MIND OVER MATTER IN SOME CASES (THIS IS A MAJOR COMPLAINING POST..SKIP IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT)

 One of my struggles I need to get a handle on is how resentful I instantly am when Ange tells me about yet another handout and or perk being on disability gets you.  In fact when she tells me another one I tell her to just stop telling me.  Makes me mad! Poor Ange.

At this point many of us seniors are living off our pensions.  It amounts to about the same amount as disability people, at least in my house, get each month.  And because we got hooked into putting 'tax free' money into RRSP's, we now are forced to take chunks out, add it to our income and pay income taxes on it!!!!  What a colossal rip off that whole thing was.  I have absolutely warned my kids to have nothing to do with RRSP's.

And in this town it's hard not to have disability recipients in your face.  Out of the dozen or so people I know, eight are on it.  And only one out of all those people drives.  And they get help with that.  Frankly I have come to the conclusion I would be better off not owning my house, being disabled enough to get on disability, and for sure not having rrsp money bopping my income tax bill sky high.  So now I have to work on being jiggy with being in the group that pays for themselves and for a whole lot of other people as opposed to those that take it.

So whilst I am complaining, have I mentioned that about a year ago my left ear started to viciously ring.  It is very distracting.  It never lets up.  I have done a ton of research on tinnitus and it was not good news.  They feel now it's a brain thing and only about 14% of people have it go away.  Once you have it you HAVE it.

This is where the mind over matter comes in.  The only thing you can do is one way or the other learn to ignore it.  Plus I keep the tv or music on all the time.  It really helps distract from it.  You have to work pretty hard not to let it drive you crazy.

Okay last complain.  Type 2 diabetes.  People without diabetes, especially type 2 (because type 1 can just poke insulin into themselves and bring their numbers down, type 2 can only do it by NOT EATING) (shovel list) don't understand how invasive that frigging disease is.  I can live with the not eating and the side effects of the meds and it making

I REST MY CASE

you fat, but what I can't handle is trying to get my medication.  I am almost at the point that I say eff it and just quit taking all of them.

  You can't see a doctor here.  It takes days and days of trying physically to get a day when there is a clinic and the only way you can do that is by repeatedly going in to the one and only one here across town.  And you have to go three hours before opening time.  Our clinic is only open two hours in the morning and two hours at five if open at all.

 My standing one year lab requisition for A1c (which you need to get a prescription renewal) ran out a long time ago.  So I need to see a doctor to get that.  And then I need to go back to get the prescription.  And they tend to hand out only three month scripts.  In this day and age we should be able to get at least one year.  

So one is reduced to virtual doctors.  Which would be great but they are no different.  They want to know when your last test was done and when they find out you can't get one they will only give you a month or two...so the circle has to start all over.  So what are they going to do?  No matter what your a1c is you still have to have pills. 

 I hate this.  The actual difficulty eating exactly correctly is no fun and difficult but I can live with that.  But the huge dysfunction in our medical system is finally getting to me..to the point where I actually would quit all the drug shit except I really need one of them for my reflux.  Without that one I can't live.  Grrrrrrrrrr. 

 And the kicker to this?  I spent my whole life restricting my carbs massively.  I was the original Dr. Atkins subscriber at the age of 24.  But I still got type 2.  And I was pretty skinny til I got it too.  I have done the research.  The meds and the disease causes the typical weight gain.  The weight gain does not cause the disease.  It's the other way around.

I could start complaining about my tailbone which keeps me walking around like a wounded drug addict, bent right over and hanging on to stuff but I will leave that for another day.  It's time now for me to go do my daily gratitude list.  Hahahahaha!!!!!!  There is always something to be grateful for!  TFL  & TTYL

'If I could uninvent anything it would be Hitler's mom, guns and broccoli.'  Dominic Monaghan (lost)