I sometimes wish I was a lesbian. Really. My youngest daughter had a bit of a painful moment with her live in boyfriend this weekend. And as she was verbally working it through with me, she made the comment that she would really prefer to be living with a girl than boy. I get it, totally.
At the risk of sounding like I am taking a giant step backwards in time here, I feel that there are some fundamental differences between the sexes that no amount of equalization will alter. I will give some examples:
Sensitivity: I almost feel like I don't have to explain this one. A few years ago we were going out for the evening. It required dressing up to some extent. I bought a dress and all the trappings, got all dressed up, extra did my hair, put on make up AND jewelry and made my entrance down our elegant, showcasing stairs. Bill watched me descend, and, ......said nothing. So I asked him, "how do I look?" He looked me up and down, I twirled, feeling pretty, and he responded "You look matronly." WHAT?? Now, even if that were true there is no way in hell would my bestest girlfriend in the world say that one out loud! Men are just not capable of recognizing that "line" of personal comments that one should never ever step over. That incident happened years ago and I have never forgotten.
General House Labour: There is no doubt in my mind that if I had been married to a woman for the last forty years, my total hours I have spent housecleaning and cooking in my whole life would be cut down so significantly it is depressing. Not only does the labour fall on the woman (with notable exceptions, my best friend and my sister are each married to one of those esceptions= go figure) but the judgement from others when they see your house or dine on a meal cooked by you. So, it is a double whammy. If I had a wife, she would share the work and the criticism!
BATHROOM: Okay, this one is a no brainer. For those of you out there that don't live in a predominantly male household, let me explain something, and if you are the faint of heart type, skip this paragraph. MEN CAN'T AIM. So, you end up with pee buildup all around the base of the toilet. MEN POOP STRAIGHT UP. How is that even possible? Some of the messes at the toilet I can't even figure out. Men never throw out empty shampoo bottles. Men shave and leave whiskers in the sink. I could go on and on, but I won't. Not one of those aforementioned things would happen If I had married a woman.
So all in all, I get my daughter's point. Unfortunately, though, I am not a lesbian. So the writing is on the wall. I will spend the rest of my married life cooking, cleaning, hating my bathroom and dodging hurtful comments. Good thing I love him!!
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