G-DAMMIT!!!!!

 I put a G up there instead of God out of respect for those that attend church every Sunday.  I am not religious, spiritual, but not religious.  Even so I won't let my kids say 'my effing god' in front of me.  We could get struck  by lightening...you never know.  I find the expression offensive actually.

I think I have mentioned on occasion that I cannot find anything in this frigging house.  I am not sure if it's because I can't remember anything anymore or if it's the stupid house cuz there is no logical storage places or if it's a combination of both.  I just know I can NEVER find what I am looking for.  

I remember Bill telling me that his last wife was famous for the same thing and would just go buy another.  I remember arrogantly being quite critical about that, negatively I might add.  And because of him telling me that tidbit, and my negative judgy reaction, I refuse to do that, even when I am desperate.  And Kim, I am totally sorry for my judgement!!!!  Like she has any remote interest in my boring nothing blog and is actually reading it!  Hahaha...right!

Anyway, I digress, as usual.  You guys are lucky I am not dictating this thing.  I would be wandering all over my head, verbalizing silly unnecessary crap!  Like I just did now!! Dammit!!

Back to my G-dammit. I have lost my new Christmas tree.  Seriously!!!!  I replaced last years, oh just a minute, I didn't have one last year, at least not one to be proud of.  The year before I had quite a nice three footer but after spending a year in a bag, it came out absolutely mouldy and stinky.  Out it went and I didn't replace it.  I had a two foot warped badly made atrocity that I rammed a million lights onto and used that last year.  So this year I ordered from Amazon a nice little three footer.  It arrived in a perfect two foot box in a couple of pieces.  I have put that box somewhere and I cannot find it.  Since putting it somewhere I have completely cleaned my house for Kathy and Kerry's visit.  I even cleaned the storage/laundry room and I absolutely cannot find it. I am so fed up with not being able to find anything.

On another note I was not sleeping in the night as usual.  I got thinking about 'influencers', trying hard not to be scathing about them.  I have a hard time not thinking of them as societal parasites.  But I don't really know enough about their interests to be too judgemental...yet.  I know what basically they do.  I have seen them in movies.  They use their phones to show off either travel, clothes, make up, themselves, pets, cooking or what ever.  So I decided to lay there and waltz through my life in my head and decide that if I HAD to become an influencer, what talent or interest of mine would I choose.  The options were not plentiful.  It seems I have a modicum amount of interests and master of none.

I cook but a video of my cooking would be ludicrous.  Most the time I am looking for something I can't find.  My kitchen is too small to do cutesy  shots of me making the title of the video only to end up making something that doesn't even resemble what the title calls it....due to not finding what I need.

I play piano.  No.  Just no to that one.

Clothes for fat broads...hahaha!!!  Most of what I wear I bought after our house fire in 2003.  So a big NOT! to that one.

Hey now!!!!  One time around 2012 I wrote one hundred poems.  It was an internet project suggestion.  Write a poem a day for 100 days.  Well I wrote 99.  I wanted to just do it my way a little bit.

I could influence people to write poetry.  I could film myself reading one of my poems per session and put it on instagram and you tube.  The fact that they are particularly awful is irrelevant.  Have you ever read a Walt Whitman poem?  and he is famous. But with a little more consideration of this idea, I had to admit I am not really into serious humiliation.  It may seem like it but I do have a limit on the feeling.

Needless to say by morning I was feeling like a loser.  I don't do anything whatsoever that would be considered worth passing on to anyone ever.  Now I am feeling bad again just writing this.  I am going to quit this post right now.  TTYL

'Sometimes the amount of self control it takes to not say what's on my mind is so immense, I need to take a nap afterwards.'  Anon.

No pictures today but I am going to put one of my poems here just to prove my point.  Don't worry it won't be a particularly long one!  Hahahaha!!!

POEM 70 DEC. 2

WOE IS ME

I totally despise and hate my bra

it seems for women that this is a law

we must wear them, like it or not

but fighting this law, freedom we got

But hold on a minute I must say

I am still wearing one every day

I tried to discard them in the trash

but I yanked them back out in a flash

for its like this, you must see

if I don’t wear one they will hit my knee

they will swing and swag to and fro

different directions they will go

So I must keep my bras today

to rein them in and stop the sway

I need to anchor them and tie them down

to keep them from dragging on the ground