DINNER FAIL

 Well dinner tonite was a giant fail.  It cost a lot and it was a ton of pick ass work.  I am not happy.

In the night I was awake and got thinking about making spaghetti but using ground sausage instead of ground beef.  Well, like thoughts in the night are want to do they grew into what ended up being a monster, a big fat miserable fail monster.

Now in my defence, I have never used ground sausage, or spiced ground pork.  I have a lot of tail end veggies in the fridge so I can add those.  Shredded carrots, shredded cabbage, celery, mushrooms, onion, half rotten giant tomatoes (lots left of them after you cut the mouldy parts out).  And brilliant idea of all ideas, apples.  Some of that I did have to buy.

So I fired up my lappy and made a delivery list on my Walmart site.  I decided seven apples would probably do it.  I added a container of cherry tomatoes for good measure. Plus why not try out a can or two of diced and spiced tomato for a change. Chose a nine o'clock  am delivery.  Gave me time to get all those things ready and possibly in the crock pot.

So the groceries arrived right on time.  I gathered all my fridge stuff and organized the grocery stuff.  I chopped, and whizzed in my chopper, and peeled and diced, opened cans, halved the mushrooms...got all that started.  Popped two pounds of ground spiced pork into a frying pan to get browned before adding to the veg.  I got all that prepped, cooking and first seasoning on the go....in a big pot on the stove...way too much for the crock pot.  Now it was time to get the apples ready.  Seven of them.  Cosmic crisps.

I have one of those segment making corer thingies.  So the first thing I did was core and segment seven apples.  Next I cut each segment into three chunks and threw them into the now simmering pot.  I added the final seasonings, brown sugar, bovril, fresh chopped basil and balsamic vinegar.  Precook test taste was really good.  

So the obligatory hours later it was dinner time.  I heated up the konjak noodles (shitty but almost zero carbs) and we dished up.  It was awful.  The spaghetti sauce was not too bad but the apples just ruined it.  They were simply lumps of tasteless mush and skin.  No flavour left in them at all.  And not only that it made the sauce watery.  Dammit!!!!

There was only one thing I could do.  Get the apple out of the spaghetti and tossed in the garbage and cook the sauce down some.  

Math time.  Seven apples cut into eight wedges, each wedge cut into three.  Seven times eight time three...that is a freaking 168 pieces of apple in a six quart casserole dish.  I got one of those squeezy things, tongs, and picked every damned one of those loser apple pieces out.  Every single one.  Now I decide..do I keep the sauce and freeze it or just toss it now instead of later. 

This was a good reminder to not dream up ideas in the middle of the night.  Several years ago I had to stop myself from watching info commercials at two in the am.  I bought five hundred bucks worth of invection elements.  Never opened the boxes and ended up giving them to someone that could actually use them.  That part felt good.  The five hundred buck loss not so much.

A quick note about Monte.  Life with him can be a rollercoaster but I gotta say..he is amazing right now.  Of course he still has his autistic quirks but he is calm and funny and busy.  He seems to be back visiting his friends and soon he will be able to get out hiking with Floppy again.  He is the most interesting person.  Right now he is reading The Art of War to me and it sparks some interesting convos.

That is it for today.  It isn't even three am yet.  I gotta stop waking up in the night.  By three pm I am wiped out.  It's taco Tuesday today.  I must not be sleepy beyond control in the afternoon, got dinner to make!!!  TFL and TTYL

AFTER PICKING OUT ALL THAT APPLE AND PUTTING THE WHOLE THING OUTSIDE (IT WOULDN'T FIT IN THE FRIDGE) I WAS HUNGRY.  THIS IS MY ACTUAL SUPPER I ATE

DEAPPLED SPAGHETTI SAUCE

168 PIECES OF APPLE

THRIFT STORE ANGST

 I have issues with thrift stores.  In Kamloops my mom was being moved from a nice little apartment in a senior establishment to another one...a more appointed, less self sufficient apartment.  As such my two siblings and myself and Spod cleared out her place, made a few boxes to go to her next place and lots of boxes to go to a thrift store.  All of the stuff we didn't trash was deemed good stuff.  And there it was. 

 I didn't realize that thrift stores are NOT grateful to get stuff.  I didn't realize that thrift stores mistakenly dubbed our stuff as 'garage sale rejects'.  Now let me make it clear I am not talking about the diabetes people.  They are awesome.  Not only do they pick up the stuff, but they take everything.

We took that stuff to at least two very unwelcoming thrift places and were rejected right out of them.  We then drove straight to the dump and threw it all out along with what we had deemed trash when we cleared her place out.

  I did keep a box of dead Bob's stuff for his kids.  He did a lot of writing and drawing and letter writing.  I kept very personal things like his wallet and pictures.  I let his kids, who lived in the states and the Kooteneys, know I had a box of his stuff.  I never heard from them so Monte, Spod and I took it up a logging road here and burnt it all.

We live in what is basically a very poor town.  Work is hard to find.  There are an extraordinary amount of fellow citizens on disability.  As such we have a number of thrift stores...the usual...Sally Ann, Hospital thrift, Bread of Life etc...  Thank goodness we don't have a very overpriced  Value Village.

Anyway, in Ange's and my endeavour to purge this house, we made ten boxes of food.  Good stuff.  Canned soups, cereals, pastas, giant tin of ground coffee, a massive jar of mayonnaise, cake mixes, bisquick, etc...all date checked.  Monte hauled it all out to the van and off he went.  I must admit I didn't have the best feelings as he disappeared down the street.  

About fifteen min. later he phones me.  They won't take it unless we double check the expiry dates.  It is done he says.  Well they wanted it done again.

Now I don't like to think this but here is a giant young man, torn raggedy sweater, many chains around his neck, knife hanging off his belt and a fedora type black hat on his head who just maybe didn't present your average household donator.. Very cute for a musician, scary for fat old Sally Ann worker.  According to Monte she was very rude and unfriendly.  "Get out of there!" I immediately said.

So the next day Monte made the executive decision to try the Bread of Life.  They aren't actually a formal thrift store.  They are more of a food bank, feed the real down and outers, type of place.  They welcomed him with open arms and smiles and joy.  He told them that they had all been double checked for dates and he was believed.  What a difference!  That is the place we shall be dealing with from now on!!

We had an earthquake!!!  I was hiding out in my bedroom while the housekeeper polished up my house.  I heard a rattling, turned off my tv and sure enough, my blinds were rattling.  Then stopped.  I bet that was an earthquake I said to myself.

Two minutes later my phone rings and it was April.  It was so bad there that she had to catch a little dog going nuts and go stand in the outside door doorway.  A few minutes later Aryn called.  She and Bradley were under the kitchen table.  Holy Cow!!!!!  I think their third floor cement place would be okay, but April's?  Not so much.  That decrepit old piece of crap is either going to fall apart from something or burn to the ground.  April was worried the roof would cave in.  Anyway it was exciting!

Well today's task is to fill two giant garbage bags of stuff for the diabetes truck to pick up.  My bag is going to be full of shoes and closet clothes.  I am going to make room in my roomy but stuffed closet.  All my ugly sweaters, long sleeved stuff, goofy idea outfits I have never, and never will wear,  fancy clothes that I will never get to ever wear again...no cruising in my future, shirts with rude sayings that offend me now that I am out of my ribald years and entered my respectable old age years.  Sad but true.

I made my very 'last in my life' shirt purchases last week. Theyarrived yesterday.  I shall get old and die before they are worn out.  I have worn all my current shirts since our house burnt down in March 2003.  That is 22 years.  If I live another 22 years I would be 95.  No thank you. Being a Queenager is tough enough.  I wouldn't mind 82 but 95 is pushing it.  Getting old is too slow and painful.  But worst of all is you have to constantly ask for help and be a burden on people.  Oh I know there are those few old people out there that are like the freaking energizer bunny, but most of us are NOT that!!!  By 82 I will be ready to surrender and go bug Bill out there somewhere.

Jeez!!!  How did we get from thrift stores to dying?  This sort of thing kind of happens when you get older and that rainbow bridge isn't a distant thought anymore.  Hahaha!!!!!

Thats it for today.  I hope you are all happy out there.  You sure do me a lot of good!  I thank you for letting me use you all as a cathartic dumping ground!  I love you all and come visit me anytime at all.  TFL and TTYL  

THROWBACK POST DEC. 30 2010 (ONE TIME ONLY)

Oh Lord, Give Me StrengthWe have dogs. A big one and a little one. I am not a dog person but even I know that you don't feed dogs people food. All sorts of awful things happen when you feed them people food. They get sick. They get runny diarrhoea. They become fixated on food and lose their desire to be normal dogs. They die. All sorts of awful things can happen.

This knowledge makes no difference whatsoever to Bill. For years and years, through several dogs, Bill has been told, nagged, yelled at, lectured and beseeched to not feed the dogs people food. But in spite of obvious consequences, he seems to be totally unable to exercise self-discipline and refrain from tossing inappropriate tidbits to them. On one famous (in the immediate family anyway) occasion a few years ago, he fed one of our dogs twelve chocolate cupcakes. When I found out, fairly soon after the feast, I tied the dog up on our deck as per the normal routine and with payback purpose in mind, I moved a lot of lumber, tools and bricks in to the same corner as the dog. By the time that poor dog was through, there wasn't much of the building supplies that wasn't coated in a fine layer of excrement. And, because of what was under the deck, it couldn't be simply hosed off. Bill had to carry every piece down to the back and hose it off there. And our poor dog recently died from kidney failure. Think there is a connection? Now, no matter what Bill has done or not done, any episode of poo in our house is his responsibility. He has to clean messes up off the floor, he has to pick up poo outside, he has to clean our little hairy dog if poo sticks to her.

Yesterday morning both dogs were put out to do their morning ablutions. Molly, the little hairy one, stayed out way way longer than her normal routine. Finally I called her in. As she came up the sidewalk she would stop every few steps, hunch up then drag her butt a ways on the ground. She would then walk a few more steps, stop, hunch up and drag her butt. She finally arrived at the door and upon inspection there was the evidence that she had been eating something she shouldn't have. Nicely glued all over her ass was....well....you can guess. I hollered for Bill. Bill didn't come. So I scooped her up and holding her at arms length I went in search of him. I found him in the bathroom, stark nekkid and about to get into the shower. I simply handed the dog over to a surprised Bill and exited the bathroom. No words were necessary. After a few minutes I heard Bill go into the kitchen and back into the bathroom. I was busy so I didn't pay much attention.

After some time I was kind of wondering what was happening in there, I opened the door and peeked in. No Bill. No Molly. What??? So I stepped into the bathroom, gingerly pulled the shower curtain aside a little and OH MY GOD!! There was Bill, facing the shower, holding Molly, ass side up under a pounding stream of hot water. He would swish her this way. Then he would swish her that way. Then he would kind of bounce her up and down. She looked positively terrified. I quickly left the bathroom, shaking my head.

I retreated to the kitchen and proceeded to do the dishes. After a few minutes i happened to glance down the hall just as the bathroom door opened and a very wet dog was fired out into the hallway, door shutting quickly behind her. For one stunned moment she just stood there blinking, Then suddenly she shook herself vigorously, hunched her back, then plopped her ass on the floor and started to drag her ass, again. Behind her was a little brown trail. I dashed over, scooped her up, flipped her upside down and, yes, there was the evidence. All the shower did was make it mushier and messier. Jeez!!! I also noticed that a lot of hair had been hacked off her back end. I grabbed her towel and wrapped her up and went back into the bathroom. And, yes, sitting right there on the counter were my good kitchen scissors, the ones we use for opening food bags, cutting green onions, snipping beans etc... And they were covered. One more item for the dog bag.

After he was dressed, Bill took her to Doggie Sudz and had her washed. It would just be a whole lot easier for dog and all to not feed her people food.

 

SIX MONTHS!!!!

 I told April that I had finally managed to talk to a tele doctor.  And I got six months!!!  She responds by 'Yaaayyy!   Wait!!!  Six months of pills or six months to live!!??'  Hahahaha!!!!

My wonderful sister told me to try Tia again but this time ask for a specific doctor she had used, whom I shan't name publicly here, although I am very happy with him.

And it was successful!  All he did was read the list of pills out loud, I confirmed and he said okay I will give you three months with one refill!!!!  And before you could say 'Bob's your uncle (or in our case both dead and step father Bob)' the prescription was in my email inbox.  I couldn't quite believe it! Thank you Kathy!!!!!!

What I liked most was he didn't show any interest in anything going on physically with me.  No questions, no suggestions or worries, no prodding and getting nosey.  Absolutely my fave kind of doctor.  Don't talk about a single thing unless I bring it up first.  I have managed to self diagnose (without Dr. Google I might add) every single thing I have ever had.  I already know what is wrong with me, via usually talking with people, when I walk into the doctor's office.  So do not mess with me and whatever you do...do not touch me. 

That being said I have to say female inspections once a year were torturous dreaded occasions.  They were equal to a dental visit for horrificness.  When I was on the doctor's table I would think, 'God!!! I would rather be in a dentist's chair!"  But then when I was laid out, mouth wide open in a dental chair, I would think, "God!!!  I'd rather be laid out on a doctor's table!'  I still can't pick which is worse.  I get the shivers just thinking about it. 

 The best thing to happen to me was getting a giant partly cancerous tumour in my nethers and by the time they were through with me I wasn't a whole female anymore.  And that saved me a thousand worries ever since, not to mention no more inspections.  And I have very few real teeth left.  Just enough to anchor unfeeling fake ones in there. So the percentage of a chance for teeth problems is lessened dramatically.

Well today is slow roast a pork shoulder roast day.  I am going to invent a glaze.  I have an apple sugar free syrup (Torani).  I will have to use some brown sugar so it will crisp up and burn a little and I am going to add a wee tad of apple cider vinegar and maybe some spices.  If I remember I will take a pic.  I love inventing recipes, just simple stupid ones.  When I read recipes if they are two pages long I eliminate them immediately.

You know I was thinking about this blog.  I think you guys know more about me than I know about  myself.  I am very aware that I lack filters, at least filters in the right place.  If ever you think I am out of line or going too far please let me know.  I do not have a moderator to keep me reigned in.  I do worry sometimes if I have said it too bluntly or too much.  You would be amazed at what I don't write about!!!!  I think the main reason I was so excited about moving to an old folks home was the plethora of fodder for stories!!!  

Well I am beginning to ramble.  So I think I shall put a comma in here and take up the gauntlet in a couple days.  TTYL and TFL

Here is my chosen piece of advice from Erma Bombeck...my heroine.

'Seize the moment.  Remember all those women on the Titanic that waved the dessert cart away!'

PICTURES DO NOT LIE

AS USUAL THIS STUPID WEBSITE DOESN'T PUT THEM ON IN ORDER. THIS WAS ATTACH A WIENER ON A STRING BETWEEN YOUR LEGS AND SWING IT UP AND CATCH IT IN YOUR MOUTH.  NEITHER WERE SUCCESSFUL!

THERE WERE QUIET MOMENTS OF CONVERSATION

SOME OLDSTERS TAKING A VERY NECESSARY MOMENT OF REST

MUD THE FACE TIME

SELF EXPLANATORY...SOME OF THEM ENJOYED IT WAY TOO MUCH!!!

EVERY WOMEN'S GROUP HAS THAT ONE PERSON...VAMPY COW

A COUPLE OF THE GIRLS SET UP A FANTASTIC CAESAR TABLE

OF COURSE....DRUNK YOGA

D

THE FEARLESS YOGI

EVERYBODY TAKE A DRINK THEN DROP INTO DOWNWARD DOG

STREEETCH UP HIGH

WAITING THE MUD TIME OUT

THERE IS EVERYBODY

MORE VISITING MOMENTS  OH AND EATING AND EATING AND EATING

THE HUB



I APOLOGIZE FOR THE QUALITY OF THE PICS.  WHEN YOU ARE DRINKING, EATING, SCREAMING, LAUGHING, COLLAPSING...YOU DON'T GET THE BEST PICS!

 

OH MY LORD!!!!

 I don't need to exercise after all the laughing that was had this weekend!!!  My stomach hurts!!!  Honestly! put thirteen women aged early thirties to early seventies in one magnificent mansion and you get crazy!!!  Jeez we pinned all different shaped and coloured weenies on a hunk of a dude (like pin the tail on the donkey), we had a joke off, we had a swing a wiener on a string tied between our legs and try to catch it in our mouth, we played a very loud game with scratch and wins, we kareokied (can't spell it), danced, bellowed like an elephant, ate til we couldn't move and stuff I can't report.  Oh, lots of drinking!!!

  I remember not so long ago nobody took pics except me with my big old D90.  Now everybody had their phones out and took pictures galore.

 And the food was crazy good.  Curries, lox, charcuterie, hot chilli dip, and the most amazing delicious homemade lasagna!!!  And then there was home made sourdough, raison bread, roasted stuffed turkey and a myriad of h'or dorves (can't spell it).  And so much more I can't possibly remember it all.  Cakes cookies squares...you name it!

Kathy was sick and couldn't come.  I was so sad about that...and so was everyone else.  But...she sent my cooler I had to leave there at thanksgiving completely full to the top with absolutely delicious food. She sent her homemade beans and her curry soup...so amazing, and pickled beets plus a ton of other stuff.  Like who does that when they are sick???  My sister...that's who!!!

The trip home was a bit sad and a bit trepidatious. I have been NOT looking forward to Ange moving out in June. It will just be bleak here without her.  A lot of things would not be easy with her gone.  Actually not just easy but other things as well that due to other people in the house I don't talk about.  In other words I need help with stuff and due to being a hermit, she is the only person other than Monte I talk to now.  But it turns out to certain things in her life, she isn't moving out after all.  I am so relieved and happy!  That was a real necessary boost!  I really was dreading the day she would be gone.

We are going to continue to purge the house though, even if no moving is involved.  I just can't live in a house with this much stuff.  We are all diabetic, there is a type one, a type two and a pre=diabetic.  And I do not have people for dinner anymore so I can get rid of 90% of my kitchen stuff.  It takes up way way too much house space (and deck).  I am sorely tempted at this point to rent one of those massive dumpsters...have them put it in my back driveway and we can just toss stuff over the deck railing.  I have done this many a time when we were mortgage brokers and took loser's houses back and had to clean them out.  It's actually a lot of fun...even the kids had fun helping.  Actually I think I will price that out!  Wow!!  You just saw a good idea being born!

So today no pics.  I haven't got them ready yet.  So the next post will just be pics..in the next day or two.  I just didn't want to go longer without a post.

Have a great day and TFL and TTYL

  

LISTS LISTS LISTS

I would be unable to live without lists.  My dilemma though is paper versus computer versus phone.  Actually what it boils down to is which one can I read.  I can't read the phone list.  My eyes....and I can't read my paper one cuz my hand printing has become very erratic due to....eyes.  But that just leaves the computer and I can't pack it around with me everywhere. 

 I should go to the eye doctor (I would say opthablahblah but I can't spell it) but I am scared they will tell me I need needles in my eyes.  I have talked with more than one person with similar problems as mine and that is what those brave people do every month.  They prance confidently into the doc's office and throw themselves in a chair and say 'okay poke me right smack in my eye'.  No thanks.  Thus I practise at least once a week walking around with my eyes shut...practising being blind. . I am becoming very good at it.

Anyway back to the lists.  I have them all on my word processor.  I have a list for stuff I have to take to the upcoming retreat.  I have a shopping list for stuff getting delivered tomorrow so I can cook things.  I have a list for Costco shopping on our way out to Chilliwack...destination of said retreat.  I have a list of clothes and stuff to pack.  I have a list of activities I have to do before I leave...housekeeper is coming on Friday.  It is endless. I even made a list of the dates starting Monday to the day I leave on the Thursday and what I have to do each day.

I am taking the van.  The only thing about that is I skipped getting a BCAA membership due to having road assist on Smudge.  So that leaves me with a problem if shit happens, and trust me it will, when I have the van.  Maybe I will get hold of BCAA and reinstall my membership.  I didn't think about the van when I made that stupid decision.  

Normally I would be taking the car over to the mainland.  But there are three of us going and we each are loaded with food and booze.  And Smudge is stupid.  She is so small in every way.  There is no way three of us will fit in her and all the coolers and acoutrablahbah (can't spell it) that is going as well.  So van it is.

I am trying to decide if I should buy some booze and mix and drink this weekend.  I could.  I generally am not a drinker but I feel this is a drinking crowd.  I don't mind the liquor or the buzz etc... but I can't watch other people start getting stupid and slurring their words etc...I find it upsetting and brings back memories I would rather not remember.  I tend to retreat..quite the opposite of the particular retreat I am attending. 

 I am not talking about my family memories. I grew up in a cult where there is no drinking at all.  No I am talking about some Indigenous that were not allowed alcohol on their reserve until 1957 when that barbaric controlling law was knocked down.  But up until then all their drinking had to be done in town.  And when I saw these lovely people weaving down the street behaving erratically, it scared hell out of me.  It's left a lasting fear of people who change when they drink.  But I know when I join in, if I don't get pukey, it isn't so traumatizing.  Jeez!  What a baby!

Anywhooo a busy week coming up.  I haven't completely finished my room yet.  Mind you it is pretty empty now but not done.  So no pic yet. Ange and I have shelved the purge onslaught until after the retreat weekend.  I have a busy week coming up.  

So thats it for now.  I am hungry!  Gonna go eat something.  TFL and TTYL