks (eeeek! shovel list) on a full size seat and back chair cushion that both vibrates and heats.  I got it yesterday and I am not overly sure that it made any difference to my back per se, but it absolutely lulled me into a dazed stupor.  A dazed stupor is lovely but I am already addicted to that flipping chair, now I will be welded to it.  We shall see.  I have offered Ange to come up and use it too for her poor back.  Maybe if the two of us use it I won't feel so guilty.  that was a very big whack of money to spend on myself...especially when our whole family isn't giving gifts this year.  Giving gifts is absolutely the most important reason for xmas...at least to me.  I LOVE giving gifts. I'm missing it.

Thats it folks.  I am sitting in my bed whilst I type this but I hear my chair calling out there!!  Gotta bounce!  TFL &TTYG. I have added a g.  I always say later gator.  so now there is a g for gator!

'Children make your life important' Erma Bombeck