Well howdy folks! Another day at sea. I am sitting in the Lido, dinner eaten, bottle of wine consumed, watching the people go by. I have become inexplicably interested in fat placement and why it ends up where it ends up. Let me explain.
I look at all of these aging people surrounding me and it brings to mind a nice fresh bowl of tomatoes, sitting on the counter, untouched, uneaten and forgotten. Over time, they slowly evolve into something quite different. They start to sag, lose their healthy plumpness and glow until they are a withered, flattened soggy shadow of their former selves. But we humans go through an added stage that a bowl of tomatoes do not..and that is fat placement or should I say fat displacement.
Unfortunately, there are just enough young people on board to remind us of what we once used to be. Flat tummies, firm butts, defined cheekbones, strong jaw lines, smooth tight skin…well you get the picture. Now, once we are beyond the youth stage, our flesh, fat and flab starts a slow but inevitable descent. Even the chunkier young ones have fat tummies that stick out in front, firmly leading the way. Once you get past that 55ish age, that firm lump of fat starts to slant downwards and downwards until you can’t see your privates anymore. The same goes with your jawline. Suddenly one day you notice an extra little piece of fat, deposited just either side of your mouth. And, paradoxically, the fat seems to disappear from under your chin to leave a saggy piece of skin hanging there. Where is the fat where you need it?? And what the hell is with that big fat lump on the top of some people’s back (me for example) Where does that come from and why THERE? I have a crease in the back of my neck that hasn’t seen the light of day for the last two years. Women’s breasts…another place that you wouldn’t mind the fat staying put…but does it? No it does not and where does it go I ask? Well from what I can see, it slides down to my lower stomach, which has taken on a life of its own.
Another unfortunate thing I have noticed is how your stomach circumference doubles the minute you sit down. I have learned to never ever look at myself in the mirror sideways, from behind or sitting down. It I only look at myself standing, straight on with my chin lifted up, I am not too bad. But holy hell, the minute I sit down and see my reflection from the side…I just can’t believe that all that is me. How is that possible?
I see on board here I have a lot of company in this area. If we aren’t fat, we are misshapen. And the skinny toned ones spend their entire day running around the deck and eating minuscule amounts of dry bread, fruit and fatless yogurt, all the while longingly staring at the likes of me eating steak and mashed potatoes. I think I would rather be me. TTYL
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